


Angels and Warlocks

by Team_Alpha_Wolf_Squadron



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M, Pre-Season/Series 01, Warlock Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 60,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21638284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Team_Alpha_Wolf_Squadron/pseuds/Team_Alpha_Wolf_Squadron
Summary: Alec Lightwood was born a warlock. His parents had done their best to hide him from the world, and tried again now that warlocks and Downworlders were going missing. With rumours of Valentine resurfacing, Alec is sent to live with Ragnor Fell, his parents in the hopes to keep him safe, Ragnor in the hope that he'll get Alec to see that being a warlock isn't as bad as the shadowhunters made it out to be.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 57
Kudos: 600





	Angels and Warlocks

“Stop!” Alec screamed, clutching onto the bed beneath. “Just stop dad, it’s not working!”

Robert gave one last go with his stele before sitting back. The smell of burning flesh didn’t leave the room as soon as Robert stopped. It never did. It would smell like this for the next five days, at least, until Alec figured out how to open his windows again. 

Alec heard a sigh, the sound breaking through the pounding in his ears. The pat on Alec’s back on the other hand, he certainly felt that. Robert said a short, “Sorry,” but at this point Alec didn’t even know if he meant it. There was nothing his dad liked less than losing, and Alec’s problem was one of his biggest losses to date. After Alec that was. Although, he supposed the two weren’t dissimilar. “I suppose we’ll have to try something else.”

“Right,” Alec huffed out, forcing down the tears with every harsh breath he made. 

“I’ll er, I’ll send your mom in.”

“No!” Mom wouldn’t be able to do anything. She’d just- she’d just sit there and look at him. Tell him what he already knew. That this was for the best. That he had to let his dad do this. They had their reputation to think of. Did Alec honestly see his life any better if he kept them? “I’ll be fine. I just need…” he didn’t remember right now. But, he was sure it would come to him. He usually had to do this when his mom wasn’t around anyway. “I just need to be alone.”

Robert nodded, giving one last pat, this time to Alec’s head, before the door closed.

He bashed his head into the pillow, finally letting the pain take him over. It felt like fire. Pure fire licking at his back. They’d tried the stele four times already, yet still Robert thought it would work if they just tried another rune, or another motion or another something that always ended up with Alec wishing he was dead because surely hell was better than being burned alive by his own father. 

The pain dulled enough for Alec to move after a while. A little longer and Alec was able to force his way through it and stand up. The disinfectant was in the bathroom, and thankfully Alec had learned through the years that moving his bed closer to the bathroom would help him in the long run. 

It was a hard reach, it being on his back and all, but Alec had a system, and, thankfully, a hook he could put a sponge on that was the right height to reach his shoulder blades. He tried not to look as he rubbed and reapplied the disinfectant. But even Alec couldn’t help looking at the awful wings that fluttered and shook on his back.

The irony was they looked like every depiction of angel wings he’d ever seen. Fluffy, larger than life and actually functional. The only difference was they were black. Like his hair, Alec had thought when he was younger, which made sense. Having white wings with black hair would be like seeing someone with red eyebrows when they had blonde hair. Unless it had been dyed, which Alec’s hair certainly wasn’t, then why shouldn’t his wings match his hair colour?

He was the only one that saw it that way however. Actually, the mere fact he had wings in the first place was abhorrent to the select few that knew about it. Well, most of the select few, there was one person that liked them, and Alec didn’t trust his judgment all that much, Downworlder that he was. 

Anyway, black was wrong, Alec was wrong, and that meant every couple of months when his dad had decided he finally had the solution to getting rid of them, Alec lay on his bed and let his dad have at it. 

He finished making sure he wouldn’t get an infection before collapsing back in his room for a nap. 

He slept the rest of the day, and the night away, his mom knocking to wake him up the next morning to announce their ‘guest’ had arrived. Ergo, Alec better be there as fast as he could so their guest could leave.

He tried his best to be fast, his back pulling with every stretch and bend he made. When he finished he did what he’d been doing since he was five years old and closed his eyes, willing his wings to disappear.

They weren’t really gone, just glamoured, and so long as he was careful, no one would be any wiser that there was something wrong with Alec’s back.

Ragnor Fell was seated in his parents study when Alec got there. They’d offered him a cup of tea, which was more than they usually offered the other Downworlders that came to the Institute.

Ragnor stood when Alec came in, gently shaking Alec’s hand as he got right down to business and told him to lift his shirt up.

“It didn’t work,” Alec said before Ragnor could make a comment.

“I told your father it wouldn’t,” Ragnor sighed, his magic gentle as it healed the slices Robert had made. “If you could remove your glamour for me I’d like to take a look at them. Make sure there’s no damage.”

Alec kind of wished there was damage, it meant they could be removed if there were. But, so far, his wings were impervious to anything they threw at them. 

Ragnor was gentle as he opened the bones and feathers out, filtering through them to the skin beneath. He made a few humming noises, and Alec watched as a few feathers fell.

“All fine,” Ragnor said, coming around to Alec’s front. “Now, how about your magic.”

Maryse made a choked groan, none of them liking to admit that Alec had…  _ that. _ It meant what they’d all been ignoring for years was true. That Alec wasn’t human. That his mom had, maybe, actually, fallen prey to those things she hunted in the dark. 

“I can glamour myself,” Alec listed.

“You’ve been able to do that for years. How about the other things I’ve had you read? Have you tried any of them? Any spells? It’ll help me know what to focus your studies on if we have a better idea of where your natural inclination lies.”

Alec clenched his fingers, not sure what to do. Eventually he settled on a half truth, “I didn’t have time to read them. There’s been a boost in demon sightings and I’m on the rota so…” He did have time to read the books, but, between his other studies and the blatant fact that he didn’t want to, that he knew his parents didn’t want him to, it made forcing himself to do so that little bit harder. “I’ll have tried a few before your next visit.”

Ragnor hummed again, eyes flitting to Alec’s parents. Everyone in this room knew Alec would have another excuse as to why he hadn’t tried the spells by the next time Ragnor came around. They would probably feign an illness if not. They’d done it before. 

“You know Alec, I think it’s time I invite you to my home for a few weeks.”

“Absolutely not,” Maryse snapped.

Ragnor turned slightly to her, “Maryse, see sense. Things here are a little… tense these days. Taking your son to my home in London would give all of us some needed space.”

Tense? Alec cut his eyes to his parents, noting both of them looking a little pale. They oddly weren’t arguing either. In fact, they were sharing a look, almost appearing as if they were going to agree with- “Alec leave us for a moment will you? Go find your siblings, make sure they aren’t in trouble.”

Being trained not to question orders sucked sometimes. Like now when he wished he had a little ounce of courage to tell his mom that because they were talking about him he had every right to listen in. Not to mention he was twenty. He was an adult and could make his own decisions and, more importantly, decide what he was going to do with his own life.

But he didn’t. Instead he did what his mom said and went to find his siblings. 

Thankfully they were in the kitchen. Not so thankfully, Izzy was making breakfast, and it looked like she’d made enough for Alec.

“I’m not hungry,” he said, grabbing the closest cereal box he could. 

Izzy let him do it, Jace and Max looking on longingly as the only edible thing in this place was kidnapped by Alec.

“You’re up early,” Jace said.

“Mom wanted to meet with me.”

“Demons?” Izzy asked.

Alec shrugged, careful to flatten his wings out before he took a seat. If they were flat, he could lean back enough it looked like he was sitting on the back of the chair. It saved questions about his posture anyway. “I think I’m going away for a while.” Ragnor was going to get what he wanted. Just the way they looked at each other showed that, on this rare occasion, Ragnor was going to get what he wanted. “Some kind of seminar thing.”

“A seminar?” Jace repeated. “On what? You’re twenty, you’re a shadowhunter, what more could they want you in school for?”

Which were all valid points so he shrugged again. “Guess I’ll find out.”

He didn’t want to go. Ragnor was going to make him learn magic. He was going to make Alec look at his wings, keep them in the open. He was, probably, going to try and explain warlocks to Alec again. Breach the subject of Alec… of Alec possibly…

“Maybe it’s about the parabatai rune,” Jace suggested, far more engaged now. “I mean, they told us we had to wait. Maybe this is why. Maybe you’re going away to learn what we have to do.”

“Maybe.” Definitely not. If things had been normal, Alec would already be Jace’s parabatai. The only reason he wasn’t was because his parents weren’t sure the rune wouldn’t burn Alec up if he so much as touched the tip of a stele. Hence why Alec had to paint his runes on every morning. Also why he was stuck on desk duty. 

Maybe if he went with Ragnor he could actually go outside for once. 

He supposed he would find out. 

Breakfast was full of Jace telling Alec all the things he’d have to take note of while he was away. Even Max was excited for him. The only one who seemed to realise Alec wasn’t excited to be leaving was Izzy. 

She cornered him when the other two left to grab things Alec needed to pack with him. Daggers and the like. “What’s really going on?”

He sat a little forward, folding his wings behind him. “I don’t know. Ragnor’s invited me out to his house though.”

She leaned forward, “Do they…?”

He shook his head. “I don’t think so.” If they knew that. If they knew the other abnormal thing about him, he didn’t think he would even be alive anymore. “It’s about something else.”

“Like what?” Izzy asked.

Alec shrugged. Sometimes he thought she knew. Suspected maybe. But she’d never said anything out loud. About his wings anyway. The other thing, the gay thing, she certainly never lost an opportunity to talk to him about. The other night, before dad had told him he may have a solution to make him normal, she’d locked him in her room and asked his opinion on the two boys she had lusting over her. 

But this? Even now she didn’t say anything to him, just twisted her mouth and told him he better keep in touch and, “Are you sure they’re sending you away? I mean, Ragnor’s a  _ warlock _ , why would mom and dad even consider his opinion?”

He didn’t know, but they were. He knew why Ragnor wanted him. He’d never made his interest in Alec a secret, propositioning Maryse and Robert almost annually to take Alec to London for some proper, private tutoring. He always phrased it as a shadowhunter thing, he did used to teach in the Academy he told them. But they knew, they all knew Ragnor wanted to train Alec in magic. Show him what he truly was.

So far they’d held their ground. Even when Ragnor had threatened them with the Accords Alec’s parents had held their ground and told him Alec could blend in just fine with his own, his real, kind. 

Yet somehow this time, now, they were giving in?

He didn’t get it.

Still, some part of him held out hope. That they would come to their senses and stick to what they always said, that Alec was better off here. Yet, not long after he’d went to train, his unmarked bow and arrows in hand did his parents come in and tell him he was going to London for a while.

“It’s… it’s for the best,” Maryse said, eyes to the ground. 

He didn’t understand. “Why? Mom what’s going on?”

Robert, arm around Maryse, was the one to tell him, “There are rumours circulating the Institutes Alec. Rumours that could put you in danger should anyone find out about…” His wings, his mark as it was properly named. Then to drive the knife in deeper, “It’s better for you to go with someone of your own kind for a while son.”

With that one sentence Alec felt something inside him give. He wasn’t childish enough to throw his weapons, but by God he wanted to. Instead he settled for turning away, making sure they didn’t see him cry. They hated seeing him cry. “What time am I expected to leave?”

There was a pause, Maryse saying, “Six.” Three hours then.

“Son-”

“Don’t.” How could he even call Alec that? How had he stood it, all these years looking at what Alec was and trying to love it? No wonder he was so misshapen. So wrong. He wasn’t a Lightwood. He wasn’t even a shadowhunter. “Please.”

“Ragnor will take good care of you,” Maryse promised.

Alec didn’t know how to feel about that.

He packed what little he had, never really one for possessions. After that, he checked out his bow. It was the only one that wasn’t made out of any special metals. Plain wood, Alec had to carve the runes in himself to make it look like it was just some kind of custom made bow. Not that it mattered. No one else used it, much preferring the actual, metal, bows that were available to them and had been tried and tested on the field to work.

They wouldn’t care that it was gone.

They wouldn’t care that he was gone. 

He cleaned up his room when he got back, looking behind the bed to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything, stuffing an old magazine Isabelle had gifted him so far down into his suitcase he hoped it got lost there when he found it sticking out from one of his floorboards. He knew she’d been trying to help, but Alec hadn’t even glimpsed at the naked guys inside, and quite frankly was too scared to go across the hall and return it in case someone was out there and saw him with it in hand.

All it took was one mistake. 

He felt his wings flutter at that, and then had to clean his room again when a few more feathers fell from them. Those, at least, he could put under Izzy’s door. She thought he had some secret bird hidden in his room, or at least a magpie that liked to invade his window since, ever since she was little, she’d been collecting them. Either as quills, a hair accessory, or even hanging from her walls, Izzy found a place for them. 

He was going to miss her.

He was going to miss all of them. But dad was right, if trouble was around, best Alec stay with his own kind. Staying here, after all, was only going to get him dead, and Alec had come too far in life to give up that easily. So, Ragnor Fell it was.

He had his case ready at five thirty, and spent the remaining time sitting at his usual computer looking through CCTV and hoping his siblings wouldn’t end up in trouble while he was gone. It was bad enough he wasn’t allowed on the field, but not being able to watch them constantly from the ops centre had him twitching as every bad scenario he could think of flooded his mind at once.

“Ooh,” He heard behind him, Izzy straightening up when he looked, a few feathers in hand. “I’m keeping these.”

“Fine.” He hated the mere sight of them. 

He found himself in a hug as soon as she’d finished stowing them in her purse. “I’m going to miss you.”

“We all are,” Jace said, coming up behind her. “Did mom say how long you were going to be gone for?”

“Er.” No, actually, she hadn’t. She’d just said he was going for a few months. But how long was a few months? Two? Four? Longer? Would Ragnor want to keep him longer? 

They must have read his uncertainty since they didn’t ask again, Izzy instead hugging him tight once more. “Don’t spend all your time in your room okay. You’re in London. See the sights. Meet people. Have fun.”

“And bring back souvenirs,” Jace chimed.

“I’ll try,” he promised, surprised to find himself hugged by Jace when Izzy was done. 

It was nice. Warm, and this close Alec could actually feel how firm Jace’s chest was pressed against his own without being flipped to the floor seconds later. He clung on a little tighter.

Up until the point Jace’s hands went down enough Alec felt the brush of his hand against one of Alec’s feathers, not through the feather itself, more, the ruffling of it against where it lay on his skin, like someone tugging a strand of hair back. Rearing, he pretended like nothing was wrong and asked where Max was before Jace could start thinking about what he might have felt.

Turned out his little brother was with their parents, apparently someone had let him near a stele again and, naturally, he tried to set something on fire. His family was just full of criminals in the making.

Six came all too soon.

It was a private affair, Alec’s sending away. Gathered in the Head’s office, Alec had one last look at his family before Ragnor was opening up a portal. He waved to them, his siblings that was, he didn’t want to know what his parents were like. Whether they were sad to see him go. Delighted.

Maybe they wouldn’t fight so much now Alec was gone. He knew he was at the root of a lot of their fights. They thought he didn’t hear them, when he was there, recovering from another attempt to remove his wings, but he did. 

Maybe things would be happier now he wasn’t there.

He supposed he wouldn’t be around to find out.

“Bye.”

Ragnor’s house was large. Three stories, a lot of rooms, and, most of all, crowded. Not with people. More like trinkets, things he’d picked up along his long life. Most of that was books. They were everywhere. Bookcases lining the walls, all of them full to the brim. Then there were the piles, the ones against the sofa, the ones at the bottom of the stairs.

“It’s a bit untidy I admit,” Ragnor said, moving some of the books on the actual stairs, “But don’t worry, I’ll clean it up a bit tomorrow.” 

Tomorrow?

He looked out the window, surprised to see the dead of night staring back at him. Right, time difference. Seven hours if he remembered correctly. That was going to be a pain to get used to. Even more so because Ragnor wasn’t a shadowhunter. Meaning he didn’t get up in the late afternoon and work all night. He kept regular hours, meaning morning, sunlit, hours and dark, moon filled, nights. 

He caught Ragnor looking at him. Or, more accurately, his wings, “There’s no need to keep them glamoured here Alec. We’re safe here.”

Safe. Like the rest of the world wasn’t.

It wasn’t entirely untrue.

He let the glamour fade. More so because he was used to having his wings out while Ragnor was around than feeling comfortable with them out. It was strange seeing them inch into his vision. So much so he kept them tight to his back as Ragnor led him up to the second story and told him to pick out a room.

“Any except the one at the end of the hall. That’s my guest room.”

Alec frowned, “Aren’t they all guest rooms?” Ragnor had said before he even showed Alec the first room that his own was on the third story through his study. He liked not having to travel far after a late night, which Alec could relate to after spending far too long sometimes studying in the library.

“They are,” Ragnor agreed, “But my friends have laid claim to that room in particular. They’ve left all their junk inside they simply won’t take home with them. If you don’t mind, I’d rather you have your own space than have to battle it out in there. Slobs the lot of them.” and from the sounds of it, even with magic, Ragnor wasn’t one to pick up after his friends.

He chose one facing the river. It wasn’t the largest of the rooms, but the view, the rolling fields and the fact he was in a different country made it his favourite. Ragnor hung near the doorway as Alec put his case down, seeming to deliberate for a moment before saying, “There’s wards stretching ten miles either way. It’s been a long day for myself, but I know you keep to a different timetable. If you find yourself bored, feel free to explore. I want this place to be comfortable for you Alec.”

Alec nodded. He appreciated the hospitality. He did. It was just, this was all still surreal. He’d always, deep down, knew something like this would happen one day, but the reality of it was still awful. Mostly because he’d always hoped his dad would come through for him before this happened. That, finally, removing his wings would mean Alec could live a normal shadowhunter life. “Thank you.”

“Breakfast is at eight. If you’re not there, I have things in the cupboards for when you do wake.”

Alec nodded again, listening as Ragnor walked off and up the stairs to his own room.

Alone, Alec spent longer than usual putting his stuff away. Mostly it was just to waste time. Also to get a feel of his new room. There wasn’t much, save a bed and wardrobe. Nothing Alec didn’t have in his own room at the Institute. Except this bed felt much softer than the one he was used to. He didn’t know how to feel about that yet. 

He set his bow next to his bed, wondering if he could ask for a hook or three. His clothes went in the wardrobe, his paint, well, he didn’t need that anymore did he. 

Then he just, sat there. Alone. Thinking about how long it might be until he saw his family again. Or if he ever saw his family again. They didn’t live safe lives, and things could happen so fast, who knew what news might reach him while he was here, not watching their backs. 

He fell to the side, his wing awkwardly spreading out behind him. It was an awkward angle, made even more so because the bed was too soft. This would be a problem, he realised as he shifted trying to get comfortable. The best way he could describe lying with wings was like going to sleep with long hair. If it wasn’t tied back, or pushed up, or even away from the pillow, at some point it was going to pull uncomfortably on the neck through the night. His wings were like that. If he was on his back, the angle in which they were attached would raise his hips up enough off the sheet to give him a bad back. If he turned on his side, he either had to put them behind him, or one underneath him, and when he shifted up, he’d always ended up pulling feathers that woke him up or leaning so heavily on his wing that it either went to sleep or started aching. The only solution was lying on his front, and now the bed was threatening to suck him inside itself he was sure he wouldn’t be able to breathe by morning. 

He hated this.

He didn’t end up sleeping. 

Instead he went downstairs and read one of the few books he’d brought until morning. That, too, wasn’t very comfortable, Alec only able to sit in a select few chairs, but he made it work. Mostly by stealing one of the kitchen chairs and dragging it into the parlour or whatever it was called.

It was a bit of a surprise to see Ragnor when he did come down, shortly before eight. They were in his home, which, Alec supposed made sense, but there was still something disconcerting seeing the man he’d witnessed in nothing but impeccable dress these last twenty years in a robe with cartoon slippers.

“Good morning,” Ragnor greeted, skin also a different colour. Vaguely Alec always knew that Ragnor had two warlock marks, horns and green skin, but, again, it was odd seeing it. The horns he’d never hid, but the skin, yeah, Alec could see why that might garner him more looks than the other. 

Not that it was a bad thing. He couldn’t exactly talk, but, again, when someone only has one image of a person it’s rather shocking to see that image challenged. 

“Morning.”

There was some rustling in the kitchen, Alec dragging his chair back as he watched slithers of green magic conjure breakfast. The only thing it didn’t was the tea, one cup of which was set in front of Alec. 

“Did you sleep at all?” Ragnor asked when they’d settled.

Alec shook his head, “The bed, it’s er, too soft. I can’t-” he pointed backwards.

Ragnor nodded, “I should have thought. I’ve had a few winged friends in my time. Don’t worry, I’m sure we can make some amendments.”

Alec shook his head again, “You don’t have to. It’s just the bed. I can manage.” He’d done so most of his life after all.

Yet Ragnor was insistent. All through breakfast he told Alec that it was high time for some redecoration, and that it wasn’t a bother. In fact, he told Alec, it would make things easier for when said winged friends came along to visit. Alec didn’t really know how to feel about others coming, and he didn’t rightly know if he was thankful or not when Ragnor said they’d make a project of it. That it would be an opportunity to teach Alec some handy DIY magic.

Magic.

Alec was a warlock. Therefore he had magic. That he was going to use. That Ragnor wanted him to use. 

He felt a little sick.

Ragnor let him wash up after breakfast, Alec never more embarrassed then when he saw a number of his feathers littered around Ragnor’s home. It was one thing at the Institute, where he could put it off on random birds sneaking into the place. A whole other to lose them here, in someone elses home, and for Ragnor to know that they were Alec’s.

He picked up as many as he could on his way back to his room, then the others he found outside the bathroom, in the shower, on the way to the shower and back down the stairs. He was molting.

Great.

Ragnor had a few spread out on the table when Alec met him again. “Your father’s doing,” he said. “The stress I think. Have you found you always molt after he’s finished trying to remove them or just sometimes?”

Alec shrugged, he’d never really thought about it. “I don’t really keep track of when it happens.”

“You should,” Ragnor advised, “It’s rather interesting. It’ll give yourself an idea of why it’s brought on or simply if your body is reacting to the seasons. Some birds only molt once a year you know, others several times.”

“I’m not a bird,” Alec pointed out. Although he did feel like one sometimes.

“No, but you are special,” Ragnor said. He held up the few feathers he’d collected, “Do you mind if I keep these?”

Alec shook his head. Ragnor had kept others, why not these. “What do you use them for?”

Ragnor waved his hand, “Spells, potions. Feathers can be used in a variety of ways. Angel feathers are priceless because of this and yours Alexander, are as close as I’m possibly going to get to angel feathers.”

“I’m not an angel.” He wouldn’t be cursed like this if he was.

“Your mothers is a nephilim, and your father, if what your mother says is to be believed is one of the fallen. You have more angel blood in you than half the shadowhunters in your Institute.” 

“My father,” Alec repeated. “You know who…” sired? Raped his mom? How exactly did he phrase the creature that slipped into his mother’s bed.

Ragnor knew anyway. “She has her suspicions, I have my sources, and all of them point to an extremely powerful demon.” 

He didn’t drop a name, Alec noted. Either because he simply didn’t think Alec should know, or feared that if Alec did know he’d do something stupid. Like try and summon the thing and kill it. It was a thought that had crossed his mind a few times, but, honestly, Alec wasn’t skilled enough or stupid enough to summon a demon on purpose. 

He cleared his throat, looking for something to change the subject, “If the feathers are useful you can have them. I’ll probably shed fifty more before the week’s out.” That was how it usually went. First went the little ones, then went the longer ones. Alec often burned those. The little ones he could put off as large birds, but the large ones, the ones that were almost as tall as Alec himself, he found there was no explaining them. 

Ragnor looked happy at the prospect, eyeing up the long ones that trailed along the floor. “I hope you don’t mind if I make some of them into quills? They’re a lot sturdier than some of the peacock feathers I have in my study.”

Alec shook his head, “Like I said, you can have them. I don’t really care for them.”

Ragnor gave him an odd look for that, pocketing the few feathers he had on the table. “We’ll see about changing that.”

The first part of their morning, once Ragnor had established that Alec wasn’t lying when he said he could sit comfortably on the kitchen chairs, was reading. He had at least twenty books, most of them written by himself, for Alec to look over, all of them to do with magic. Most of them to do with transfiguring something. “I will do your bed myself, however, I have a lot more and can easily summon whatever breaks, so teaching you to be able to adjust your own comfort should be a good starting for us yes?”

Alec didn’t have an opinion on it. Mostly he was tired. Tired and frustrated. He’d already done all of his shadowhunter studies and now here he was doing other studies. It was never going to be enough. He was going to be here until he was-

He felt sick again.

God, warlocks were immortal weren’t they? That meant there was a good chance Alec was…

He didn’t think about it. He refused to think about it. He had studying to do, so he would study. 

Thankfully he knew Latin so there wasn’t a need to teach it to him, but not all of this spell book was in Latin. Nor were some of the others. He really had a lot to learn.

They didn’t do any actual magic that day.

Once they’d broke for lunch, instead of going back to the books Ragnor decided to give Alec a proper tour of the grounds. “It’s much nicer in the sunlight.” and Alec agreed.

The rolling hills he’d seen earlier looked vastless, and while there were some clouds gathering the sight was still breathtaking. It was no New York, but there was a different kind of beauty here. An ancient beauty.

The wind was chilly on his skin, and since it had been summer in New York Alec hadn’t thought to bring a jacket with him. Eventually, when it looked like their tour was going to last longer than a few minutes, he slowly encased himself in his wings. He may not like them, but by God were they warm, and easily did their job in fending off the worst of the cold. 

He picked at a few feathers as he listened to Ragnor tell the history of his home. They really were molting terribly, a few coming right out as Alec raked his fingers through them. 

Ragnor shot him a look as he finished this portion of his history lesson, the two of them heading back now they’d reached the end of his wards.

“Do you think they can support your weight?” Ragnor asked at last

Alec glanced at his wings, giving a short shrug, “They could when I was twelve.” That was the last time he’d tried it. It had been an awful day. Raphael Santiago had come to the Institute, and unlike the times beforehand Alec’s fascination with the vampire garnered some interesting results. The kind that had him wondering what the hell was wrong with his body, and just why it was getting hard for Raphael Santiago of all people. 

Yes, he was well dressed, and yes he had an accent that made Alec’s twelve year old mind go weak. But he was a vampire. More importantly, he was a guy, and that had struck fear through him so cold he’d never wanted to get away as fast in his life.

He ended up flying to the top of the Institute to get away. To work out what it all meant. Izzy would tell him later, the dumb ten year old she was, that she thought it was funny Alec had a crush on Raphael. A crush. Gay. He got teased by Izzy for years as she worked out that Alec hadn’t run because he’d been scared there was a vampire at the Institute, that she’d actually been right.

When she did realise she was good about it and Alec knew she hadn’t meant anything by it in her teasing. But just the fact a ten year old could guess about something he didn’t even know was happening to him was terrifying. 

Maryse had told him later, after she’d scoured the whole Institute, that if she ever caught Alec up so high again she was going to chain him to the ground.

Her threat didn’t mean anything. By the time she’d found him he already had another secret to add to the pile and this one, he was sure, she wouldn’t take as well as she had his wings. He’d behave.

Ragnor gave a hum, still assessing Alec’s wings, “We should try. I’ve already told you no one can see you.”

“Do we have to?” 

Ragnor shook his head, “Of course not. I was merely curious about their practicalities. Your parents never let me examine them properly and not all warlocks with wings are able to fly you know.”

“They aren’t?” Then why have them? Was it just another punishment to bestow upon their spawn? At least if they had horns they were always sharp. 

“A few of my friends, their wings are more decoration than practical. A little like having a tail actually. I don’t quite understand it myself, but yours certainly look large enough to support your body.” They were also vastly annoying because of that. “You should practice. I hear you’re an archer. The feats you could achieve from the highground are astronomical.”

“Huh.” He’d never thought of it like that. “You think I could shoot when I fly?” If he learned to use the bow while he flew he wouldn’t have to settle on hanging over a roof or finding the right angle from the ceiling. The tactical advantages of it would be amazing. More than enough for Alec to convince his mom he could go out hunting with his siblings. He wouldn’t even need to be on the ground, he wouldn’t be hurt, or seen, he could just blend in with the sky and shoot from above.

Ragnor nodded, “I don’t see why not. Like I said however, you will have to practice.”

“Yeah.” 

Not that day however since Alec had been up a day straight now and was honestly exhausted. 

They had dinner and Ragnor fixed his bed and thus ended Alec’s first day training as a… well, as a warlock he supposed.

Things went rather the same as that in the next few weeks. He’d wake, they’d have breakfast, Alec would read, he’d be quizzed on what he read, then the afternoon they’d find some quiet spot outside and do whatever Ragnor felt like doing that day. Sometimes he painted, and urged Alec to give it a go. Sometimes he brought out this odd stringed instrument and played along to the dribble of the river. 

Ragnor liked the quiet life. After his retirement from the Academy, he told Alec that it was nice to find himself with time to do things again. What wasn’t nice was how long that time could be sometimes. Alec thought Ragnor wanted him around not only to tutor him. He spoke about his friends, but save the phone conversations that were honestly so brief Alec didn’t count them and the letters he got fortnightly, there was no one else around. No pets. No people. Just Ragnor in his large house. 

Well, Ragnor and Alec now. 

“Try that one,” Ragnor snapped his fingers and a target appeared suspended in midair.

Alec got it, just like he’d got all the others.

“Try again.” 

This time the target moved, Alec following it around until it lined up perfectly, lifting his bow and planting it in the middle. Bullseye. 

A snap, and another target appeared, this time higher than the last. Alec did his best to get the height, but Ragnor had placed it so the shot fell just shy. 

He tried again, pulling back as far as he could, but, again, the shot fell shy. The target was moving up, slowly. So slow Alec wouldn’t have been able to tell had he not been watching. 

“You’re going to have to reach for it,” Ragnor called, looking mighty comfortable on his picnic blanket, lemonade in hand. 

Alec knew what Ragnor wanted. He’d been considering it himself. But he wasn’t sure it would work.

He tried again from the ground, backing up a few paces before shooting. 

Nope.

He considered calling it. Ragnor wasn’t doing this as a training tool, he just didn’t have anything else to do this afternoon and had stumbled upon Alec practicing. But, Alec wasn’t a quitter. 

The target stopped now Ragnor knew Alec couldn’t hit it from the ground. Sizing it up, Alec flexed his wings a little, getting the feel of the air beneath them. He crouched, sending them up and down in one burst as he knocked his arrow. 

He certainly got the height, and the target. But the thing about not flying was that he didn’t have the strength to fly now that he was attempting to. He couldn’t even try and glide down, unpracticed as he was in how these things on his back worked. Which meant the ground quickly became his new enemy, and even Ragnor scurried from his picnic blanket to make sure there was nothing wrong. 

“Remember to make me go through flight theory with you at some point,” Ragnor said as he fixed one of Alec’s wrists. 

He nodded, eyes fixed on the target where his arrow sat. “I got it though.” 

Ragnor followed his gaze, “You did.” He clapped Alec on the shoulder, helping him up.

He found Ragnor lingering in his practices more often after that. He seemed to like watching Alec scurry around, and liked even more that Alec actually tried using his wings if he built the height of the targets up slowly. It was his way of encouraging Alec to actually use what he’d been gifted, and, honestly, the way he was going about it was working since even Alec was adamant he wanted to still be in fighting condition when he hit the ground again. 

He fell. A lot. His face and body was scraped up so bad sometimes Ragnor actually apologised. Alec didn’t mind. Every fall taught him something new. Taught him to keep his wings angled up, not down when he was descending. Taught him he needed to take it slow and not expect them to hold his whole weight just yet when he tried to put a bit too much height into his jump. 

It also taught him he needed to figure out how to buy new clothes.

“England has a store, right?” Alec asked as his last good shirt was ruined beyond repair after another failed flight attempt. 

It was ripped all up the side, all down the front too, and considering his shirt was altered with snaps to fit around his wings sewing it back together was not an option.

“England has many stores,” Ragnor said, cutting into one of Alec’s feathers. A long one. Not the longest one by far, but still pretty long. He looked up, spying the ripped shirt in Alec’s hands, “We’ll go tomorrow,” he promised.

“Thank you.”

The store was okay. It was weird having the glamour his wings again after so many weeks without. Even weirder when Ragnor glamoured his marks too. Gone were his horns and green skin, leaving Alec unable to help himself glancing at the man that walked beside him. 

They got a few shirts, Alec got himself some pants and underwear too since he’d found a few holes in those as well. Mostly he got sweaters. Lots and lots of sweaters. If England was this cold and wet in summer he didn’t want to know what it was like in winter, and since Izzy wasn’t around to throw his things out he could wear whatever he wanted for as long as he wanted. 

They had to go to the craft store when Alec explained the alterations he did on his shirts and that evening found the two of them dividing Alec’s wardrobe between them to cut out holes for his wings to fit through. Ragnor proved surprisingly good at it, reminding Alec that he wasn’t the only one out there with clothes that needed modification. 

“Black,” Alec said, turning around in his mirror to make sure the snap was closed. “Why?”

“It’s always black with you,” Izzy sighed, her voice a little tinny over his phone. “You’re in England, you’re away from mom and dad, get yourself a rainbow sweater for once will you.”

“Izzy,” he hissed, shutting his door, “shut up.”

“Oh come on,” She laughed, “He’s a god knows how old warlock. He’s seen gay people before Alec. He might even be gay himself, I mean, have you seen how he dresses?”

Alec had, but in his opinion that didn’t mean anything. After all, Raphael dressed a little old fashioned, a little formal, but he wasn’t gay. Right? “That’s- I don’t suit rainbow, and rainbow is not a colour and even if it were I doubt they sell them in sweaters.”

“Not at the stores you probably look in,” Izzy grumbled. She sighed, something dropping on her end, “Just tell me how you are then. Is Ragnor okay? He hasn’t magicked you into a toad yet has he?”

“No.” he wasn’t sure Ragnor had the temperament to. “And he’s okay. He’s teaching me how to paint, and he’s set up an archery course for me so, it’s nice.”

“Sounds it,” Izzy said. She meant it too. 

Which begged a few questions on Alec’s end, “How’s everything there? You and Jace aren’t in trouble are you?”

“No.” That was far too quick to be believable. “Not a lot,” Izzy amended after a moment. “Not life threatening anyway. On our end.”

“This isn’t making me feel any better.”

“It’s nothing,” Izzy waved off. “Just mom and dad being squirrely. Jace is driving me up the wall too, you’ll probably get a call off him soon.”

“What do you mean squirrely?” They were acting weird before he left, but, Alec figured that was because he was still around. If it was still happening then it must be something else. There was no way they’d let Alec’s absence affect their work, or how they talked to the others. They were too professional. 

“Just,” Izzy paused for a moment, Alec hearing a few clicks meaning she was at her vanity, probably digging around for her whip. “I don’t know. They’re saying they have to go to Idris for a while. That’s why Jace wants to talk to you by the way, they’re putting him in charge while they’re gone.” Great. Another thing they were realising they didn’t need Alec for. “But they keep putting off when they’re going to Idris. First it was last week, now it’s next week, now they’re talking about taking Max with them which means they’re pushing it to next month.”

“That’s kind of odd,” he admitted.

“I know.” More rustling, the wardrobe this time if the swishes were to be believed. “Have they talked to you yet?”

“No.” They hadn’t even sent a fire message to check up on his progress. Ragnor didn’t hide it either. Alec didn’t ask, but every morning Ragnor would tell him his parents hadn’t called or sent anything. Not in a mean way, in fact he was the one that kept saying ‘maybe tomorrow’, like he was some kid away from home for the first time. Which, he kind of was.

“You don’t think it’s about…”

“The affair?” Alec filled in. “Maybe.” it would make sense why they were putting it off. If Annamarie was going to be in Idris mom probably wanted to keep dad away as long as possible. “It would make sense to bring Max too if that were the case. Remind dad where his priorities lie.”

“Urgh,” He knew Izzy was scrunching up her nose. Could picture it like she was in front of him. “I hate that. Like, I know mom’s not the best but even she doesn’t deserve to be cheated on.”

“Yeah.” The thing was however, that mom was the one who did the cheating first. Not that Izzy knew. 

A slam, a rustle and Alec heard himself be set down, “Listen, I have to go in a minute. We have some suspected portal activity in Queens. But next time we’re definitely video chatting okay? I need you to show me how awful your wardrobe is.”

He smiled, “Fine. I love you.”

“Love you.” The line went dead, Alec tossing his phone onto his bed. 

He checked his sweater again before leaving to find Ragnor. He knew he had time to make another call but, if his parents wanted to get in touch they would have, and Alec wasn’t making the first move. They’d sent him here. They were his parents. It was up to them to check in on him, not the other way around. 

He called Jace however, the next day, before Jace could call him. He had to fend off twenty questions about the parabatai bond before the real meat of the call was started. Namely Jace being named head while their parents were gone.

Usually it was Alec. Alec was the one who stayed behind. He was the one who never saw any action, who was kept safe and cocooned in the Institute. He was the one who’d been taught from a young age he was only good for paperwork which meant Jace, a boy bred for war, was going to find it tough.

He did his best to promise Jace it wasn’t that bad. But it kind of was. The amount of time Jace would have free would be nonexistent. Running the Institute was a two person job, and since Alec could easily avoid his training since he didn’t need it, his free time wasn’t all that lessened. Jace, however, would probably not see any action, in the training room or outside, until their parents came back. Which meant things were going to be hell. If he didn’t end up breaking out of the Institute at one point Alec would be surprised. 

Still, he kept all his concerns and premonitions to himself, and simply told Jace that if things got too much to call him, “Or, you know, ask Izzy since she is your sister too.”

“Fair point.”

He asked Jace, after, the same as he’d asked Izzy about their parents. Jace noticed them acting odd too. Even Max had, apparently, said something was up, and if their nine year old brother was noticing something was up then something was wrong back home.

He wondered if Ragnor knew. He seemed to have a toe dipped into the shadow world, and he, too, had said something about Alec being best sent away. 

Unfortunately, either because he knew Alec had questions for him, or they’d just gotten to that point in their learning, Alec never got to ask because almost the next day he was allowed to do practical magic.

“We’re starting with simple levitation,” Ragnor instructed him, pointing to the theory in Alec’s book. “It’s best to try and do it soundlessly. However, if you feel your magic is used better with words then by all means use them. You’re the only one who knows how your magic works Alec. It’s different for everyone.” And Alec knew Ragnor wished he could have gotten his hands on Alec sooner because of that. They both knew if he’d been able to teach Alec from a child he would have no difficulty working through the metal block Alec appeared to have.

Ragnor was stubborn. Better, he was determined, and didn’t move on to something else when it looked like Alec was having trouble.

“You will get this Alec, even if it takes twenty years you’re going to get it.”

It didn’t take twenty years, but by God it felt it. He felt exhausted by the time, two weeks after that first attempt, the pen Ragnor was having him move levitated in the air before him. 

“I… I did it.”

“You did!” Ragnor laughed, the pair of them watching it clatter to the floor. Ragnor ran off as soon as it did to fetch another twenty books.

He didn’t seem to notice that Alec wasn’t happy with his achievement. That he was feeling even worse about himself because he’d done some actual magic. Yes, he’d glamoured himself for years, but a glamour could be performed by a shadowhunter. Somewhere deep down he’d always figured that was what he’d done. That he’d tapped into his shadowhunter runes, the ones his mom had tried to paint into his skin when he was younger, and used them like that. But this, that was actual magic. That wasn’t a glamour, or sudden burst of strength. He’d moved something because he’d willed it to move. He’d used magic.

As childish as it was, some things were hard to accept, and with every victory Alec made in embracing his natural abilities he felt like he was losing himself. Losing his humanity. Or, the humanity he’d always wanted for himself. 

If he became a warlock. If he accepted he was one anyway, then, could he really go home? The Accords stated that a warlock was not allowed to reside in the Institute walls. If he couldn’t live there, how could he run it? How could he go out hunting with his siblings? How could he even see his family when everything they did was to keep people like him away?

He must have looked a mess, he could feel how damp his cheeks were, since Ragnor hastily dropped whatever books he’d found. He didn’t try and cheer Alec up with a smile. Didn’t tell a story about something funny. Just sat next to him, a hand on Alec’s knee and said a quiet, “I know.” because he did know. 

It wasn’t the same, but Ragnor wasn’t born into a warlock family. His mother, or father, or whoever wasn’t a demon was a mundane. Someone who didn’t even know of the shadow world. Who knew how they’d taken it. How they’d reacted when Ragnor, green, horned Ragnor had came along instead of a normal baby. 

“It’s not fair,” Alec whined like he was all of seventeen years old again and not allowed out with the other graduating shadowhunters.

Ragnor pulled him in tight, another quiet, “I know,” let out into the air between them.

They didn’t try anymore spells. Instead Ragnor had him read books in the morning again, and when afternoon came invited Alec for walks across his home. 

It was different from before. It wasn’t a tour, or even a way to pass the time. These walks had a purpose, and that purpose was showing Alec he wasn’t alone. He told Alec about the last warlock child he’d had stay with him. “Their parents aren’t always as forgiving as yours,” and considering Alec’s weren’t very forgiving in the first place he didn’t want to know what these mundanes did to their children. 

He told Alec about his friends too. About meeting them when they were young, figuring out their powers together. He told Alec about Catarina and how both her and Ragnor still struggled to this day with their warlock marks.

“The horns I can live with. The skin not so much. I think it’s because the horns are easier to explain away.” prosthetics and all. But green skin, blue skin, any other kind of skin that wasn’t normal was difficult to talk his way out of. 

He told Alec about some warlocks that hated their marks, and those that didn’t, who wore them with pride. He told Alec about people who weren’t warlocks at all, and it was surprising just how similar their experiences were as well. 

“Raphael Santiago?” Alec made sure.

Ragnor nodded, “He’s a good boy. A sad one. Some days he’d rather kill himself then keep living. It took every ounce of strength me and Magnus had to stop him. These days he goes to Magnus more than myself, but I still get his letters, and I still tell him he’s wanted in this world. That there are people out there who care for him.”

“I didn’t know.” He’d only seen Raphael on formal occasions. Usually because the vampires had almost breached the Accords or one of them from his clan had to be brought in.

“You wouldn’t. And I don’t blame you for your lack of education. It’s how all shadowhunters are brought up. But you,” he clasped Alec’s shoulder, “Aren’t just a shadowhunter. And it’s important that you understand both sides of your life now that you’re older.”

He had a lot to say about Raphael, probably because it was the one Downworlder Alec had actually interacted with. Also because Raphael was actually a good guy and Ragnor honestly liked him. 

The stories weren’t meant to be cruel either, or show just how uneducated Alec was in other people. Ragnor just liked talking about his friends, and if by doing so meant Alec felt better about himself then he saw that as a bonus.

It kind of helped. It didn’t make the fact that Alec wasn’t what he’d always hoped he’d be better. But it did make him realise that he was coming into this new life with privilege. How many Downworlders could say this still spoke to their family? How many could say their parents cared about their wellbeing so much they’d hidden him for twenty years? 

“Can we try levitation again?” Alec asked, therefore, one morning when he came down for breakfast. As much as his parents hated the idea of him embracing a slither of his demon heritage they’d sent him here. They’d known what would happen if he came with Ragnor and let it happen. Somehow, they must have known that Alec needed to learn all he could of his magic if he was going to stand a chance in this world, and he wasn’t going to squander the time he had to do it. 

“Of course.” Ragnor fetched the pen, “We’ll keep it small. Remember to do what feels comfortable, not what you think I’m expecting from you.”

He moved the pen. 

His magic studies took over his life from there. They kept it to mornings, still, Ragnor adamant that they not waste all their day inside, but from the time he got up to a little in the afternoon Alec ate, thought and performed magic.

There was a lot of theory behind what he was learning to do. Some things came naturally, some things Alec had to figure out, but all of it was interesting in its own way. He’d never really had the chance to think about a warlock’s abilities before. At the Institute, they were good for creating wards and sometimes portals and that was that. He knew, vaguely, that they were capable of more, that their powers were so terrifying because they could do unimaginable feats that they’d been labeled dangerous. But since he’d never had the chance to delve deeper into those capabilities he’d just been left with ‘warlock bad, do not interact’.

His flying lessons were getting a little better too.

From all his practice, his wings were a little stronger. He was able to actually flap them, and not end up on his face as a result. He’d also figured out gliding which, while it wasn’t flying, was much more preferable than falling. It also helped that Ragnor kept him motivated. He’d moved on from high targets to randomly appearing ones that shot some kind of paint at him if he didn’t shoot it fast enough. He’d come inside more than once covered in the stuff, Ragnor looking mightily pleased with himself. 

It was nice. Not at all what he’d thought it would be like if he’d ever got sent away with Ragnor. 

Before he knew it he’d been there five months. “Well yeah.” Five months of no contact from his parents. “That’s what being the head’s supposed to be like.” Five months of Maryse and Robert flitting to Idris more and more, leaving Jace at his wits end as he tried to figure out how he was supposed to go on patrol. “It’s not supposed to be fun.”

“But I thought there’d be, I don’t know, more bossing around? They just look at me when I tell them to do something,” Jace sighed. Things must have been bad since his room was a mess. Even from the small window Jace’s phone made Alec could see the clothes thrown around and bed unmade. Nothing at all like the kid that voluntarily cleaned Alec’s room for him so he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable sitting down. 

“Well are you telling them to do something right or are they just ignoring you. If it’s the former you need to look at what you’re asking of them. They’ve been doing their jobs for years Jace, they know when a demon attacks they write it down and track it.” Even if some of them did need to be reminded of it when they let themselves get idle. “If it’s the latter, look at how you’re addressing them. They won’t respect you if you don’t respect them. That being said, if you’re a pushover, they’re not going to listen to you. A leader needs to be certain in their judgement and their actions. Think of them like animals, if you’re scared, they can smell it.”

Jace rubbed the bridge of his nose, “I wish you were here.”

“Me too.” It was nice here, but he did miss the chaos back home sometimes.

Jace perked up a little, “So tell me, you found anything more about the parabatai rune?”

Alec shook his head, he hadn’t even thought to ask. He knew the answer, it was just finding a way to tell Jace they were incompatible he was putting off. “I’ll look around a little more.”

“It’s been five months, what’s Ragnor got you doing there?”

He knew what they thought. Izzy thought he was getting special lessons that would finally get him field ready. Jace, on the other hand, thought Ragnor had effectively kidnapped Alec for some kind of shadowhunter slave. Apparently there’s been some rumours going around the Downworld that has the warlocks shook.

“You know, a little of this a little of that. Reading mostly.” He leaned back, tilting his phone so Jace could see the pile of books on his bed. 

“Sounds… fun?”

Alec shrugged. “Better than sitting at a computer all night.”

He asked about his parents again, whether they’d asked about him last time they’d been back.

They hadn’t, which Alec didn’t know if he cared about or not. It had been five months at this point, there was no use in hoping they’d miraculously ask about him now when they hadn’t before. Still, Jace was nice enough to say, “I’m sure they’re just busy.” Just like Ragnor did when Alec came down every morning.

“Yeah.” They were cutting ties with him. He just knew it.

“I miss you anyway. It’s not the same. Izzy’s taken over. Without two against one she’s finally realised she can spread her shit wherever she wants.” Jace honed in on one particular spot that definitely looked to have been Izzy’s doing. There was even a feather boa lying amongst a mess of clothes Izzy probably hadn’t been bothered about putting away yet. “I swear to god if I find one more thong in my drawers I’m gonna lose it.”

“Ew.” Sister. Did not need to know that. 

“It’s true. And it’s not like she’s gonna keep them in Max’s room since, well, he’s never here either. She needs to get rid of some of her clothes or, I don’t know, get a bigger wardrobe. Something.”

“Just put it in my room,” Alec suggested before remembering it wasn’t his room anymore. If Izzy hadn’t used it, and Alec would have thought she would considering just how much stuff she had, then that meant his parents had given it to someone else. 

They really had cut all ties.

Jace was good enough not to confirm it, his face betraying the cool, “Yeah- I’ll er, ask.”

There was a demon hunt not long after that, meaning Alec only got the short ten minutes with Jace. Just like he’d gotten the short call with Izzy. He didn’t like not seeing them all the time, he felt left out here, just getting fed the summary of their day to day lives. It wasn’t the same. But, he wasn’t the same anymore either.

“What about that one?” Ragnor asked.

They were out, actually outside, in a town, with mundanes that kept brushing against his wings every other second. “Er, it’s nice?” 

He wasn’t one for decor. If he was honest he’d never had the chance to have an opinion. He wasn’t like Izzy who demanded when she was thirteen that everything in her room had to be painted and threw a fit until she got it. He wasn’t like Jace that had snuck in posters and merely refused to let anyone in his room on the off chance they wanted to. He was Alec, and Alec had always followed the rules because, well, he was a big enough broken rule to begin with wasn’t he.

“You hate it,” Ragnor nodded, the pair of them moving onto the next few chests. 

“I really don’t need a chest,” Alec said, not for the first time that day.

Ragnor waved him off, “You need more places to put your things,” and that was that. Considering the state of the wardrobe Alec thought that was that. He may have bashed it a few too many times with his wings. It was why his own wardrobe was as far away from his bed as he could get it at the Institute, but the one at Ragnor’s was next to the door, meaning not far from the bed, meaning every time Alec relaxed his wings they hit the wardrobe and, apparently, his wings weren’t as soft as the rest of his body. It was quite like being hit with a metal rod, which meant damage which meant being here because Ragnor had seen said damage and promised him that it wasn’t a bother. “Something a little durable would be better but, since we don’t know your,” he nodded towards Alec’s back, “limits, we’ll settle for something cheap and move that wardrobe when we get back.”

They got a few more things once they’d picked out a chest. This IKEA place was full of every kind of furniture Alec could think of. Including hooks, which Ragnor hummed and harred about since hooks he could spend a bit more on. 

“Are you sure you don’t want the unicorn ones?” Ragnor asked, the hooks teasing him from Ragnor’s hands.

He smothered a smile, a part of him thinking Ragnor actually wanted him to get the unicorn ones, if only for his own enjoyment. “I’m not a unicorn kind of guy.” The stag ones he’d picked out were interesting enough as they were anyway. They reminded him of some of the crests he’d see at the Institute. 

Until he saw the cat ones and had to switch them out. It reminded him a little of the cat that hung around the Institute. The only thing in there that liked to swipe at him, knowing what was on his back. Izzy thought the thing hated him, Alec knew it just wanted to play and didn’t understand why the big bird boy wouldn’t let him tear out a few feathers.

He got an upturned lip at them from Ragnor, but they found their way to Ragnor’s home anyway. He thought magic would be used to set it all up, and was surprised when Ragnor got tools out of somewhere.

“We have nothing better to do,” he said, which, yeah they didn’t Alec guessed.

He didn’t think he’d ever forget watching a seven whatever hundred year old warlock look at a slab of wood long enough to get worried. It was funny, in retrospect, but at the time it had him wondering what on earth could be so special about that one piece of wood that had Ragnor so stumped.

Turned out he couldn’t figure out if it was part A or part E.

A chest was better in the long run, Alec realised. Once they’d replaced the wardrobe, the chest wasn’t high enough to get the brunt of Alec’s wing when they popped out. It was also handier reaching in there than combing through hangers for the sweater he was looking for. 

The hooks were even better. He could actually put his bow away now after he’d finished using it and didn’t have to worry about standing on it if he wanted to go to the bathroom on a night. 

More months passed, Alec’s magic progressing from levitation to conjuring. He was doing his best to will a burger from his favourite food joint in New York into existence when Ragnor came back from his short phone call.

“Everything alright?”

Ragnor looked a little frazzled, toying with the phone in his lap. He got up after a moment, puttering around much like he had done when Alec had first came to stay with him, tidying away stray books that he got down sometimes for no other reason than to look for another. “I’m afraid we’re going to have some company in a few days.”

“Oh?” His parents? Maybe they’d been holding off because they wanted to see him in person.

“Raphael is turning eighty five and if it were up to my friends I would be in New York hitting the club scene.” Alec repressed a snigger. “However I managed to talk them around. Namely because Raphael is just as scarred by clubs as myself. I hope you don’t mind Alec.”

He shook his head, “Just tell me when they’ll be around and I’ll make myself scarce.” He was surprised one of Ragnor’s friends hadn’t already visited him. Alec had caught snippets of conversations, of Ragnor telling people he was busy, but from the sounds of who he hung around with Alec didn’t think they’d merely do what he told them.

“You can stay down,” Ragnor said, “If you like. We’ll just be having a drink or two.”

“I’m underage,” Alec pointed out.

“In New York.”

Right. England. Lower drinking age. He thought quickly, “I just- I mean they’re your friends, it’s fine. I’m not good around people anyway.” Especially someone like Raphael who would know who he was. They may not have talked a lot, but Raphael knew he was a Lightwood, and if word got out that Alec was a warlock, “Yeah, I’ll just stay upstairs. I need to talk to mom anyway.”

Ragnor seemed to understand with the mention of Maryse that not everyone knew the Lightwoods had a warlock son. With a promise to keep the noise down he had Alec help him clear out the small parlour room and lock away with wine cellar.

“Magnus thinks I don’t know but he steals bottles of my finest vintages whenever he comes around.” Which meant chains, spells and more locks Alec had seen in one place. This Magnus must be determined. 

All too soon the day of Raphael’s birthday came, and since it was later in New York Raphael was up and at it at two o clock England time. 

“It’s my birthday!” Alec heard from his room, Raphael already sounding drunk as a few more feet clattered in behind him. 

“And you’re going to find yourself a pile of ash if you don’t let me close the blinds. Magnus, I thought you said you weren’t taking him drinking.”

“I did, it’s not my fault he gets depressed on…” the voices muffled.

Alec spent the rest of his night trying to get through the mountain of reading Ragnor kept giving him. He wouldn’t say those downstairs were loud. There was music, and after a while singing, but Alec had heard worse from his siblings. He’d heard worse when he managed to sneak out of the Institute looking for Izzy, those clubs enough to give him a headache. That, downstairs, was nothing.

At least while it stayed downstairs. 

He’d just finished in the bathroom, and like some old houses it was down the hall, not attached to his room, meaning he had to step into the freezing hallway and hope his toes didn’t fall off on his way there and back. He’d almost made it, his room within arms reach, when someone clattered up the stairs and landed, laughing, on his back a few feet away.

He was drunk, and thankfully not Raphael. That was about the only thing Alec managed to register before two gleaming yellow eyes blinked up at him. Alec had never thought warlock marks pretty before. But on this guy, with glitter caking every inch of him, there was nothing else to call them. 

He spent longer than he should have looking at them, looking at the man too with his shirt almost to his neck with how much it had ran up. When Alec finally remembered that it was cold in England he finally noticed that the man was no longer laughing.

He wasn’t even smiling, his yellow eyes hiding tiny slits and body shaking. Alec put it down to the cold, retreating back into his room so he wouldn’t have to make nice with a drunk stranger.

As soon as his door closed he heard feet scrambling up and pounding to the room Ragnor had told him not to choose.

At least Alec knew who was the messy one now. 

He didn’t expect Ragnor to be up at his usual time the next morning, which was why Alec let himself sleep in a little longer. Yet, when he got downstairs, glamouring his wings beforehand, he was surprised to hear voices from the kitchen at this still early hour.

“It was him. It was Will. But he was- he was all, and. Ragnor I think I saw an angel.”

There was a snort, a female this time asking, “An angel, Magnus? Really?”

“You didn’t see him. He-”

Alec walked in finding three of the four inside holding their heads and looking far too sleepy to be listening to the animated fourth. Magnus, the glittery man with the cat eyes, looked almost manic as Ragnor dragged him down into his chair.

“Good morning Alec,” Ragnor said, as usual, going back to holding his head.

“Morning.” He didn’t know warlocks could get drunk. Or vampires. Thankfully the windows had been fitted to keep out the sunlight long before Alec had moved in, which meant Raphael wasn’t a pile of ash right now. That didn’t mean he wasn’t sensitive to the little light that was present, a pair of sunglasses hiding his eyes from sight. “I was thinking of practicing outside today, so,” he didn’t know how to say he didn’t need to be bothered without sounding rude.

Ragnor understood anyway, and looked pretty thankful for it as he conjured another plate of toast and jam for Alec. “As soon as the room stops spinning I’m going back to bed.”

“You should be lucky you can,” The girl, Alec was guessing Catarina from the yells for an encore last night. 

“It’s not our fault you decided to get a job,” Ragnor huffed. “Or that you thought you shouldn’t take a few days off.”

“It’s practically afternoon at home. I’ve had my day off.”

He ate his toast quietly, all too aware of the staring match Magnus was trying to have with him. Also that Raphael might not be as awake as Alec thought he had been. A small snore agreed with that assessment.

A short jostle as Catarina reached for the milk had Raphael choking awake and Ragnor adamant that they all try and forget they existed for a while. 

Alec washed up, disappearing as soon as he was able.

Without Ragnor there to conjure up targets Alec had to think up more inventive ways to keep himself occupied. It was rather hard. He hadn’t realised before how monotonous his former training at the Institute had been. Sighing, he went to fetch some rope from the back of the house, attaching it to a rake and putting the target on the other end.

It wasn’t the best for practicing sudden targets, but it would do. 

At least until a sudden bullseye flew towards him. Reacting without thinking he shot it down, then the other that flew towards him after that. 

He didn’t know how many there were, just that there was a lot and they were faster than Ragnor’s. 

They stopped, Alec hearing a clap behind him, Magnus Bane, eyes glamoured this time, striding towards him.

“Very impressive,” he purred, and if Alec hadn’t seen him drunk and manic he probably would have swooned at the once over Magnus gave him. It was still close, but Alec was able to resist. 

“Mr Bane,” Alec greeted.

“Magnus, please,” he insisted, coming to stand next to Alec. He looked over the targets, Alec using the break to catch his breath. Were all Ragnor’s friends this intense? He knew Raphael was. In a different way. Catarina too, the brief moment he’d been in her presence. “And you? What do I call you?”

“Alec,” he debated holding his hand out for a moment, but, he didn’t know if he’d be able to handle shaking hands with Magnus just yet. God knows what would happen to him, he couldn’t even hold eye contact. “But, I’m sure Raphael already told you that.”

Magnus nodded, lips pursing slightly, “Alexander Gideon Lightwood if he’s to be believed. Which begs the question,” Alec felt those eyes on him again, “Where on earth are your runes?”

“I-” He should have painted them on. He’d known Raphael would be here and he’d completely forgotten to paint them on. Years of doing so had been thrown out the window after a few scarce months in the English countryside. What the hell was wrong with him? “I have them under my clothes,” he thought fast.

That got him a leer, Magnus standing on his toes like that would grant him a look under Alec’s collar. “Can I see?”

He felt his face heating, “I’d rather you didn’t.” he stopped himself from pulling his collar up. It covered enough. It was practically on his chin. 

Surprisingly Magnus didn’t press the issue. Instead he went to the nearest target, fetching one of Alec’s arrows. “Did you make these yourself?” Magnus asked, a sway to his step as he came back over.

Alec nodded.

Surprise registered in those wrong brown eyes. “They’re rather good. I didn’t think shadowhunters made their own weapons anymore. Don’t the Iron Sisters do that for you?”

“They do.” But he couldn’t use the weapons they forged. Also, “It er gets kind of boring here sometimes. So long as I don’t break any branches off the trees Ragnor doesn’t mind me making them.”

Magnus held it up, smartly keeping the tip pointed away from his eye. His weird brown eye. “You’ll have to make me some. I could do with a few warlock safe weapons in the house.”

“Sure.”

“Speaking of houses,” He did another circle of Alec, those eyes certainly suiting his personality. Magnus was a hunter, patient. He’d get what he wanted out of Alec one way or another. “What exactly is a Lightwood doing at my dear, dear friends house?”

That Alec could answer. “I don’t know.”

Magnus must have been able to tell he was telling the truth, his glamour dropping for a moment before repeating, “You don’t know?”

He shook his head, “My mom just said I was coming here. I think Ragnor knows though. Maybe you should ask him.” He left, quickly, going to gather his arrows and scurrying into the house before Magnus thought of something else to ask. 

The others were awake when he got in. Well, Raphael and Ragnor, Catarina had left for her job by the looks of things. Their hangovers seemed to have gone too, the sunglasses Raphael had been wearing now on top of his head as he blearily searched for something Ragnor had set him off for.

“Magnus scared you already Alec?” Ragnor asked. 

“He- I’m not-” It wasn’t like that.

“He’s a pussy cat beneath it all. Just a little protective. I’m sorry, anyway, if he’s said something uncouth.”

Raphael snorted, Alec ignoring the long look the vampire gave him in favour of going upstairs again. He still heard the sniggers when they came, and wondered, briefly, if they were about him.

He ended up phoning home, trying Jace, then Izzy, then Izzy again when none of them answered. He tried not to worry. They were probably in a meeting. Or, working. Not everyone had hours to waste like Alec did.

He sighed, finger hovering over  _ mom _ before tossing his phone aside. He wasn’t giving in first. 

Ragnor’s guests stayed until nightfall. Alec listened from his room as they talked and laughed, another bottle of something opening before the swish of a portal marked their departure. 

“Hungry?” Ragnor called up a while after.

Alec came to the top of the stairs, “A little.” He hadn’t exactly come in for lunch.

They had something simple, and when dinner was done Alec was taught a number of swear words in a very old language as Ragnor went to check his wine cellar and found a few bottles missing. “Every time,” Ragnor huffed, tossing the chains back in their cupboard. “Remind me Alec, remind me, we’re setting bear traps next time. I’m catching that man in the act if it’s the last thing I do.”

For all his glitter, Magnus Bane was a wily creature. One Alec hoped not to run into for a while. Namely because he didn’t like what his heart did around the man. It was one thing for his body to react to a well dressed vampire, he was young, he didn’t have many people to ogle outside of his inner circle and Raphael was safe. It was never going to happen. But the tingles? The loss of words? He didn’t like that. He didn’t like feeling out of control and Magnus definitely made him feel that. 

He convinced himself later, sitting alone in his room, that it was just like with Jace, just like with Raphael. Magnus was attractive, and Alec hadn’t been exposed to many guys in his life. Many guys around his age that was, or, looked his age. It was just the shock of it. The potential his mind conjured. It-

It was okay, he told himself.

Izzy had said it was okay. Mundanes thought it was okay. He could- he could admit to himself at least that he liked guys. It wasn’t a big deal. Not here-

Urgh.

The problem of boys had him mopey the next few days. He wanted to talk to Izzy about it, but whenever he called she didn’t pick up and after a while he felt like what he wanted to talk about just wasn’t that important because it wasn’t. Izzy was hunting demons. She was saving the world. Why should she have time to listen to his pathetic crisis when she’d already said her piece?

Talking to anyone else was out of the question too. Jace, well, Alec didn’t even want to think about talking with Jace about this. Just seeing him through a phone had Alec wishing things were different. That, maybe, one day Jace would get curious enough to ask Alec what it was like. If it was any different with a guy. If Alec would mind keeping it quiet and the two of them just-

No. Not Jace.

But there was no one else without Jace. Max was too young, and talking to his parents was out of the question.

He sighed, curling his wing even further over himself as he lay on the bank near the river. 

Maybe he should just become a hermit. Avoid boys and life in general and get a home like Ragnor somewhere quiet. Somewhere no one could bother him. 

A throat cleared behind him, Alec peeking his head out to see Ragnor arching a brow at him. “You have a package.”

“I do?” He’d never given anyone his address. If he did Alec wasn’t even sure it would reach Ragnor’s home. The letters he got were mailed to the post office in the village twenty minutes away and, apparently, that was a long way for English people so it was very rare that Ragnor even bothered to get the post unless he was expecting a letter from Raphael.

Yet there Ragnor was, holding something out to him. It was long, rectangular and only a little heavy. He kept waiting for it to be taken from him, for it to be checked in case it was dangerous. But Ragnor didn’t take it, just looked at it in an oddly resigned way. 

Carefully, Alec peeled back the wrapping paper, the box beneath easily opening until Alec was looking at “A sword?”

Mundane made it was still rather beautiful. There were etchings along the blade, as well as on the pommel. Silver, not gold and nicely weighted. 

“I fear Magnus has taken a liking to you,” Ragnor sighed. “He asked me before he left what kind of weapons you’ve trained with. I think it’s his way of saying sorry.”

“Sorry?” He hadn’t done anything to be sorry for. “What do you mean a liking?”

Ragnor pursed his lips a moment before confessing, “You look a little like one of his old friends. It was bound to happen at one point, I’m merely surprised it’s taken this long.”

Alec set the sword down carefully, “When you say one of his old friends…”

“Your Lightwood genes I’m afraid,” Ragnor sighed. “Even your sister looks a little like Cecily.”

He was a relieved, for a moment. Then, “But I’m not a Lightwood.” He felt sick finally saying it out loud but it was true. He was a Trueblood if anything, but not a Lightwood. Never had been. 

Ragnor paused a moment before sitting slowly next to him. “I suppose you’re not,” he started with, Alec turning so his wings shielded the worst of the wind from them. “Not by blood anyway. But by looks, anyone would think you were Robert’s. Even he thinks so.” Otherwise he probably wouldn’t have kept Alec this long went unsaid, but true, between them. “There are a number of theories as to why this might be. The first of which is that because the demon took Robert’s likeness during your conception he passed the traits of his likeness onto you.” 

Which kind of made sense.

“The other theory is that you were already somewhat conceived that night the demon came. It doesn’t make scientific sense, but, we’re talking magic here. The demon’s…” Here Ragnor left blank, and Alec was thankful for that, he didn’t particularly like imagining his conception. “Could have overpowered the one that was already there. You were already there, all the demon did was wipe away whatever might have made you a true shadowhunter.”

Alec thought he liked the first one better.

“The last theory is that the demon did it purposefully. I told you I would not tell you your parents name unless I was certain. But one thing is for certain in that it was a malicious attack. The demon wanted to spread chaos amongst your mother and her friends and that it certainly achieved. Siring you in Robert’s image was its last act of revenge. You aren’t Robert’s but it made you look enough like his own that…”

“That it hurt them every time they looked at me,” Alec finished. Yeah, that certainly sounded like something a demon would do. He brought his knees up, eyes on the sword that Magnus had thought to gift him. Was it really an apology? Or was it something else? A taunt? A test? He was probably waiting to see what Alec would do with it. Whether he would strike Ragnor with it. A sword was more final than a bow. “Can you thank Magnus for me? He may not have known but, it’s probably the only kind of blade I can train with.” 

He’d had to use wooden ones at the Institute. Mundane ones after that. He always got picked on by the other kids when they came to visit, asking if a seraph was too difficult for him. Even Jace found it funny. He didn’t know Maryse had forbidden Alec from ever touching anything with angelic runes in case it blew his cover.

Well, not anything, Robert used a stele on him sometimes after all. But never in public. 

“Do you want me to deliver any more messages?” Ragnor asked.

Alec shook his head. They didn’t want to know so he wouldn’t tell them. 

He curled back up under his wing as soon as Ragnor left, glad, at least, it was good for something.

He fell asleep there, waking when it was dark to find a blanket had made its way into his cocoon.

Conjuring was difficult to master. Then Ragnor said he’d never truly be able to master it because there were always things no one had conjured yet which made the whole thing unmastered. Much like the rest of magic.

Nevertheless, once Ragnor had gotten him to a somewhat decent standard, able to pop his own breakfast into existence, he thought them fit to move onto something else. 

Namely, potions.

“It’s a handy thing to learn, and you don’t need innate talent to master the basics.” 

So Alec was given even more theory books and found himself spending more time outside because of it. 

Potion making was actually kind of interesting. The books Ragnor had on it showed plants and objects that he could find literally in Ragnor’s back garden and it was interesting to read up on their medicinal or volatile properties. If he’d known that lavender could be used to cure stomach aches he would have bet he’d have made Izzy’s adolescence a little easier. 

Oh. Well. So long as he used it in moderation. Apparently repeated prescriptions on a too often basis could lead to external bleeding. Izzy bled enough without adding even more of it to the mix from a dodgy potion.

He ended up buying a journal when simply reading wasn’t cutting it. He needed notes. Organised notes, not the kind that were found in Ragnor’s books. He wanted to be able to open up one of them and find what he was looking for, not twenty. So he holed himself up in the garden, taking great care to sketch, and then ask Ragnor to sketch the root or flower he’d found that day before finding whatever he could on it and noting it down.

“This way if we’re in trouble I won’t waste time,” he told Ragnor. He could just grab a daisy and dump it in a potion instead of running around for ten minutes.

Ragnor thought it was a grand idea. “Every warlock needs his own grimoire,” he said. 

Alec didn’t think it was a grimoire. He’d got the book for less than, what was it over here, a pound? If he did ever make a grimoire, it wouldn’t have sparkly cats on it.

Cats with eyes he’d coloured in yellow when the pale blue started to annoy him.

The first potion Ragnor, eventually, had Alec make was one meant to heal minor injuries. “I was going to teach you how to put people to sleep, but, those kinds of potions can often leave someone dead if not brewed correctly.”

God.

It was long, putrid work, longer than Alec thought it would be too. At the end of it he hadn’t even brewed it correctly, but he’d brewed something which, according to Ragnor, was always a good start. They tried again the next day.

As confused as he was about the gift Alec found himself training with the sword in his afternoons. It was nice, it felt familiar, the forms and footwork he’d trained in most of his life giving him a sense of comfort he just didn’t find in magic yet. It also helped keep him in shape. After the first ten minutes of going through forms he realised he hadn’t trained, hadn’t trained properly that was, for months. 

Ragnor said he felt tired just watching Alec do push ups, yet still he sat outside, in the frosty English weather, and shouted encouragement. 

He was sitting on Alec’s feet as he did sit ups when a flare of magic registered. Ragnor didn’t look alarmed, which meant it was someone he knew. Alec glamoured his wings before he sat up next, glad he did when Magnus Bane walked over to them a few minutes later.

“I thought you stopped working out in the sixties,” Magnus greeted.

“Ha ha,” Ragnor drawled, still not letting go of Alec’s feet. “What’s it this time then? Has Camille sent you another letter? Your cat needs a new collar?” There was worry there for all of his scorn.

Magnus seemed to know so too since he didn’t take the barbs to heart. “No. I just thought I’d pop in on an old friend.”

Ragnor sent him a look, Alec finishing the last of his set. “Well welcome I suppose. How long are you staying?”

Magnus shrugged, Ragnor leading him back inside sending Alec a pointed look behind him. Right. Wine cellar.

He chained the whole thing up as quietly as he could, and while he was proficient in levitation and conjuring now, he didn’t have a clue about wards so, nothing he could do there he supposed. Magnus was sitting comfortably when Alec got back up. Drink in hand, shirt a little lower than it had been outside, he looked quite at home. More comfortable than Alec felt some days actually. 

“You aren’t doing any more sit ups are you?” Magnus asked before Alec could escape. “If you are, I think Ragnor’s a little busy. But I’m more than happy to hold your feet for you.”

He shook his head, leaving. 

It was awkward having Magnus around. It was one thing for him to be there for Raphael’s birthday, for there to be other people and noise enough that Alec could escape them. But Magnus, alone? He took up Ragnor’s time, meaning when Ragnor came to check up on Alec napping outside again, Magnus was there too.

“Let me guess, Nephilim have a heating rune now too,” Magnus grinned.

Alec honestly didn’t know. His siblings ran hot, and had never thought to look since, well, he was never going to use runes. It wasn’t like Alec needed one either, his wings were more than enough to keep him warm, and with the hard earth working better at keeping the crick out his neck than his pillow these days he found himself napping between his studies a lot. 

His wings were invisible however, so Alec shrugged and left it at that.

Ragnor saved him from saying anything further. “We’re getting Thai tonight, any requests?”

He shook his head, “Whatever you get will be fine thank you.” He liked mostly everything Ragnor got. Except if it was spicy. He could handle a little, but too much and he wished he’d never be able to taste things again.

It was all part of Alec’s ‘tutoring’ anyway. Expanding his horizons and all that, meaning food from somewhere new every night. 

“You’ve surely worked some miracles here Ragnor. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a nephilim thank one of our kind before,” Magnus said. 

Ah. So that was why he was here. Alec should have expected it after the gift. 

“Yes well,” Ragnor sighed before Alec could snap back, “A lot of things have changed haven’t they.” He took Magnus’s arm, “I’ll call you in when it’s ready Alec.”

He huddled back under his wing for a few hours more, all too aware of the beady yellow eyes that crept out to stare at him from the treeline.

He didn’t sleep anymore, his glamour sometimes blipped when he did so. Instead he finished jotting down the offensive properties of holly.

Thai was good. Even if the conversation was Magnus doing his best to suss out just why Ragnor had Alec here. Ragnor was pretty good at holding his own. He deflected the conversation onto other things, usually Magnus’s clients, or the many strays that apparently litter his home. Magnus was the kind of person that liked to talk about himself, but, like Ragnor, seemed to have a flair for avoiding getting too deep into description. At least while Alec was present. 

They talked around and around in circles until the food was gone, and even then Magnus hopped up almost as fast as Alec and followed him without making it too obvious to the fire that was always on in these cold halls. 

“I’m just saying, maybe you should have a no weapons in the house rule. You never know what kind of accidents can occur when sharp things are left all over willy nilly,” Magnus said, dropping into the chair nearest the fire. He seemed to look mightily satisfied with himself, taking the best, or at least the warmest, chair in the room.

Little did he know Alec only had one chair he could sit comfortably on in here and that was already in Alec’s spot. He didn’t think disappearing to his room would work tonight. Magnus seemed adamant in following him, and Alec would prefer not being startled should the man decide to surprise him. So he took his seat, got his notebook out and set to looking up other roots that could be lurking on Ragnor’s land. 

There were a few things pointedly said for Alec’s benefit. “What other exercises are you doing these days?” “You’re not thinking of taking up sparring again are you?” “Where exactly does the Nephilim sharpen that sword I gave him?” But, once he realised Alec wasn’t rising to his bait, he quickly switched to pestering Ragnor. 

Namely plying his friend with enough drinks that he could safely apply nail varnish to his horns. “Don’t do them a funny colour,” Ragnor slurred.

“There are no funny colours with you my friend.” Except maybe neon pink that Magnus was eagerly candy striping on one of his horns. He finished with them, leaning far back enough to catch Alec’s eye, “I don’t suppose you’d let me do yours as well? Or is that too much for you?”

Magnus seemed to have a thing about Alec touching or doing something he’d previously touch or done. It was like he was waiting for Alec to, he didn’t even know, refuse? Smash it? Stab him over it?

He looked at his nails, bitten down from years of stress. “Do you have any other colours?” There would be no one but Ragnor around to comment on them, and Ragnor had already proven he was alright with men wearing nail polish. Still, even when he’d let Izzy do his nails, he’d made sure they weren’t neon pink. Baby pink, maybe, but neon was pushing it. 

“I… do,” Magnus said, frown on his face as he snapped a rainbow of nail polishes onto Ragnor’s table. “Take your pick.”

He stood up carefully, well aware that he’d slacked in his cover since living with Ragnor. He’d gotten used to sitting down and up in a way that anyone else would call awkward. With Magnus around it took him a minute to remember how he usually got up from a chair. Hands on knee, don’t take too long, make sure his wings didn’t knock anything on the way up.

He rifled through the colours Magnus had conjured until he came upon a glittery yellow. He sat down, making sure he didn’t accidentally catch one of his feathers and held his hand pointedly over to Magnus.

His move.

Magnus slid down to the floor, placing Alec’s hand on his thigh. It was warm, the material thin Alec was guessing, and smooth under his fingers. He could feel Magnus watching, waiting for Alec to react, to do whatever it was he was expecting from Alec.

When Alec didn’t, he slowly arranged Alec’s fingers and started painting them. 

Alec realised after a moment he’d chosen the same shade as Magnus’s eyes. They really were an enchanting colour. The rest of the man Alec wasn’t so sure on, but his eyes? Those were something else. 

They weren’t out now, glamoured like they had been since he’d arrived. But Alec remembered. He remembered them, seared as they were into his memory. 

The brown was nice too however. He’d chosen a colour that certainly complimented his face. It highlighted his sparkly eyeshadow too. 

“Why do you keep them hidden here?” Alec heard himself ask.

Brown eyes met his briefly before Magnus near stabbed Alec’s hand on his next stroke with the brush. “I think you can guess.”

“Me?” What would Alec being here have to do with Magnus keeping his eyes hidden? “But this is Ragnor’s home. You’re his friend. Why do you care what I think?”

Magnus pursed his lips, not even looking as he moved onto Alec’s next finger. In a blink the brown was gone and yellow replaced it, just as lovely, just as predatory as before. “I guess I don’t.”

He finished, holding his hand out for Alec’s other. 

Well versed in how nail polish worked Alec did his best to blow and shake his hand dry, getting an odd look for it as he did so.

“I have a sister,” Alec explained.

Magnus’s forehead crinkled. 

“Her name is Isabelle.” Since Magnus was certainly trying to think if he’d seen her or not. He probably had, she frequented not only outside but downworld establishments as well. Whether he knew she was his sister was another matter however. “She’s two years younger than me. Prettier by far. She’s always getting herself into trouble because of it, but, I guess, it helps her get out of trouble too.” Jace managed to use his own good looks like that as well.

Magnus made a little snort, but didn’t interrupt as Alec went on about his little sister.

“I think she goes to that club. The Pande- something. She met a few seelies there last time. I think one is taking her out. Or, I guess he’s already taken her out.” She’d probably dumped him by now actually. “She used to do my nails anyway, when mom and dad went away. She didn’t want to practice on her own nails because she wanted them to be perfect so she used to do mine instead. She tried to do Jace’s one time but Jace didn’t really know her that well then so.” He also put up such a fuss about not looking like a girl that she ended up crying in her room for the next half hour until Alec said she could redo his. He was very stuck in what he’d been taught and, if Alec hadn’t been so soft, he probably would have took Jace’s lead. It certainly would have saved his dad from scraping his nails clean whenever he found Alec with it on.

He shook his other hand out, realising between the first and second shake that he’d basically been rambling about something Magnus didn’t even want to know about for who knew how long. 

“Thanks,” he said, moving back to his chair, grabbing his notebook carefully so his nails wouldn’t smudge. Getting it off skin was a nightmare. “I er, I’m gonna go to bed. Do you want help bringing Ragnor up before or…?”

Magnus shook his head before Alec finished, “I can get our dear little cabbage tucked away. You just,” he made a shooing motion.

He settled in for another night struggling with his pillow. 

Somehow, Alec didn’t know how, but somehow he knew, through the night, when Ragnor had well and truly passed out Magnus had snuck downstairs and stole some wine. It was just a feeling Alec had. 

That, and he went down the next morning to find Magnus with three bottles of wine in front of him and Ragnor pulling a fourth out of some kind of bottomless bag.

“Really?” Ragnor shook his head, setting the bottle with the others. “Do you even drink them? You hate wine.”

“I don’t hate it,” Magnus pouted. “I just find the taste a little mundane. We’ve been drinking it for most of our immortal lives Ragnor.”

“Hmmm.” 

Alec cleared his throat, “I er, I put the chains up.”

Ragnor waved him off, “My fault, not yours Alec.” He conjured up some toast, setting it down on the seat that wasn’t currently housing Magnus’s stealing sack. “Come on, fess up, what are you using it for?”

“Dating,” Magnus said easily.

Ragnor flicked Magnus on the ear.

“Ow, fine.” He saved his ears, “I may be plying the seelies with it. But, in my defence, they’re my main source of pixie wings. What am I supposed to do without my contact Ragnor? Just wait around for them to shed? Do you know how long that would take? Not to mention how little I would get for my time.”

Ragnor wasn’t hearing it. If Magnus had been just a few hundred years younger Alec would have bet he’d be sent to his room. 

He wasn’t. It was close, but he wasn’t. 

Instead Magnus was forced to phone up his seelie contact and explain he would no longer be buying pixie wings from them. “You can use my supplier for Gods sake,” Ragnor huffed when Magnus sent more sad eyes at him. “But I will not encourage stealing.”

Magnus was put under watch. Something he appeared to enjoy since he got Ragnor’s undivided attention. Thus was the rest of his visit. 

Alec didn’t mind. It was rather like having a break, and with Magnus occupied it meant he wasn’t constantly watching Alec. So, when it came to training, practicing his forms, doing his sets and shooting until his arms ached he didn’t have to worry about being judged. He hated being judged. All his life he’d been waiting for someone to point out the wrong shift in his gait, or the distance he kept to his allies in a fight. Magnus wasn’t here to spot those things necessarily, but years of worrying about the same things every time he’d been watched before was hard to forget. Just because Alec knew Magus wasn’t part of the Clave didn’t stop his body from monitoring his every move. 

Besides, it was nice seeing Ragnor enjoy himself. He just appeared lonely when it was him and Alec. These days Alec didn’t keep his distance on purpose, he just, didn’t know how to approach the man. What did he even talk to a who knew how old warlock about? His childhood? It had probably been bad like most warlock children’s. Did Alec ask about his time at the Academy? Did he want to know what had happened that had caused Ragnor to lose his position there? Did he ask about his paintings, his travels, his friends or were they all topics that Ragnor would rather not share with Alec?

Yes, sure, Ragnor had spilled things here and there about his friends. But Magnus, clearly, wasn’t happy with Alec knowing the finer details of his life and why wouldn’t he? Alec was a Lightwood, or a Trueblood or something that came from centuries of Downworld hating shadowhunters. Just because Ragnor was willing to share tidbits of other people’s lives didn’t mean Alec should ask. 

So, yeah, it was nice to see someone else make the man happy. God knows Alec didn’t know how to. 

But Magnus had to go at some point. Which he did with a handful of pixie wings and a promise to be back before the year was out.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Ragnor said, hugging his old friend goodbye.

Alec believed it. He definitely believed Magnus would be back. Just the look he shot Alec over Ragnor’s shoulder told Alec he’d find some other excuse to come around whether Ragnor knew it or not.

“Goodbye shadowhunter,” Magnus waved, voice airy even as his eyes plotted.

“Bye.”

Things went back to normal.

Or, as normal as they can get when someone was learning magic.

The months seemed to pass once more in one quick blur. It felt like one moment he was learning how to create a potion to change a person’s hair colour and the next he was looking up the best way to heal a leg fracture.

Slow going, really. But he was learning, and the things he was learning he couldn’t believe his parents had tried to keep him away from it until now. Did they not understand the benefits of Alec learning potion making? Could they not see how easier their lives would have been if they’d had him taught properly from a young age? He could have been brewing potions in private, providing vials that could stop someone from bleeding out or heal a broken arm. He could have saved them time and lives by putting a potion in their hands instead of letting them call the Silent Brothers. He could have saved them money, at the very least and every time Alec learned more about what he could be capable of he got angrier.

“Here,” Ragnor handed him a cup of cocoa, the two of them inside for a change as the rain fell outside. “Have you spoke to your family?”

His siblings Ragnor meant. “No. Why?” Had something happened? He kept his phone on him at all times, and the wards didn’t stop the calls from coming. As far as he knew no one had called him, and they would call him if something had happened.

Right?

“It’s your birthday isn’t it?” Ragnor asked. “September?”

He pulled his phone out and checked the calendar. Then checked the one Ragor kept on the wall. The happy September unicorn stared back, the green circle sure enough circled around the twelfth. He’d barely turned twenty when he was sent here. 

“I’m sure they’re busy,” Ragnor consoled.

Alec nodded, stuffing his phone away. “Yeah. Me too.” 

He paced his room after lunch, periodically checking the time and counting backwards. Izzy was probably hungover. Jace too now that he thought about it. They were sleeping in, it was certainly early enough to do so. They hadn’t forgotten.

He paced some more.

Then a while longer. 

Eventually he tried napping, but since the weather outside was actually flooding the grounds he settled for the rug in front of Ragnor’s fire. He kept the phone near his head while he did so, ringer on so he wouldn’t miss the vibration if he kept it in his pocket.

He didn’t know how long he was out. Just that when he woke, his phone was ringing and the throw Ragnor liked to drape over Alec’s toes sometimes had found its way between his wings. 

“Hello?” 

“Alec!” 

He was grinning like a maniac, his chest going tight. It had been too long since he’d heard that voice.“ Max. Is that you? You sound so grown up what’s going on?”

“It is me and I sound the same as I always have. Happy Birthday by the way, I got you a new quiver.”

“You got me a quiver?” Alec repeated. “With what money? Last I heard you got cut off because you decided to tie all of dads shoes to the cat.”

“That was months ago Alec.” 

Not to him it wasn’t. To Alec any news he got off his family was the most recent thing he knew about them. But he kept that to himself, focusing instead on his little brother’s voice. “I miss you.”

There was a hum on the other end, Max forcing out, “I guess I miss you too.”

Alec let out a laugh. “How are your studies? Tell me everything.”

Max did, regaling Alec with everything he’d learned travelling around the Institutes. For some reason their parents short meetings to Idris had resulted in Max getting a proper shadowhunter education. By that Alec meant him being passed around Institute to Institute depending on where his next tutor was. It was nothing like Alec’s own schooling. Or even Izzy and Jace’s. The three of them had stayed in New York and only saw the other shadowhunters their own age whenever their own studies brought them Alec’s way.

“Sounds fun,” Alec said when Max finished. “And you made lots of friends, which is good.”

“God you sound like Izzy. I’m eleven Alec, I’m not a baby.”

“What? ‘Course you are. You’re my  _ baby  _ brother,” he stressed

He got a stilted laugh for that. 

“So where are you now? Is mom with you?” If she was, there was no way she could weasel out of talking to him. 

Yet, “No. Her and dad are back home. Speaking of, if you don’t get your present blame Izzy. I told her to send it and she promised she would.”

“I will.” Home. Right. 

He let Max fill him in on the rest of his adventures. The trouble he was getting himself into. The new runes and weapons he was learning about. He let Max talk until Alec felt all caught up and let him go with a small ‘I love you,’ glad, at least, he had an answer as to why Max hadn’t spoken to him. If he’d been travelling and learning he wouldn’t have had time to think about Alec. Even if he had only one of his friends had a cell, and that had only been bought a few days ago for the boys own birthday. 

Even if Max hadn’t called him anyway he wouldn’t have minded because Max was eleven. He was a kid. It wasn’t up to him to make the call, and if he’d had a cell of his own Alec would have made the first step every time. Max wasn’t the problem.

He set the phone down, wondering if he should call Izzy or let her call him. She hadn’t forgotten. He knew she wouldn’t have, which meant if he waited she would call. Which she did a few hours later.

It was four in the afternoon for her, and way into the night for him, which meant he had to be a little quieter as he closed the door to his room.

She was indeed sending him Max’s quiver, along with a few clothes she’d picked out in case any English boys took his fancy. “Jace got you,” she leaned back in her seat, the hustle and bustle of the Institute more easily seen now she wasn’t hogging the whole frame. “What did you get him again?”

“Is that Alec?” he heard before Jace’s face was popping up next to Izzy’s. “There’s the birthday boy. Ragnor get you anything special?”

Alec shrugged, “I don’t think warlocks celebrate minor birthdays.” The big ones were a century, five hundred, a thousand, otherwise Alec was sure Magnus and the others would have been around again for Ragnor’s birthday, or him going for theirs. “I don’t mind, I just wanted to talk to you guys anyway.”

He got a few aw’s for that.

“Are you on monitor duty?” he asked before they could start on just why he needed to get back for a special twenty first party. He could see Izzy itching to ask him. 

The pair of them shared a look, which meant yes, even as Jace said, “Not exactly.”

“What exactly then?”

Izzy pulled a face, leaving Jace to say, “We were asking if you could come visit for your birthday.”

“Yeah,” Izzy added on, “Then mom totally flipped. She was all like, he has studies to do, you only want him here for a party. And like, yeah, okay, maybe I want to throw a party, but you’re twenty one, it’s a big deal, and that’s not the only reason I want to see you.”

“She was being really weird,” Jace agreed. “She actually tried to send me to my room like I was twelve, and when I wouldn’t she put us both on monitor duty so we couldn’t even call you until she was out the room.”

That was weird. Maryse loved Jace like he was the son she always wanted. Talented, charming, a shadowhunter, and not one that had been born because she couldn’t keep her marriage together. For her to snap at Jace of all people meant there was something going on, and Alec wasn’t going to lie and say it didn’t hurt she’d actively tried to keep him away from his siblings. 

“She’s getting worse, I swear,” Izzy shook her head. “Anyway, enough about mom, what’s life like over there?”

Alec shrugged, “Nothing different really.”

“Seriously?” 

They both expected him to be having these wild adventures. Going on demon raids and infiltrating warlock dens. But, “I’m here to study, like, really study. The most I do every day is read.”

“Is it fun reading?” Jace tried.

Alec pursed his lips. It was fun to him, he supposed, and he was sure if he was allowed to tell them what he was learning they’d find it somewhat interesting too. But, “No. Not really.”

Jace shook his head, “I don’t understand why you’re even there. I mean, you finished your training, and just because you were always on the monitors doesn’t mean you were any less a shadowhunter. What could possibly be so important that she wants you gone? Did you do something? Is Ragnor keeping you there against your will? Is this some kind of warlock bargain?”

“What-?” Although, he had heard of some warlocks taking people into servitude before, so he supposed it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility for Jace to be worried about that. “No. I’m fine. I’m just studying.”

Izzy gave him a worried look. “Alec… mom’s not making you become a Silent Brother, is she?”

He’d never even thought of that, immediately shaking his head. “No.” God what did mom even tell them about him? “No. I’m just here looking up demon stuff. She probably figured Ragnor would be better than the Silent Brothers because warlocks can actually summon demons. I don’t know.”

She didn’t look convinced.

Thinking quickly, and knowing he was going to kick himself later for it, Alec suggested, “Hey, I know I’m not there, but you can always go out if you want. You always celebrate enough for the two of us, no need to stop now.”

That got a little bit of a smile on their faces, “Oh yeah?” Jace asked, “You’re actually encouraging us?”

“You’re going to do it anyway. You may as well do it with my blessing.”

Izzy rolled her eyes, a real grin on her now as she said, “Fine,” like it was a huge favour she was doing Alec by going out dancing. “But we’re going to have to find a new club. Someone told the owner of Pandemonium that I’m underage so now I’m banned for two years.”

“That sucks,” Alec said.

“Tell me about it. Now how am I supposed to meet cute seelies?”

Jace squinted slightly, “Is this an actual question?”

He got hit in the arm, and for a moment Alec felt like he was right there with them. At least until a barked, “Jace! Isabelle!” cut through to him.

They both turned, Jace scampering back to his own monitor as Maryse stalked over.

“I thought I told you to cover upstate. This doesn’t look like upstate Isabelle.” His mom didn’t even look at him, but Alec knew she was aware he was there, watching her, waiting for her to look up, to acknowledge that he was alive and still here.

He couldn’t help the small, “Mom?” the slipped out and for a brief second she looked at him.

“Now Isabelle,” She snapped, turning her back on both of them.

Izzy looked thoroughly defeated when she looked back, “I-”

“I know,” Alec said, saying a quick ‘I love you’ before hanging up. As much as he would have liked to talk to her more, Isabelle had a job. One that saved lives even from the computer banks. 

He waited up half the night in case they would call again. Or, more accurately, if his mom would actually remember she had another son.

She didn’t.

It just made him angrier. 

“Does she talk to you?” Alec asked the next morning. “Does she even ask how I am?”

Ragnor fiddled with the edge of his teacup, the pair of them knowing she didn’t.

“I don’t get it. She kept me at home for twenty years. Why is she cutting me off now? Why- why isn’t she speaking to me? What could I have possibly done-”

“Alec.”

He stopped, rubbing at his face. All he wanted was a phone call. It didn’t have to be long, she could just be calling to tell him about Max or Jace or whatever was happening back home. She could be telling him about work stuff for all he cared so long as she actually phoned because if she phoned then she hadn’t forgotten about him. She wasn’t trying to- to- whatever this was.

Ragnor sighed, vanishing their breakfast and pulling Alec up and towards their usual study room. “Okay,” he sat them both down. “Trust me when I say I wasn’t keeping this from you for no reason. Warlocks have always had a strained relationship with their families and yours… I didn’t want you to say something in anger Alec.”

“Okay,” he’d been angry plenty and Ragnor hadn’t sat him down like this before. 

“What do you know about the Circle?” Ragnor asked.

“The Circle?” He shook his head, “Not much. The Clave doesn’t like teaching about their mistakes.” Something even the most loyal shadowhunter had learned over the years. “I know it was some kind of extremist group. They targeted Downworlders didn’t… they…?” 

Oh. He could take a guess where this was going. It all made sense. Ragnor had said it was in revenge that the demon had targeted his mom. Alec had never thought to question revenge for what. They were demon hunters. It stood to reason she’d probably crossed the demon, or some of its underlings, once and it wanted to get her back for it. He… he’d never thought that it was more personal. That, maybe, the demon had targeted his mom because she killed, what, his kid? Kids? He knew some, higher level, demons were capable of thought and sound and feeling. That they kept some of their angelic traits and were merely distorted from years of torture in whatever circle of hell they’d fallen to. He’d heard some demons cared for their children, talked to them, tried to guide them down a darker path, and those children would be warlock’s wouldn’t they. 

Downworlders.

“Let me guess,” Alec said into the silence, “Mom was part of the circle.” He wouldn’t put it past her. Even with Alec for a son she was no friend to Downworlders. She always spoke so distastefully of them. Much more than some people at the Institute. Alec could see why an organisation like the Circle would appeal to her. “But why is she at the Institute? I thought all the Circle members were executed.”

“Not all of them.” So he was right. Ragnor hadn’t tried to correct him. Mom had actively killed and hunted Downworlders. “Some exchanged their execution for information. Your mother gave names of many Circle members that might have slipped under the radar. As a result both your parents were confined to New York. Grounded, you might say.”

He curled a knee up, digging his nails into the skin there. “She must have hated me.”

“She loves you,” Ragnor said immediately. “Don’t doubt that Alec. I have no doubt you wouldn’t be alive if she didn’t love you. It was two years after you were born that the Circle was brought down you know.”

He didn’t. They’d never been taught it in their lessons. Two years however. That was a long time. Mom couldn’t have exactly showed him off to others either. She didn’t even contact Ragnor until he was, what, four? “Then why has she stopped speaking to me?”

“Do you remember the rumours I spoke about?” Ragnor asked. “Magnus, too, mentioned them.”

He nodded. “Mom said there were rumours too.” Rumours about what Alec didn’t rightly know.

Well, he hadn’t known, looked like he was going to find out. “Downworlders are going missing.”

“Missing?” Downworlders went missing all the time. They got into fights, ran away, some of them even killing themselves.

But, the way Ragnor was looking at him, it wasn’t ordinary missing he was talking about. “Warlocks, spread out as we are, do keep in contact. And vampires have their clans, werewolves their pack. We usually know before reporting a disappearance when someone is genuinely missing or not. These however… they’re more like kidnappings. Always from their homes, always with some kind of cover up.”

A cover up. Meaning they could tell something was wrong.

“It was like that before. Almost exactly the same.”

But, “Valentine is dead.” He was pretty sure he’d learned that in his history lessons. Valentine was dead, the threat to the Clave and the peace they were trying to create was dead. It was the only victory the Clave could actually cling to in this instance. 

“Apparently.”

“Apparently?” Alec repeated.

Ragnor gave him a long look, “The Clave isn’t always truthful Alec. Especially not to our people.”

Our. He was still getting used to that. “But, why would they lie about Valentine? They wanted him dead too. Right?”

Ragnor looked away. “I’m not sure. While the Clave has always spoke about Downworlder rights you can’t honestly sit there and tell me they don’t want us all dead.” Which, was actually a fair point. The things people said back home about Downworlders were awful. Most of the shadowhunters preferred not to even speak to Downworlders unless they had to. A lot of them, Alec knew, would purposefully go out of their way to antagonise them, provoke them into breaking the Accords so they would have an excuse to bring the guilty party in. “My theory is that the Clave would have been all too happy to let Valentine wipe us from the earth. The only problem was that we were proving more resilient than they thought and they couldn’t stand the idea of us winning.”

So they had to get their money on both sides, split their losses and still end up on top no matter who won.

Alec felt sick.

“So my mom used to be part of this thing, and now people are going missing. What does this have to do with not talking to me?”

Ragnor sighed, taking Alec’s hand, “Listen to me. Your mother loves you, I wholeheartedly believe she’s doing what she thinks is best for you. Which is why you must understand what will happen if the Circle is indeed reforming. Your mother will be under interrogation, under watch, meaning your family will be under watch. I know you miss her, but even you know what will happen if the Clave finds out the Lightwoods have a warlock in their family. The Circle had ears everywhere Alec.” Meaning their first target would probably be the family of the woman who sold half their members out for clemency. 

He rubbed his eyes, wrapping his head around this. God what was wrong with his family. How could- He didn’t even know how to finish that. 

“Why did she keep this from us? Why did both of them not tell us?” Since he didn’t think for a moment his dad was innocent either. Two years he’d been alive while mom was in the Circle. Meaning, they’d been together when this had all happened, and dad wasn’t one for just sitting back and letting things happen. He would have had his hands in Valentines plans too. Especially… especially if he saw his first born with wings.

“I suspect they were trying to protect you. However, you’re an adult Alec, and in these dark times you may be a target. It’s foolish to keep you in the dark anymore.”

“Thank you.” He didn’t even know what for. For telling him? For harbouring him? For being nice to him despite his mom being some genocidal maniac?

Ragnor let him escape upstairs and Alec was thankful for the peace. He didn’t know what to think. How to think. He was angry. He was still so angry. Even if he had an explanation he was still angry that he hadn’t known, that she hadn’t told him that she was cutting him off not because she didn’t care anymore but because she was scared for him. Just because he had answers it didn’t make what he went through magically go away was the point.

Then there was the Circle thing. The fact his mom had tried to kill his… his own kind he forced himself to think. What was she going to do with him if they’d won? Keep him hidden away? She’d already done that. But how was she supposed to hide him if she’d killed every other warlock that could teach him to glamour himself? How long did she think she could have hidden him when he got older, when he started attending meetings, when Valentine came to check on his mom.

He fell onto his bed, trying to imagine just what a Downworlder could have done to his mom to make her want to wipe them out. They were people for crying out loud. Yeah, some of them were bad, but so were shadowhunters, hell, she was one of those bad shadowhunters. Downworlders weren’t any better or any worse than shadowhunters. What, just because they had angel blood they thought they were ‘chosen’? No one had been ‘chosen’ since Jonathan Shadowhunter. Or, at least since the mortal cup had been stolen. Right now they were lucky. Just lucky. Lucky enough to have been born to shadowhunters.

No wonder that demon had targeted his mom.

He found himself moping about again. He didn’t know what was expected of him now. His mom wanted to keep him safe, so what did that entail? Did he spend the rest of his existence here? Did he learn all he could until she could be satisfied he could look after himself when he got back? 

He didn’t know. All he did know was that he’d already spent a year here and it didn’t look like things were getting any better.

“Birthday presents,” Ragnor called two weeks after Alec’s late night phone call with Izzy.

“Thank you.” There were several packages Ragnor levitated in, all of them exquisitely wrapped with little bows on top. Jace’s work for sure. Izzy was good at a lot of things, but unfortunately Lightwoods weren’t known for their wrapping techniques.

He found Max’s quiver first, happy that it didn’t appear to hold any angelic runes. It was smaller than his other, but unlike his other this one had a top that could be screwed on. Handy for when he didn’t want to stumble on a fallen arrow on his way to the bathroom. 

Izzy’s clothes were next, and Alec had to quickly hide a rainbow Jesus shirt with ‘Ah Men’ on top. He’d be texting just how little he cared for that gift mark his words.

The others were okay. A lot of button ups he would never use, too fancy as they were for lounging around a house all day every day.

He was surprised to see he still had a few more packages to go after he’d finished with Izzy’s. Then wasn’t when he found two of them had a few stacks of books. Jace’s present, it appeared, were books on parabatai’s and their runes. Wonderful.

Still, he had three left when he was finished. 

Grabbing the smallest one he was surprised when a ring box fell into his lap. There was a note inside, but Alec was more focused on the ring itself. Or, rings he supposed. The two had been crammed in there, the silver squashed together. One had an L, the other a T and both with the crests of those families.

The family rings. 

He grabbed the note, flipping it over to find five words scrawled in his dad’s handwriting.  _ I’m sorry. We miss you _ .

He could have used something like this sooner but, Alec wasn’t going to complain. They still cared. They really did want him. 

He wiped his eyes, setting the two rings down in front of him. It was a choice more than anything for Alec. Acceptance too. Trueblood and Lightwood. His dad was basically telling him he didn’t care, that Alec was still part of the family, but it was okay, as well, if Alec didn’t think so himself. 

Ragnor made an odd noise as he set a pot of tea between them, eyes on the rings too. “So that’s what Nephilim rings look like.”

“You’ve never seen one?” Alec held one out, Ragnor hesitating a moment before taking it.

“Not without it ending up in my face the next instant no.” That certainly put a few things in perspective. “It’s nice.” He handed it back.

“Yeah.” Alec put both of them back in their box, setting it aside in favour of the next package.

It was wrapped a little differently to the others. Still immaculate however, so Alec didn’t fear peeling the bow away. 

He should have. As soon as it was loose the box sprang open and spat out a horde of blue powder.

“Magnus!” Alec heard, still trying to register what had just happened. “I’ll kill him.”

It wasn’t just on Alec. The blue powder had splattered itself on the rug and even on the sofa next to him. “Is it dangerous?” Alec asked, trying to keep as still as he could.

“No,” Ragnor huffed. “Just annoying. His idea of a joke.”

Okay. 

Alec was still careful as he sat back up, waiting for burning or who knew what to start.

It didn’t and, surprisingly, when he looked the box wasn’t empty. He sent it over to Ragnor anyway in case there were any other pranks in store, using his empty hands to wipe the worst of the damp powder from his face.

“Nail polish,” Ragnor said, popping a few bottles onto the table. “Oh, my bottle of Rosé.” That joined the polish. “A calendar,” Which got an eye roll. From what Alec could see of it Magnus had took the liberty of taking photos of himself to fill every page. The last item got a grumble from Ragnor, the man brandishing a ticket, “One way back to New York. If you excuse me Alec I need to go yell at my friend for a few hours.”

Alec almost told him not to. At least wait until Alec had finished opening the rest of his presents, but Ragnor was gone and pretty quickly Alec heard the beginnings on birthday etiquette and expensive rugs.

He debated not even opening the last gift, but, it didn’t appear to bear the same wrapping as the last one. Just in case, he kept well out of reach and pulled the bow away. 

Nothing.

He opened the top.

Still nothing.

He crept over, peering inside the box. Well, it wasn’t another prank. Instead there was a crisp suit inside. He knew before holding it up it would fit perfectly, and since the cut was eerily familiar he felt his face heating before he noticed the small  _ Happy Birthday Nephilim _ Raphael had wrote.

Raphael Santiago had bought him a suit. Raphael knew it was his birthday. So did Magnus. 

He caught a slither of Ragnor as the man strolled from room to room, telling Magnus just what he thought of his colour choices. Had Ragnor told them it was Alec’s Birthday? Did he tell them to get him something?

He couldn’t think of why else they would go out of their way to send presents.

He was grateful, anyway, even if Magnus’s was a little spiteful. He understood, anyway, why Magnus was the way he was. Ragnor was a nice man, if Alec was Magnus he too would be wanting to get the son of a Circle member away from his friend. 

He folded the suit back up, placing it with the rest of his clothes and piled up his presents to take upstairs. The ticket he wished he could take too, but, he knew he wouldn’t be going back to New York until his mom said so. So he threw that in the fire. He contemplated throwing the calendar in too, but, well, Magnus had put so much effort into it, and Alec knew if the man came he’d be looking to see just what had happened to his calendar. After what Ragnor had went through, he saw the ways in which Magnus was trying to antagonise him now. How he’d asked if Alec wanted his nails painted, the surprise when Alec said yes. The blade he probably thought Alec would discard. 

Well, Alec wasn’t like the other shadowhunters, so he added it to the pile and, when he got to his room, pinned it on one of his walls. It was for next year, so until then Alec got a lovely photo of Magnus with a little tabby, a halo of light surrounding them both, to look at.

He asked Ragnor about the suit when he’d finally finished on the phone. Ragnor just shrugged, “He remembers you being nice to him.” Which didn’t make sense since Alec barely spoke to the guy. “He’s also not one to pass up opportunities, and most likely figures getting onto your good side will be beneficial to him in the future.”

Which made a little more sense.

The days went back to normal after that. Alec had another molting session, which meant Ragnor looking especially pleased as he followed Alec around with a sack. He finally progressed from potions to spells again. Beginner magic for sure, but a change of pace that was greatly appreciated as the cold weather set in once more.

“Hold still,” Ragnor bid him.

He tried to keep stiller, if that were possible, even if boredom was quickly setting in. “Can’t I just nap?”

Ragnor grumbled but said, “If you keep your wing out I suppose.”

He was sketching them, had been for a while, but Alec had only found them a few days ago. He’d agreed today to finally sit and let Ragnor detail them when another rainy day put Alec off from venturing outside. 

He lay down, spreading one wing out that was still a little messy as feathers continued to come off. 

He was woke with a swift, yet gentle, kick to the shin, listening to the pointedly loud, “Magnus!” that echoed through the house, “What on earth brings you here?”

Alec’s sleep drenched mind took a moment to remember how and why he had to glamour himself before the cat eyed prankster was strolling through Ragnor’s doorway, immediately zoning in on Alec.

“Thought I’d drop in,” Magnus said, allowing the hug Ragnor gave him. “I see your Nephilim is still here.”

“I told you Magnus, Alec is staying here for the foreseeable future.”

“Yes, of course,” his eyes didn’t leave Alec’s even as he appeared to be looking over the rest of the room and, or any changes that might have occurred, “One has to still wonder why though.” 

He finally looked away as he turned to his old friend.

“How are you? Raphael tells me you and Cat have been exchanging a few too many letters these days for it to be friendly. Am I finally hearing wedding bells on the horizon?”

Thus started the beginning of Magnus’s bi annual visit.

Drinks were poured, as they always were when Magnus was around and, unlike last time, Magnus actually had plans for when he was here.

“Obviously we’re going to dinner tomorrow,” Magnus said, swirling his own drink around, “Before that I was hoping we could go hiking.”

“Hiking?” Ragnor repeated, and, yeah, even Alec was a bit sceptical. Magnus looked like he enjoyed his comforts.

Magnus shot a look to Alec before muttering something low enough only Ragnor could hear. Whatever it was had Ragnor’s demeanor vastly changing, agreeing after a while that hiking would be a fun activity. “After that,” Magnus said, “Maybe a tour around London. I want to see how it’s changed.”

Ragnor nodded, “Alec hasn’t been to London. It’ll be good for him.”

Alec looked up, “I’m coming?”

“If you’d like to,” Ragnor agreed. “Honestly I should have been showing you around more than I have but,” well, tutoring and all that. “Well, we’ll get right on it. Maybe get a few souvenirs for your siblings. The Nephilim still celebrate Christmas, right?”

Alec nodded. He’d kind of forgotten that Christmas had even come about last year. Ragnor’s house was rather like living in a void. The concept of time was there in the routine of their day, but the days themselves seemed to blend into each other. He hadn’t known until the seventh of January that he’d missed Christmas and, well, his siblings had been too busy hunting demons to really remember themselves. They’d sent things anyway, just a bit late. 

Alec left them to their plans when it got late.

The next morning, clunking down for breakfast, he thought he should have been a little more careful in how they’d covered up. Glamoured as he was, Alec forgot that Ragnor hadn’t been doing nothing when Magnus decided to drop in. 

There, in Magnus’s hands, was Ragnor’s sketchbook. Worse, dragging on one of Magnus’s lips was the tip of one of Alec’s feathers.

He thought it was a stray. One he’d shed the night before. But the tip was pointedly curved and there were drops of ink littering the stem. An old one. Still one of Alec’s, but old. Hopefully Ragnor had played it off as a very clingy bird hanging around. 

He had to slow his breathing before walking in, pointedly keeping calm as he stole a slice of toast off Magnus’s plate. “Good book?”

Those yellow eyes squinted down at his plate, as if trying to place what had just happened. A small hum came out of Magnus’s throat, the sketchbook closing with a snap and set to the side. He took one look at Alec’s pilfered slice of toast before conjuring a full spread, one brow raised, again, seeing if Alec would take what had been offered.

He did. “I have a jacket upstairs if you need to borrow something for hiking,” Alec offered. “It’s rarely warm here,” something he’d quickly learned, “and it looks like it’s gonna rain so I’m not gonna use it.”

That brow stayed raised, only for a completely different reason now, “That’s… generous of you.”

Alec shrugged. He knew he wasn’t going to be going on their little hike. It wasn’t just a hike. If Alec had to guess he’d think it had something to do with the missing Downworlders. Meaning something Alec wasn’t allowed to intrude on. He didn’t want to either. Who knew what his presence there might do to whatever Downworlders they were visiting. “I have boots too,” he shot a look under the table. They were about the same size. “Just if you don’t want to wreck anything you brought.”

“I’ll… keep that in mind.”

Things went quiet as Alec picked at the food in front of him. There was so much, and some things he’d never quite got the name of the last time Magnus had been over. He made sure to get it now, keeping it in mind for the next time Ragnor challenged him to conjure up breakfast.

Speaking of Ragnor, the man came down just as Alec swiped the last of the cream. He, at least, looked ready for a hike. He grabbed his sketchbook, pulling it to his side of the table “I was wondering where this had gone to.”

“Interesting subject,” Magnus said, the feather, Alec noted, missing from the table. 

Ragnor tried to play it cool, “Your talk about angels last year had me inspired.”

“I see that.”

Ragnor quickly changed the subject, and before long Alec was fetching his boots and jacket for Magnus to shuck on. 

An empty house was weird. Alec didn’t think he’d ever truly been alone in his life. At the Institute there were always people right outside his door, and since the only other place he’d been was here, and here had Ragnor, he actually hadn’t been alone. 

He contemplated napping.

Then he thought about Ragnor’s big, empty back garden and no warlock around to sneak up and laugh at him if he fell on his face. 

Dragging out the mats Ragnor had conjured after Alec had tried flying for the first time, and making sure the rain would stave off for another few hours, he rolled his shoulders out and tried to figure out flying again.

His wings were stronger than they had been a year ago. He also knew a few more manouvers than he had done a year ago. It wasn’t the most fluid he’d ever moved in his life, but Alec managed to lift off, stay up and even glide around.

His endurance wasn’t the best. Something he itched to ask other flying warlocks was just how long they could fly without getting tired. For Alec, it was around half an hour before he was almost crash landing. 

His knee was scraped up, but half an hour was quite long, and it was getting longer all the time. It was rather like running. Or, getting into running. He needed to build up his endurance over time, and no one could run forever. 

He stretched himself out once he’d finished making sure his leg wasn’t going to get infected. Wing ache was a bitch, and he was still out of breath from keeping his body suspended in the sky for so long. 

The fly made him sleepy. Not sleepy enough, however, to not go over his syllabus for the day. He glamoured his wings long before Ragnor and Magnus came back. Good thing too since Magnus had his pockets full of familiar looking feathers, his yellow eyes blown as he rubbed one along his cheek.

“I’m stealing all of these,” Magnus purred, looking almost in a daze as he sat down. 

Ragnor sent him a sharp look, Alec forgetting his molting feathers would have spread around while he was flying. “I’m going to change. Magnus?”

Magnus waved a hand at him, the other still rubbing the feather along his cheek. “I’ll be ready.”

Dinner, right. 

“Are we going somewhere fancy?” Alec asked.

Ragnor pointed to Magnus, so, probably.

He feared, for a moment, that he wouldn’t have anything to wear, but, after Izzy and Raphael’s thoughtful gifts he was actually oddly prepared for tonight.

The full suit was a bit much, so he switched it out for the blue button up Izzy sent and hoped to God Magnus wouldn’t ask about the snaps. He hadn’t yet, but Alec’s fashion up to now had been sweaters that didn’t register a closer look. Everyone knew how button ups were supposed to look, and a few extra buttons on the back was just odd. 

Maybe he should have asked Ragnor how to glamour clothes. 

He checked his hair, not really sure why other than he didn’t want Magnus to think he was always looked semi homeless. Who was he kidding, he wanted to impress a pretty boy. That’s all there was to it. Even if Magnus didn’t like him, and Alec was never going to admit he liked guys that wasn’t to say he didn’t want to impress Magnus still.

He considered parting his hair, maybe asking Ragnor for some of his product, but eventually left it as it was and went down to wait.

Magnus was there, changed and glittered up. The feathers he’d been covered in were gone save for one twirling around his fingers. He gave Alec a look, brief but feeling like it lingered at the same time. 

“No nails?” Magnus asked.

He didn’t understand. Not until he remembered the gift Magnus had sent him. “No. I can’t really do them properly.” He sat as best he could in his chair, mindful again of how he moved. He tried to keep his voice steady as he said, “You’re welcome to while you’re here though.” 

He was adamant to prove he was comfortable here. Comfortable amongst warlocks. He wasn’t his parents. 

Ragnor gave him a look when he came down, as if he somehow knew the fancy shirt wasn’t just for dinner. Alec hoped it was just his paranoia as they stepped through a portal and to a fancy restaurant. 

Dinner was good. It would have been better if there weren’t so many mundanes, but was good. 

“You’re very jumpy,” Magnus noted as they strolled the Yorkshire streets, the lights already lit for Christmas.

“Just not used to so many people,” Alec choked out. He didn’t patrol back home. The only time he did go out was when he’d gotten express permission from his mom to take Izzy and Jace for new clothes, and that wasn’t very often. He didn’t think mundanes understood just how many of them there were.

“Oh?”

Ragnor cut between them, sending a look to Magnus, “He’s been here for a year Magnus. Crowds after such solitude will be daunting to anyone. I myself am a little jumpy.”

“Well that’s hardly my fault,” Magnus drawled. “I have invited you out. More than once might I add. It’s your own fault you decide to impose your self exile.”

They had a look into the few stores that were still open, Alec wishing he’d thought to bring gloves as the wind blew icy cold onto his skin. He took a chance and wrapped his glamoured wings around himself, almost sighing at the warmth that enveloped him. He very much appreciated the old Yorkshire streets after that. There was an odd beauty to them, one Ragnor said was very much prevalent in Durham too.

“We can go there too if you like. Their Christmas market is quite good,” Ragnor suggested.

“Sure,” Alec said.

“Sounds like a plan,” Magnus chimed. “London then Durham. Maybe even Edinburgh if we have time.”

They didn’t stay much longer. Really, they went back as soon as Magnus suggested popping into one of the clubs he spied, Ragnor promising they had enough booze back home. Which was true, but Magnus was rather like Izzy and Jace in that there had to be the right atmosphere in order to drink. Namely, one that was loud, full of sweaty people and the prospect of getting off at the end of the night.

Alec left them to it, falling asleep easily to the idea of exploring more cities tomorrow.

Only, when he woke, it wasn’t to the easy atmosphere he fell asleep too. Ragnor looked near harried when Alec came downstairs, voice raised as he talked to someone over the phone. Usually he reserved that tone for Magnus, but Magnus was rolling himself around in a pile of Alec’s feathers.

He made himself breakfast, hoping by the time he was done things would have calmed down.

They didn’t, Alec handing off a plate of toast to Magnus while Ragnor dialled another person to yell at.

“Can I ask if everything’s okay?” He asked quietly.

Magnus, still trying to sniff the toast Alec had given him for poison or something said, “You can ask. It’s warlock business though so,” he deemed the toast edible, stuffing his face with it as elegantly as someone like Magnus Bane could. 

“Right.” 

He watched Magnus go back to rolling around once his plate was clear. He reminded Alec of Church when the Alec slipped him some catnip to keep him off his feathers. Little feet wiggling around, eyes blown, looking like he was two seconds from zooming around the Institute or folding up as still as he could until the only way Alec knew he was still breathing were the soft purrs coming from his chest.

Like that. Except Magnus wasn’t a cat.

“Why do you like them so much?” He didn’t get it. He’d tried to understand, especially after Ragnor kept taking them, after asking of course. But he just didn’t get it. They were feathers.

Magnus lolled his head over Alec’s way, eyes back to being blown out, they looked almost normal like that, if it weren’t for the pure size of the black overpowering the gold. “You wouldn’t understand Nephilim.”

“Try me.” Alec crouched down, hand out to touch and got smacked for his efforts. If Magnus really were Church he would be hissing at Alec by now. As it was he just shifted the feathers closer to the others. 

“They buzz,” Magnus admitted when he got his pile how he wanted it.

“Buzz?”

“They don’t feel like normal feathers. They,” Magnus struggled for the right words. “I don’t know what’s leaving them but they’re not of this realm.”

Alec frowned, “What do you mean?”

Magnus struggled for a little longer before saying, “This world and Edom have very distinct signatures. If you can feel magic you soon learn to tell the difference. But these… if I had to guess I’d say they were of another demonic plane.”

Alec felt his stomach drop, “There are other planes?”

Magnus dropped his head back down to the feathers with a nod. “Haven’t you ever read Dante? I thought that was basically a Nephilim bedtime story.”

“It’s not,” It was close to one but, even Dante was too advanced for baby shadowhunters. “I just, we aren’t taught about demons from other realms. Just Edom.”

Magnus hummed, unsurprised, “Edom is a mirror world, meaning it’s the closest to our dimension. But the others exist. They’re just harder to travel to.”

Well, there went Alec’s understanding of the world again. 

An hour Alec sat there trying to figure out what that meant for him. An hour Ragnor was on the phone and it looked like he would be there a few hours longer.

He took a break, however, kicking Magnus away from his laces, “I’m afraid I’m going to be a while. We may have to postpone our trip out.”

That was fine by him. Magnus, however, surprised all of them when he rolled over and said, “Well, I can always take Alec if you’re busy.”

Ragnor raised a brow, “You want to take him sightseeing?”

Magnus shrugged, “I have nothing better to do.” Not to mention getting Alec out meant he wouldn’t hear whatever Ragnor was fuming about. Alec wasn’t stupid. He lolled around to Alec again, “Go on then, put your best shirt on, grab your coat, we’re going shopping.”

“I thought we were sightseeing?”

Magnus held a hand up, “Sightseeing? Shopping? Aren’t they both the same thing?” He shooed Alec off. “Look pretty again.”

Again?

It circled in his mind the whole time he was looking over the other three fancy shirts Izzy had sent him. 

He made sure he didn’t smell like sweat as he went down, hands shaking at the idea of spending the day with a pretty boy. Mostly he’d kept his mouth shut around Magnus. Or hoped Ragnor would come rescue him. There would be no Ragnor, and Alec didn’t know how to portal. If he didn’t watch what he said he might find himself stranded in the middle of England.

He put more deodorant on. He thought he might prefer fighting demons right now than going downstairs. 

But he did. He went down, glamour on and only a small patch of sweat seeping through his shirt. The feathers were gone, Magnus looking his usual best and looking something up on his phone. He gave Alec another one of his lingering but brief looks before leading him outside and into a portal.

Mundanes were everywhere. There seemed to be more of them now it was daylight, all of them milling around doing mundane things.

“London?” Alec asked.

“Edinburgh,” Magnus said. “We’ll hit the market, the zoo, they have panda’s there now. After that we’ll do London and finish in Durham.”

The town was different to New York. Their buildings weren’t as large, for one, and most of them were stone. It wasn’t as decorated either. New York felt blinding compared to this, or, what Alec saw of New York through the CCTV. They didn’t go overboard with the lights and, making everything seem kind of surreal, floaty. 

The stalls were interesting. A lot of them were food, and despite just having breakfast an hour ago Alec couldn’t help wondering if he had room for a bubble waffle. Ooh, churo’s. 

He may have stuffed his face and Magnus may have let him walk around Edinburgh zoo with chocolate on his mouth. 

“It’s not funny,” Alec said, his hand going to wipe his mouth again. He knew there was nothing there, but it felt like there was. “God knows what they thought it was.”

That made Magnus laugh harder almost bent over as the penguins in front of them gave waddle to their pond. 

He wiped his mouth again. 

The panda’s weren’t out today. Nor were a lot of the animals, but the penguins liked all sorts of weather which meant they were happy to swim and chirp for attention all day. Alec loved them, and ended up taking a dozen photos for Ragnor later.

After the zoo came London like Magnus promised. They got lunch at some fancy cafe and did some of the touristy stuff that was closest to them. It was all new. All different. All things he hoped he would get to see again and not be babysat by a warlock who barely talked to him when he did so.

After London, when Magnus said if they wanted to see another Christmas market they’d have to go now, they hit Durham and like Edinburgh it had that otherworldly feel to it. London felt more like New York. It was all skyscrapers and packed streets. Everyone was minding their own business and it felt like half of the history had been eroded away in favour of modern buildings and American fast food chains. “- you know,” Alec rambled. The silence was finally starting to get to him, and if Magnus wasn’t going to fill it then he was going to have to listen to Alec. “Like there’s cobbles and stone walls. It’s all sloping and dreary but bright at the same time.” It was still freezing, but Alec’s wings took care of that problem.

“Durham is pretty,” Magnus agreed quietly, the two of them moving onto another stall, this one filled with strange looking notebooks. 

Alec bought himself one, the designs reminding him of the grimoires Ragnor kept. The paper was thin, but the sleeve of the notebook could be taken off if he ever wanted to make something more durable.

Dinner was food from one of the market stalls. Alec was a little hesitant, he’d heard rumours that street food often went right through a person. But, well, he was a warlock, and warlocks didn’t really get sick like normal mundanes. That and everyone else around him seemed to be fine, so he gladly accepted the burger that was handed to him, him and Magnus finding a nice spot overlooking the river to eat.

The sun had set hours ago, that dreamy feeling intensifying even if it was only seven thirty. The moon was out, blending in with the soft glow of the street lights. There were a few boats below, gently rocking in the wind.

“I know you don’t like me,” Alec said. He didn’t like having it unsaid between them. He wasn’t the kind of guy that liked to live with things hanging over his head if he could help it. He had enough things up there to add more to it. “Ragnor told me about my mom. And I know me saying I didn’t know doesn’t mean anything but I am sorry. And I understand why you don’t like me. I know you’re worried about Ragnor, about why I’m here with him and I know it probably doesn’t count for much when I say I’m not going to hurt him.”

There was a pause, Magnus growing sick of his limited vision since the glamour dropped, those yellow eyes glowing slightly as looked Alec over. “Is that it? Am I supposed to be comforted by that?”

“No,” Alec tossed his trash away, “I don’t want you to be comforted, I just want you to know that I understand why you act the way you do around me. Ragnor’s a good guy, I’d hate for anything to happen to him.”

“Then we’re both on the same page,” Magnus said, standing and tossing his own trash away. He didn’t linger afterwards, starting back to the market stalls.

Alec hurried to catch up.

He didn’t feel like he’d accomplished anything. But the point wasn’t to accomplish. It wasn’t to comfort either, or make everything okay between them. He just wanted Magnus to know that he didn’t have to be sly in his antagonising. Alec could take whatever Magnus wanted to throw at him, because at the end of the day Magnus was Ragnor’s friend and, to Magnus, Alec was a shadowhunter that had mysteriously appeared one day with no explanation and no return date. Worse, he was a Lightwood, and Alec didn’t think for a moment the disdain Ragnor and Magnus both had for his mom wasn’t personal.

They dawdled around, Alec buying trinkets he thought his siblings would like. He even found a candle he thought his mom would like. “She needs something to mellow her out a bit,” Alec had said, still filling the silence between them.

That comment got him a short snort, Magnus even buying Maryse a second candle since, according to him, it was going to take a whole field of lavender to calm her down. 

“It’s not that I don’t like you,” Magnus said. They were strolling along the darker streets of Durham, the cathedral shimmering up ahead. “Believe me you’re the nicest shadowhunter I’ve met-”

“I get it. I told you.” Since he had. “I don’t need you to justify yourself to me. I just wanted you to know that it was okay and that I do deserve it. What my people have done to yours is… it’s not even mildly justified. What makes it worse is that it’s still going on.” He wished he knew how to change it, but Alec was here, not New York. Worse, he was a warlock, not a shadowhunter. He couldn’t run an Institute. Couldn't become consul. The most he could hope for himself was finding a nice patch of land and finding some purpose to keep him going. “I’m sorry I can’t do anything to make your life better Magnus.”

There was a frustrated huff next to him, Alec looking over to see Magnus slouched a little in his scarf. “One of the most dislikable things about you Alec Lightwood is how hard it is to dislike you.”

“Sorry.” 

A roll of his eyes and Magnus cut in front of him. “Stop saying sorry. Look, it’s not even the shadowhunter thing. If things had been different. If you’d, I don’t know, shown up at my house asking for a potion I’d be sweet talking you into bed by now. But you didn’t, you’re staying with Ragnor and-” 

“I get it,” Alec insisted. “Magnus, I get it. If that were one of my siblings I’d be giving you a hard time too. You don’t have to explain yourself, and I’ve never once complained about you to Ragnor either because I know he gets it too. It’s fine, I just, I wanted us to understand each other. If you’re going to be antagonistic, do it to my face. I can take it.”

Magnus made one of those little huffs again, falling back into step with Alec.

They reached the cathedral, and despite it being after hours, Magnus gave a little flick of his wrist and let them in.

It started small after that. Just odd comments, steering Alec around and through the winding halls. Then it was the history of the place, then, just before they were about to leave, Magnus was telling him wild stories of when he and Ragnor had hid in the Cathedral from pissed shadowhunters some odd few hundred years ago.

“He didn’t talk to me for a week,” Magnus said.

“Ragnor?” 

“Will,” Magnus corrected. “In his defence he was a little pissy at that point in his life. Jem had severed their parabatai rune and, naturally, Tessa was on his mind, but still, there was no need for the tone he took when he finally caught up with us.”

Alec found himself chuckling, just the way Magnus told stories was entertaining. He made them into a theatre piece, each one as good as the last. Some even more so. “Sounds like he was going through a lot.”

“Oh you have no idea. Poor Tessa still recounts it as one of the most trying times in her life.”

Alec sorted that out. “So, Tessa’s still alive?”

“She’s a warlock. Well, sort of.” Magnus said easily.

“How can you sort of be a warlock?”

Magnus gave him an odd look, “They don’t tell you about Tessa in your Institute?”

Alec shook his head.

“Typical,” Magnus huffed. “Although, I suppose it is probably a good thing. Tessa likes her privacy, and God knows the outcry that would occur if shadowhunters found out there was a way to be impregnated by demons.”

“She’s-” Wait, “You mean they can’t be?”

Magnus pursed his lips, “Usually the child is stillborn. Your Nephilim blood destroys anything demonic inside of it. Tessa was the exception, and only because there were extremely extenuating circumstances.”

Then how did his mom have him? Wait, Magnus had said something about different realms before they left this morning. Maybe that was how? Or, maybe his mom had these ‘extremely extenuating circumstances’ too. Regardless, Alec could barely believe it. There was another person out there like him. Could she use runes? Had she tried? What did being half shadowhunter mean to her?

Magnus waved his hand, “Enough about Tessa. Tell me more about your siblings.”

“My-” Right, he could think about it later. “Er, I think I told you I had three.” Or maybe he had just told Magnus about Izzy.

Regardless he told Magnus again. He told him all about the birthday presents they got him, and thanks for the gift Magnus got hi too. He told Magnus about Jace being grounded after he’d been found sneaking a mundane girl out of his room the other day. About Max visiting Spain.

“Izzy’s still looking for a new night club. Apparently the owner of that Pandemonium found out she was underage and banned her. She’s pissed. I hope she never finds out who ratted her out.” She’d struck out on three other Downworlder night clubs because they took one look at her runes and refused to let her in. Apparently Pandemonium was the only one that didn’t care so long as no one died by the end of the night. 

Magnus gave him an odd look, “Me too. She looked like quite the spit fire last I saw her.”

“You’ve seen her?”

Magnus see sawed his hand, “Here and there. Your mother had me check the wards on the Institute before I came here.”

“I hope she wasn’t too rude.” He’d heard, more than saw, how she interacted with the warlocks that came to portal and set their wards. More because she didn’t want them to ‘sense him with their magic’ than to shield him from her conduct.

“She was the same as she’s always been,” Magnus sighed, shoulder brushing Alec’s, “But it’s refreshing to see that her children didn’t completely take after her.”

They wandered around a little longer before the only things open were clubs. Alec had never been one for going dancing, mostly because he wasn’t allowed, but there had always been that fear there too that his wings would end up knocking into someone and his whole cover would be blown.

Thankfully, Magnus knew who he was walking with since he didn’t try and drag Alec to a club like he would have with Ragnor. Instead they picked up some take out and portalled back to the quiet stretch of land Alec was starting to see as home. 

Ragnor looked exhausted, sitting by his fire with his head flung into the back of the chair. “Have you eaten?” Magnus asked, setting the take out regardless on Ragnor’s lap. “How were the…”

Alec took the pointed silence and wished them both goodnight, knowing that just because Magnus was a little friendlier it didn’t mean he trusted Alec at all. 

Still, things weren’t quite so tense when Alec finally got up the next morning. There was still a moment of disbelief as Magnus watched Alec eat what had been set in front of him, but for the most part they just tried to wake up in silence.

Whatever had rattled Ragnor yesterday must have been settled since Magnus announced he would be leaving before dinner. “Things to do and all that,” he said, but insisted beforehand that he try and find the bird that kept leaving all its lovely feathers behind.

“What are you even going to do with them?” Ragnor used them in potions, sometimes as quills. Once or twice Alec had seen him draw up plans to maybe use a few of Alec’s feathers for a pillow. He definitely shed enough. 

Magnus, prowling around and not seeming to care he was getting his shiny boots muddy just shrugged, “I’ll find some use for them.” A pillow, Alec was guessing then. Especially with how much he seemed to like them on his face. It made Alec’s cheeks heat up when he remembered they were Alec’s feathers he was rubbing on his face. 

“I- er,” He debated for a moment before pulling out the long feather he’d molted before his shower. It wasn’t too long, but it was certainly longer than the little feathers Magnus had been collecting. It looked to be a normal bird length, so it shouldn’t have garnered too much suspicion. Which meant, “here,” he didn’t feel too scared handing it over.

It was kind of worth it to see the look on Magnus’s face. He looked like Christmas had come, dropping his bag to inspect Alec’s find. “Where did you get this?”

He stumbled for a moment before saying, “My window? It er- the bird seems to like dropping them there.”

“You have more?” Magnus grinned, all sharp teeth and big eyes.

“Er, well, I kind of give them to Ragnor. But, if you like them that much I can start collecting them for you for the next time you come over?” It would probably save a fight if Magnus’s eager look to the door was any indication. “I can see if there’s any there now?”

Magnus nodded, shooing Alec off. He must have still searched despite Alec’s offer since he was covered in mud by the time lunch came. 

He gave up his search afterwards. Mostly because Ragnor threatened to hose him off if he thought about tracking mud in again. Alec also sort of went through his wings while Magnus was out and piled up the fallen feathers. Even the big ones, although he did snap them up so they wouldn’t be so obvious. 

Magnus looked like Christmas had come early, his eyes going into tiny slits as he carefully counted out Alec’s spoils. 

It was only afterwards, after a few hours of rolling around in feathers again and pestering Alec about the state of his nails, that he reluctantly said he had to go.

“People to see and all that,” Magnus said, letting Alec’s foot, and his new shiny nails, go. “I’ll visit again soon.” There was a pointed look at Ragnor.

“Don’t forget you can call,” Ragnor said.

“If I called you’d never let me come over,” Magnus whined.

Ragnor didn’t even try to deny it.

It felt like being punched in the head when Magnus left. Before, everything had been normal, bright and loud, then one swift knock and everything was silent, blurry almost. Every second Alec was aware of before now bled into the next, and while Ragnor made good in showing Alec a bit more of England, Scotland too, he couldn’t quite remember where those visits fit in with the idea of days and weeks. 

“... went to Blackpool, last, no, two weeks ago,” Alec tried to remember. “It was interesting. They have so many castles over here, like, so many. You’d think you were in a fairytale in some places Iz.”

“Sounds dreamy,” She grinned. “And you’re happy?”

Alec shrugged, “It’s nice.” Not as nice as being at home with his family but, “I mean, I’m not stuck indoors over here. Ragnor’s talking about getting some horses.” Which was actually a secret dream of his. Ever since he and Jace had heard about the shadowhunters of old that would cut down demons on horseback he’d wanted to learn how to ride. Jace knew. He’d learned before he came to live with them. But Alec had been stuck at the Institute, and Maryse definitely wouldn’t let him keep a horse there.

“What no way,” Isabelle may have a thing for horses too. It was what had prompted Alec to tell Ragnor about them when the man expressed interest in getting a few animals. Something to alleviate the boredom. Horses were a better investment than goats, in Alec’s opinion. Mainly because he wanted to ride one. “You’ll have to ask if I can come visit now. I need to see them.”

Alec chuckled, “I said he might. I don’t think he will. He gets into these moods sometimes where he needs to do something new. A few months ago it was fencing.” Mostly because he’d seen Alec practicing and wanted to see if he could still keep up. “It only lasted a week. I use his sword more than he does now.”

“Still,” Isabelle said, “If he does, I need to see them.”

Things back home hadn’t gotten any better according to Isabelle. Their parents were still being shifty, and while Alec feared it had something to do with their involvement in the Circle, he didn’t dare say anything to Isabelle. Alec wasn’t there, Isabelle was. He’d had time to get over his anger, to understand at least her defeat in Valentine’s uprising. But Izzy had always been hot headed when it came to their mom. If she said the wrong thing at the wrong time who knew what might happen.

“There’s been a few Downworlders coming to the Institute,” Isabelle said when Alec, again, denied knowing what might be going on with their parents. “ _ Raphael _ was even here,” she sang, making Alec’s cheeks go hot.

“I was twelve. I’m over it.” Kind of. He’d be lying if he said Raphael’s visit when he first got to Ragnor’s didn’t leave him a little tingly. He took a deep breath, knowing she was just doing it for a rise. He’d do the same to her if he knew who her boy of the month was. “What was he doing there?”

Isabelle bit her lip, “Not sure. All I heard was raised voices and mom coming by to take him to her office. Same with the werewolf and warlock that came. Even Meliorn’s been by. It’s getting pretty bad. I heard some of the new transfers talking about putting up UV lights or silver spikes to keep them out.”

“They can’t do that,” Alec said immediately. The rules were to listen to the Downworlders if they came to the Institute. They were, often, the Institute’s main source of information. Actively turning them away, or putting measures in to keep them out was a breach of the accords. Especially if the Downworlder had followed protocol before arriving. 

“I know, but it doesn’t matter.” She lowered her voice, “You have to admit it’s weird. What if they’re planning something?”

“They’re not.” 

She raised a brow, “You sound pretty sure.”

“I…” It had to be to do with the disappearances. “The warlock that came, did he have shiny makeup on?”

Izzy’s other brow joined the raised one. “How did you know?”

“That’s Magnus Bane. He’s the High Warlock. I’m guessing the werewolf that came was an alpha too. They’re all high profile, and if mom’s not turning them away then it’s important. 

There was a pause, “You seem to know a bit about this?”

He shook his head, “Not really. But Raphael takes over for Camille when she’s not present at the hotel,” which was all the time. She was one of those people who liked the idea of power but liked other people to keep it for her. “They’re both friends with Ragnor,” he felt he had to explain.

“Right.”

He didn’t know much more than that. He knew about the disappearances, but why they would be going to the shadowhunters he wasn’t sure. They all knew the Institute would only intervene when it was paramount they had to and not before. Unless it was a threat to shadowhunters as well as Downworlders there was no use for them going to the Institute.

He hung up when Izzy finished telling him all about how dreamy the Seelie knight Meliorn was. 

Ragnor didn’t end up getting the horses. Instead he took up archery, meaning Alec spent most of his afternoons flying after stray arrows.

That wasn’t to say Alec didn’t hear more about Maryse’s meetings. It felt like every time he phoned Isabelle was telling him about another high profile Downworlder coming to the Institute. It was starting to get worrying. 

So much so he asked over lunch one day, “Has Raphael mentioned anything about meeting with my mom?”

Ragnor looked up from his sandwich, debating only a moment before saying, “Perhaps. How do you know about that though?”

“Izzy told me he’s been by. That him and the other leaders of the New York Downworlders have been by actually. More people are going missing aren’t they?” 

Ragnor sighed, a defeated look on his face as he nodded. “I’m afraid so.”

“That means the Circle’s back, doesn’t it?” It had to. Or, someone was taking from the Circle’s ideas and building on them. It wasn’t unheard of, and the attitudes of today’s shadowhunters weren’t all that different to those twenty years ago. In fact, Alec was sure the shadowhunters of today, the ones in power anyway, were probably his mom’s age, meaning, who knows what they were doing when the Circle was active. Conspiring. Spying. Helping. 

“No one’s going to get us here,” Ragnor promised, like that was what Alec was concerned about.

He leaned back in his chair, then remembered that wasn’t a good idea and flattened his wings further before trying again. “You should tell Raphael and Magnus to stop going to the Institute. I know they probably think it’s their last hope,” since Downworlders tended not to involve shadowhunters unless they had no choice, “But the whole messed up thing about the Downworld is that they don’t speak. They’re better off pooling their resources together than asking my mom to hear them out. They’re only getting the shadowhunters at the Institute riled up, and they’ve already been speaking about putting measures in place to keep them out.”

Ragnor gave him a long look. “What’s your mother been saying about it?”

Alec shrugged, “Dunno, Izzy and Jace are the ones telling me about their visits.”

Lunch was well out of their minds now, Ragnor pushing his plate back as he said, “You should know their reports aren’t just because they don’t know what to do. As stated in the Accords the Downworlders are to tell the shadowhunters of any upheaval or drastic change in their districts. They’re protecting themselves Alec.”

He met Ragnor’s eye, “They’re going to get killed if they don’t stop. Or at least beat up.” He understood doing things by the book, but if one shadowhunter reported harassment the Clave would take their word for it over the Downworlder. “They need a neutral party. Or at least a neutral meeting place. Going the Institute is causing problems they don’t need.”

“You’ve thought about this a lot,” Ragnor said after a while.

“I just don’t want people to get hurt that don’t need to be.” It wasn’t a matter of if anymore, more when, and Alec didn’t want to hear from his siblings that it was anyone from the New York Institute that had done it. 

“I’ll tell them,” Ragnor said at last.

He did too. Alec was finding Ragnor was a man of his word, and had his conversation, maybe not in the same room, but close enough that Alec knew he was delivering Alec’s message.

Whether the Downworlders in New York took Alec’s advice would remain to be seen. Izzy didn’t mention them next time they spoke, Jace either, but they didn’t always mention work when he spoke to them on the phone. One thing they did talk about however was this new shadowhunter that had come to stay with them for a term.

“Him and Jace are always training together,” Izzy said, thankfully not in the main com room. “I think I heard him ask about becoming parabatai”

“Oh.”

Parabatai. 

Alec didn’t know why that hit him as hard as it did. 

“Apparently he thinks he and Jace are really compatible. He’s been talking about extending his stay. Maybe even asking Jace if he wants to go to the Los Angeles Institute when he leaves.” Izzy didn’t gloat, thankfully. She didn’t sound happy at all to be relaying this news to Alec. She knew more than anyone how much he’d wanted to be Jace’s parabatai. How much Jace wanted it too. 

Or, had wanted it he supposed.

“I’ve tried to talk to Jace about it but he’s not hearing it. I’m sorry Alec,” Izzy said.

He took some careful breaths, starving off the pressure behind his eyes. “It’s fine,” he choked out, knowing Izzy could see just how not fine it was. But, “It’s fine. I mean, it doesn’t look like I’m coming home soon does it. He may as well find someone who…” who can actually be a parabatai. Who was allowed out to watch Jace’s back like he needed. “It’s fine.”

“I’m going to try and talk to him again.”

“No.” He couldn’t do that. He couldn’t be selfish. It was never going to be an option for him so there was no use in holding Jace back. “Look, just, let Jace do what he likes. He shouldn’t have to wait for me. If… if he thinks this new guy is worth it, then let him do it.”

“Alec-”

“I have to go.” He hung up before Isabelle could start.

Jace was getting a parabatai. He was getting what he’d always wanted, and Alec wasn’t any part of that. He rubbed his eyes. It was for the best, probably. Jace was getting someone who could really be there for him. Someone who was compatible for him. Someone who could-

Who was he kidding. He could try and justify this all he liked but it still hurt that everything was moving on back home and he was stuck here living a life he’d never wanted. It wasn’t fair. He’d tried so hard. He’d trained with the others. He’d done all the work. Why did his mom let him do all that if she was just going to shuck him off somewhere else? 

They were all going to forget about him. It was only a matter of time. Sooner or later they’d get too busy to remember to call him. Then when Alec called them, they’d be too busy to take that call. Eventually both sides would just stop and, well, the days were already blending into each other. Who knew how long Alec could be here before he realised a hundred years had passed.

He asked Ragnor the next day about Tessa.

“Tessa,” Ragnor huffed, “Well, she is an odd case.”

“But she’s like me,” Alec insisted, needing to hear it from Ragnor too. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe Magnus, it was more like Alec wanted confirmation from more than one source. “She’s half shadowhunter right?”

Ragnor nodded, “She is. But, Alec, I’m sure you know that you and Tessa are two very different cases.”

“How?” Alec demanded. 

“Well,” Ragnor scratched one of his horns, “For starters the circumstances of your birth are vastly different to Tessa’s.” He got some explanation of a clockwork angel and her mother bearing no runes. “Your mother had neither of those things. For all intents and purposes it shouldn’t have been possible to happen again.”

But it did. He was here. Which meant that, “Magnus said something about different realms. They could have demons, right?”

Ragnor kept on scratching his horn, “The other demonic realms are difficult to explain. No one has journeyed to them save the demons themselves. It’s rumoured that some are where the mundanes and Downworlders tainted with demon blood go when they die.” So, hell. “Edom is the main source of the demons your people fight, but, it stands to reason that the demons from the other realms can cross over here too.”

He gave Ragnor a look, “You said before that you weren’t sure who my father was. But you’ve hinted before he’s not…” not natural? But, demons weren’t exactly natural were they. 

Ragnor understood him anyway, “He is not of Edom. Like I said, I have my suspicions. But answering those suspicions has proven difficult so far Alec.”

He itched to move, to do something. This was getting them nowhere, “You said there were other differences. Between me and Tessa.”

“Well,” Ragnor started again, “Like I said, your birth. Then there’s your blood. We don’t know the demon that has sired you. Who knows what you’re capable of. No warlock holds the same amount of power as another. I, myself, am vastly outshined by Magnus,” Something he admitted with a little difficulty. “Just as I am more powerful than other warlocks. Some of them older than myself even.”

“So we could have different powers?” Alec muddled through, “Like rune bearing?”

At that Ragnor immediately shook his head, looking at Alec with almost pity, “I know how much you want to be a shadowhunter Alec. But not even Tessa can bear runes.”

“But-”

Ragnor shook his head, “To even attempt it would be torture for you Alec. You’ve seen what pain a stele can bring you.”

He had. The runes his dad had always attempted burned before they’d even finished being drawn. Robert, thankfully, never finished them, and at this point Alec didn’t want to know what it would have felt like if his father had. 

The silence lengthened between them as Alec’s last hope faded. He was never going to be a shadowhunter. That was it. Nothing to it.

Jace really was going to have to move on.

“If you’d like,” Ragnor started slowly, “I can ask Tessa to come visit us for a few days.”

Alec shook his head, “I’m sure she’s busy.” As tempting as it would be to meet someone similar to himself he didn’t know if he could stand it. Ragnor would end up telling her. Or, Alec would, and he’d be left just as disappointed as he already was when he realised there truly was no cure for what they were. He was a warlock. Better get used to it. “Thank you anyway.”

He was a little more focused on his studies the days following. The books meant he didn’t have to think, and not thinking meant not dwelling on what was probably his best friend in the entire world sharing half his soul with a guy he’d known for, what? A month? Two?

God he sounded like he was thirteen.

He couldn’t help it however, that was just how he felt. He was jealous. More than jealous he was angry and frustrated and hating his very existence because the world obviously didn’t need him so why was he even alive? His family was getting by just fine without him. He wasn’t making any lasting impact locked away at Ragnor’s. His life was a joke, and the worst part was that it wasn’t even funny.

“Alec, you like boys, do you really think Beckham deserved top ten this year or not? I can’t quite make my mind up with him.”

Alec didn’t register the sentence at first, eyes struggling with the list of top fifty most handsome men in a magazine Ragnor had picked up with the mail this morning. Then it hit, and he felt his world going upside down again. “I- wha- I’m not. I don’t. Wh- why would you even-?”

Sensing he’d done something wrong, the magazine was placed back in Ragnor’s lap. “Ah.”

“I don’t like boys,” Alec forced out, “Not like-  _ that. _ ”

Ragnor held his hands up, “My mistake. I thought you were comfortable. But, no matter, forget I said anything.”

He wanted to, and even as Ragnor went back to reading the top fifty Alec felt himself shake. Ragnor knew. How the hell did Ragnor know? Who had told him? Had anyone even told him? Was it just that obvious? Did other people know?” “I’m not,” Alec said again, hating every word that came out of his mouth. Why was he still talking about this. “But, who- how did you think that I did?”

Ragnor’s eyes got a little shifty as he slowly sounded out “Raphael. But,” he went on before Alec had time to process that. “In all fairness I am over seven hundred years old. You kind of get the feel for this kind of thing over the years. That and the shirt you tried to throw out was extremely loud in proclaiming it.” 

Oh God. He should have burned it. The moment he’d been alone he should have set that damn thing on fire. 

“I merely thought it was something you wanted to subtly let me know about. If your sister was sending you shirts… although, now that I think about it you shadowhunters have always been a repressed sort.” Ragnor was really starting to second guess his whole asking Alec’s opinion thing now.

It would have been funny, had it not been Alec, and Alec not been in the middle of a breakdown.

He left. He just left. He dropped his notebook, forgot about his reading material and went outside. He didn’t know when walking turned to jogging, or jogging to running or even running to flying, all he knew was that his body ached after a certain point and he was almost at the edge of Ragnor’s wards.

He settled down on a rocky patch of land, pacing and pacing as he tried to think about what he was going to do next.

Ragnor knew.

Raphael knew which was somehow worse.

Ragnor knew!

But he hadn’t told anyone. He hadn’t even mentioned it until now. But that wasn’t the point. Ragnor  _ knew _ . Was Alec certain he’d not told anyone else? Did he and Raphael laugh at him when it was brought up? What exactly had been said? Was there any way he could regain a slither of straightness out of this situation?

That last one he wasn’t so sure about. Ragnor hadn’t exactly told him he was wrong, he’d just said everything about Alec screamed that he was gay. So, that was that.

He didn’t know how long he paced out there. It could have been hours it could have been minutes. All he knew was that it was cold, even at the tail end of spring, and Ragnor had a nice warm house he hadn’t kicked Alec out of yet.

He spent longer outside because of that. Mulling over whether he was really going to go in. What he was going to say when he got in. If he was even going to say anything or just go to his room and hope that by the time he got out some sort of plan would have been put in motion.

Something. 

He went in eventually however, surprised when Ragnor was waiting in the kitchen with a cup of tea he handed over as soon as Alec came over.

“I’m sorry,” Ragnor said, “I made assumptions that made you uncomfortable, and if you don’t want to talk about it, that’s okay.”

Alec’s hands shook as he tried to drink the tea, unsure whether it was from the cold or the idea of actually facing this. Regardless, he was surprised when he found himself asking, “How? Raphael, how did he know?” There. He didn’t say it outright. Didn’t declare it like he’d seen some mundanes do outside of their apartments. But he didn’t deny it either, and even Ragnor could read between those lines.

Leaning back against his counter Ragnor said, “Well, he sort of figured it out when he came by the Institute. You must have been young, I imagine, but later he told me all about the Nephilim that wouldn’t stop staring at his tailcoat. Word of advice Alec, vampires know the signs of attraction when they see it.”

“Enhanced senses,” he said like he’d never read thousands of reports and stories about it. “God I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not,” Ragnor insisted. “And Raphael was flattered. Still is actually. The point is that I’m the last person who’s going to judge you for who you’re attracted to.”

He took another sip, glad to see his hands had calmed a little. “Oh?”

“I’ve been alive a long time Alec, things like that stop mattering after a certain point.” Which made sense. “My friends, also… once you see the damage repression can do to a person you quickly get over the prejudices. It’s why I thought you and Magnus would be good friends. He was once quite like you.”

“He was?” Magnus was once a boring self hating moron? The guy who thought it was a good idea to put glow in the dark glitter down the hall so he would be able to find his room when drunk?

“The years have not always been kind to my friend, and all of us must accept who we truly are at some point. It took a while for Magnus, not just for his sexuality. The mundanes don’t understand how much easier they have it these days. It’s still bad, and I garner were you to tell your friends in New York they wouldn’t look too favourably on you. But things are better, trust me on that.”

He did. He’d often seen mundanes and wished it could be like that for him. “Shadowhunters aren’t meant to be gay.” He almost choked on the word. But he had to say it at one point and Ragnor, like Izzy, hadn’t turned on him yet. What harm was there in saying one little word.

“Alec,” he looked up, “You’re not a shadowhunter.”

They went back to the fireplace, Alec picking up where he’d left off with his reading. A week afterwards, he tried a spell out for the first time. A real, wordy, spell. It took a few attempts to get right, but pretty soon he could recite and perform the spell in his sleep.

Ragnor congratulated him by taking them on a trip, letting Alec see the intricacies of portalling from a spellcasters perspective now that he was getting the hang of his magic. It was pretty interesting, and Ragnor assured him he thought portalling was within Alec’s repertoire because Alec wasn’t a shadowhunter. He was a warlock. A concept he was still trying to get used to.

He didn’t completely forget about Ragnor’s talk. It made him think more than anything. To wonder if he was going to try the rest of his family’s life to be straight. To marry some mundane just to keep his parents happy. It was possible. He’d hate every minute of it, but, he had eternity to experiment once they were-

God he couldn’t even think it. He felt sick at the mere thought that he was planning to con his family until they died. That he was even making plans for after they passed. Who did that? 

Regardless, he didn’t have to hide at Ragnor’s, and, so far, no one had come to demand him back. Maybe he could just, test the waters. Like, when Ragnor took them on a field trip, he didn’t attempt to hide the interest he had in the men that passed them. Or, when Ragnor had another magazine Izzy probably would have enjoyed, he let Ragnor ask his opinion on the latest ‘heart throb in the media’. Alec just let himself try it out. Let himself enjoy not hiding, getting a feel for things and seeing, truly, if he really was gay.

It turned out he was. Definitely. Big time. Most certainly. 

A conclusion he’d come to when they returned home one afternoon and found the High Warlock himself shirtless on Ragnor’s couch.

In Magnus’s defence, he was hurt. 

Ragnor had pushed him back out, giving Alec a warned, “Magnus,” so he could glamour his wings. But as soon as he got in he could see that Magnus probably wouldn’t have noticed anyway. He wasn’t too badly hurt, he was actually healing himself, his magic swirling blue as he directed it to his side. “What happened?”

“Attack on the Seelies,” Magnus gritted out. “I’ve been trying to get them to attend the meetings with Maryse. Wrong place wrong time you know how it is.”

Ragnor batted Magnus’s hands away, his own magic taking over and doing a faster job of knitting the skin together. “You idiot,” Ragnor sighed, his magic doing a whole sweep before the man declared his work done. “I take it you being here means you have time to talk.”

“A few hours,” Magnus agreed.

Ragnor motioned up, the two of them retiring to his study to talk about, probably, more problems in the Downworld. He wondered if the Institute was holding similar meetings. If they, too, were bothered as much as the people they were sworn to protect were. He knew his mom was attending these meetings. But whether she was passing the information on, or even being slightly productive at them, he wasn’t sure of. 

What he was sure of was that whatever shiny thing had been covering Magnus’s upper half was ruined. Had he been actually thinking instead of replaying all that smooth flexing skin, removed of the blood, in excruciating detail again and again in his mind, he would have remembered that warlocks could conjure things. But he wasn’t thinking along those lines, so ended up fetching one of his own, classier, shirts for Magnus to slip on when he came back down.

He really hadn’t been thinking, in his defence. Like really, definitely hadn’t been thinking. Since he did hand the shirt over when Magnus came down, and did, maybe, preen a little at the surprised smile that Magnus gave him. 

Again, if he had been thinking, he would have known just why it was a bad idea to lend Magnus his clothes. Before, when he’d let Magnus borrow his jacket, it was because the thing was new and he hadn’t had time to alter it yet. That shirt he gave Magnus had been around long enough for Alec to work out the best way to wear it. Meaning, the back was open in places and snapped shut in others that definitely wasn’t part of the original design. 

He knew because he caught a glimpse of Magnus’s back as the man turned to give his friend a hug. 

Alec had never shot a look for help as fast as he did then. Ragnor, already caught up, caught Magnus as he tried to zip off by the collar, “Is this Alec’s? Magnus you’re a warlock, let the boy keep what little clothes he has.”

“It was a gift,” Magnus tried, and, weirdly, tried again.

But ultimately Ragnor won, and Alec had to sit there all night wondering what would have happened if Magnus had walked off with his shirt. 

He debated calling Izzy the next day. Mostly because Ragnor had walked all over the house sighing to Alec about Magnus. “I mean really Alec,” was his last sigh, the shake of the head accompanying it. 

It wasn’t Alec’s fault Magnus was pretty.

Really, Alec thought Ragnor didn’t care that he thought Magnus was good looking. More, the close shave they’d had with the shirt because of it being Magnus Alec found good looking. Pretty people made those who looked at them do stupid things. 

He didn’t end up calling Izzy. She was probably busy. He also didn’t want to listen to her talk about Jace. They hadn’t talked since she’d said he might be taking a parabatai, and, honestly, Alec didn’t think he was ready to hear if it had happened yet or not.

Oddly enough however, a few days after his decision not to phone home, an unknown number popped up on his phone. 

“Hello?” The only reason he answered it was because he thought it could be his mom. Maybe she’d decided to try and phone him on a disposable phone or something. Honestly a good idea. 

It wasn’t his mom, “Alec?”

“Max.” Two times he’d managed to make contact without even having his own phone. Seriously mom. “What trouble have you got yourself into now?”

“None,” Max scoffed in that way all kids did that meant a lot but he didn’t want to fess up to it because there were probably grown ups present. He wondered if it was his parents. “Whatever Dad says the warlock you’re staying with lives in England. He does right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“‘Cause guess who’s going to London for a term?”

No way. “No way!” He could see Max.

Probably.

In a neutral location anyway. He didn’t even want to attempt stepping into the London Institute. He had a feeling his parents might have messed with a few of the wards and security measures when they first got banished there. 

“When?”

“Two weeks. I was thinking you could show me the sights, or we could train together or you could just, I dunno,” he sounded as excited as Alec felt. 

“Do you have your own phone yet?” Alec asked, scrolling through the numbers in his log history. It didn’t look like it matched up to any in there. 

“No, this is dad’s.” Dad’s. Meaning dad was there. Meaning he’d changed his number since Alec certainly didn’t have this one filed away.

He hoped it was a case of demon smashing because if not Alec was going to be even more pissed than he was already. A couple rings for his birthday were all well and good, but he would still like a phone call. 

He swallowed all that down. Max didn’t need to hear it. It wasn’t his fault their parents were dicks. “Right, well, looks like I’m going to have to fire message you.” Warlocks could do that. He’d seen Ragnor do it a few times with Catarina, although Alec wasn’t sure flirting was what fire messages were for. Regardless, if he begged enough he was sure Ragnor would teach him it. Or, at least send Alec’s messages for him until he learned it himself. “But we’ll sort it out. I can’t wait to see you.”

“It’s gonna be so much fun.”

He debated a moment before asking, “Hey, Max, is dad there with you now?”

“Er,” from the way it was drawn out, Alec was guessing yes. But, sure enough, Max said, “He’s kind of busy Alec. And he said to not save this number. He’s getting a new phone or something- well if you’re getting rid of it why can’t I have it?” Max said to someone beyond the speaker. “That’s not fair. Everyone my age has a phone.”

“Max,” he could fight with dad without the phone on. God knows Alec didn’t want to hear his dad being an actual dad. “I gotta go okay. Sort your life out, guilt dad into giving you a phone, I don’t know, but I’ll find a way to talk to you okay?”

“Yeah, kay, bye.”

As soon as the phone went silent Alec was up and begging Ragnor to teach him how to fire message. Also to maybe take him to London to see his brother.

The fire message thing Ragnor was down for. He agreed it would actually be beneficial for Alec to know how to send quick messages if his phone was gone and there was nothing around him but paper. The London thing, he wasn’t so sure on.

“We go on field trips all the time though,” Alec pointed out. “And I’m not stupid enough to go to the Institute. I was thinking of asking him if he wanted to do one of those tour buses or something.” But since Alec couldn’t portal he kind of needed a lift there.

“I’m not saying no. I’m just saying I’ll think about it. We aren’t knowingly in the area when we go out Alec. I’m sure your brother is a wonderful boy, but he’s young, and he could say something to the wrong person that will have me, at least, in danger.” 

Right. Missing warlocks. 

In fact the more Alec thought about it the more worried he got. What if someone overheard Max talking about his plans with Alec and staged an ambush. What if Valentine found out and used Alec to track Ragnor. What if they took Max to get to Alec so he would give up Ragnor.

He tried to figure it all out, and ended up with a plan that was far too elaborate to ever get passed Ragnor. 

Thankfully, he wasn’t the only one that had been thinking. One morning, when Alec came down for breakfast, Ragnor told him he’d been in contact with his dad.

“I’m going to be portalling Max here, that way our arrangement won’t be made public to whoever might be watching your brother.”

He would have hugged the man, and had almost tried to before one his his wings clattered against the table so excitedly he figured it was better not to.

He could barely concentrate now there was a date. Ragnor didn’t even try and get him to do anything practical. Instead it was reading, and in the afternoons tiring Alec out with archery. When the day of came he was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. He’d made sure his room was clean, his books were hidden back in Ragnor’s personal library and Magnus’s calendar stuffed into the farthest recesses of his chest.

He glamoured his wings just as he felt the portal opening up outside, and rushed down to see all four foot something of his little brother.

“Alec!” 

He caught Max as he ran into Alec’s legs, clinging on and making sure his wings were as far away from his back as he could get them. God it was nice to see him. “You’ve grown.” He had, making Alec wonder what he would look like the next time he was allowed to see Max. 

Max pulled back, “Only like a little. Dad says you were my height when you were eight too so, I’m definitely going to be bigger than you.”

“Oh really?” Alec challenged. He was quite happy being the tallest in the family. It meant he could look down on his siblings when they did stupid shit like drink on a work night. 

“Yes really,” Max looked back, “Right dad,” and it was just then that Alec saw the other visitor Ragnor had brought.

Robert gave a warm smile to Max, it dropping slightly when he faced Alec. “It’s good to see you.”

If he were Jace, he probably would have been able to come up with something good. Something that would tell dad just how much it was his fault that he hadn’t seen Alec in over a year. But he wasn’t Jace and, honestly, his anger was taking a back burner now he had at least part of his family in person. “It’s good to see you too.”

They went inside, Alec not sure what to do now his dad was there. Max didn’t appear to see his hesitation, being eight and all, and was instead taking in Ragnor’s home. “Lot of books,” he said to Alec.

“He’s got more upstairs.”

Max nodded, and it showed just how much he’d grown in the past year since he didn’t wipe his hands over any of the books he looked at. “What’s your room like then? Can I see it?”

That Alec happily showed him. “It’s not much. I like the view better in here though,” Alec said, letting Max investigate the hooks, his sword and the other trinkets Alec had picked up along the way.

“It’s nice,” Robert said, having followed them up. “The bed’s okay for you too right?” He muttered, at least remembering that much about Alec.

Alec nodded. He grabbed Max before he could start rifling through Alec’s chest, knowing it was one thing not to touch Ragnor’s stuff and another to be nosy about his own brothers. “Right you, tell me everything that I’ve been missing.”

“It’s not that interesting,” Max insisted, eyes still on Alec’s chest.

“Are you kidding? You’re the only Lightwood that’s been to the other Institutes. I’m sure you have tonnes of stories to tell, and I want to hear them.”

Max did, although he started off a little hesitant. Pretty soon however he was testing out Alec’s bed telling him about all the trouble he got in at the Paris Institute. 

Alec hadn’t known how much he’d missed Max until now. Before, yeah, he’d felt the loneliness, and he’d wanted to see his brother. But he’d forced himself to push it to the back of his mind. Here, with Max jumping about, being his usual funny self, it drove home just how limited their time was together. That Alec probably wasn’t going to see him for another year, and who knew how much he would have missed then. 

At some point, Robert went off to find Ragnor. Alec probably should have been worried, what with their history and all that. But Max was here, and Max was consistently trying to root through his chest.

The reason for why Alec found out when Max poked his head out the door and came back in, shutting it firmly behind him. With an almost eager look on his face he bounced back to Alec and whispered, “Can you open portals yet?”

“What?” Why on earth would Max-

“How about those fire ball things? Can you do those?”

Magic. Max was talking about magic. More importantly, he was talking about Alec doing magic. “Max, what are you going on about? I can’t do any of that.”

Max nodded, “I guess they are quite advanced. But dad said you should know at least a little bit of magic by now.”

Dad. Dad had been talking about him. To Max. Out loud. Max knew. “Max,” he shot a quick look to the door, never mind that everyone in this house knew, “What exactly do you know?”

Max shrugged, “Not much, they don’t talk about you a lot,” not what Alec meant but it was nice to have some answers to his questions. 

“But you know?” Alec pressed, “You know that I- that I’m a-”

“That you’re a  _ warlock? _ ” Max whispered, nodding his head. “It kind of makes sense. I mean, you’re not wearing your runes Alec.”

His hand went to his neck, remembering that, once upon a time, he used to paint his runes on. Every morning he’d stand there with his phone and meticulously make sure his runes weren’t a smidge different to how they’d been the day before. It was hell finding something that wouldn’t run. Especially when Jace demanded a sparring match. “Oh.” He tried to think of when else he’d forgotten to put them on. He didn’t think he had them that morning Raphael was here. He’d seen Alec before. He’d seen the runes as well. Did he know?

Magnus, Alec had quickly explained away, but Raphael wouldn’t be fooled. Not unless he’d wiped Alec from his memory. It had been years between their first few encounters and the one at his birthday party. Maybe Alec was okay.

But other times. Like when he was on the phone with Izzy and Jace. Had he remembered to put them on then?

“What’s your warlock mark?” Max continued like he couldn’t see Alec was having a breakdown.

“Er,” he absentmindedly flung his glamour off.

If Max was interested before he was damn near enamored now as he took in Alec’s wings. “Woah.” 

The short tugging at one of his feather snapped him out of his meltdown, Alec jerking his wing out of Max’s grip, “Careful, they’re attached to me you know.”

“Can you fly?” Max grabbed them again, gentler this time so Alec let him do it.

“Kind of. Not for long.”

Max’s head poked over Alec’s shoulder, “Do you think you could carry me?”

Alec considered Max’s weight. “Probably not. I can barely keep myself upright.”

He pouted, but quickly went back to rubbing his hands all over Alec’s feathers. “They’re so soft. Can I have one?”

What was with people and wanting his feathers. “Er, sure, but don’t pluck one,” he snapped before Max could, reaching over to where he’d piled up Magnus’s feathers and taking one out. “Here. If anyone asks you got it off a bird, okay.”

“Sure.”

“Max,” Alec insisted, grabbing his little brother so he could see him, “This is serious. No one can know okay. No one. It’s dangerous.”

Max nodded asking, “Is this like the gay thing?”

Oh for- “How many people do you eavesdrop on?” Since there was no way anyone but Izzy had mentioned something like that to him. “Yes, Max,” he insisted before he could get an answer, “It’s like the  _ gay  _ thing. Okay? No telling anyone. Don’t even speak to mom and dad about it.”

“But I can speak to you about it?” Max made sure.

Alec shook his head, “Not even me. Not unless I say so, okay? You have to promise Max and you have to mean it.”

“Okay okay.”

He made Max sure he knew just how dire this was before dragging him out of his room. “There’s no spell books in there, just clothes,” and downstairs to where the proper spell books were. Setting up one of the sofas, he plonked Max down with a book on demon summoning and went to go find his dad. 

Thankfully, Robert was in the kitchen. Alec asked Ragnor, kindly, if he could watch Max for a few minutes, and thankfully the man did, leaving Alec alone to lay into his dad about just why it wasn’t a good idea to not put up a silencing rune.

“He heard you,” Alec hissed, and since his wings were still out Max knew for certain now. “He’s eight, he hears everything, how could you have thought fighting in the room over was a good idea? How could you think talking at all about me was a good idea?”

It took a moment for his dad to catch up. A little longer before he muddled through the fact Max knew about Alec. As soon as he did, he definitely looked sorry even as he told Alec, “What your mother and I discuss is nothing for you to concern yourself with.”

“It is when it’s about me. Why haven’t you rang dad? Why hasn’t mom? Why do I have to hear how you are from Izzy and Jace? Why-”

“Alec,” He found himself in another hug, his dad taking a few careful breaths in his ear. When he pulled back, he certainly wasn’t as freaked out as Alec was. Or, if he was, he wasn’t showing it as his eyes darted to the closed door. “I’ll talk to your brother. But Max shouldn’t have been able to hear anything unless he was hanging around outside. You know what your brother’s like-” He held a hand up before Alec could start, “That being said, you’re right, we need to be more careful. It’s no use keeping you here if we’re just going to blab to anyone in earshot.”

Which was sort of an improvement. 

“And,” His dad still hadn’t let him go, even shorter than Alec now he still had a way of making Alec feel small. Protected. “Alec, if you think your mother and I haven’t wanted to phone you, to check on you, then I’m sorry, that’s our fault. But we did son. You have no idea how hard this is for us.”

“Then why-”

“Because the Clave is questioning us,” Robert said, Alec surprised he was hearing about this at all. Robert’s eyes dipped back to the closed door, a little scorn in his tone as he said, “I suppose Ragnor has told you about our days in the Circle by now.”

“He tried not to,” Alec defended.

“He would,” Robert said, “Ragnor’s a good… man.” Warlock? Was he going to say warlock there? “Alec these questionings, they’re not done in a private room. Half of Idris is present and all it would take is one wrong mention of your name and we could be telling them about you.”

“But they wouldn’t be able to unless… oh.” Unless they were using the soul sword. “Right. So, that’s why then.”

“They’ve all but forgotten about you by now Alec,” Robert said, “We managed to skirt our way around revealing anything the first time around, I don’t think we’ll be so lucky this time. If they think to ask why we defected from Valentine again-”

“I get it.” They’d have to say because of Alec, and when asked what made Alec so special they’d have to say because their son was a Downworlder. That they’d been breaking the rules of the Institute for years by allowing him to live there. If they knew Alec was a warlock from the start he doubted he would have been the reason their parents were simply grounded. He’d probably have been taken from them, placed who knew where while his parents were executed or imprisoned.

“We love you Alec. You know that right?” Robert made sure.

He nodded, looking at his dad, “I know.”

They joined Max after another few minutes, Alec ignoring the looks Robert was giving his wings in favour of showing Max his own studies. He got it. It was weird for him to have them visible for this long as well. He wasn’t even sure his dad had even looked at them properly in years. The only times he saw them was when he was trying to remove them, and neither of them were truly looking at them when that was happening.

“... oh and he used to teach at the Academy,” Alec said, grabbing a few books he’d spied Ragnor had wrote just for his teaching. “It’s all about the principalities of runes and their uses outside the realm of demon fighting.”

Max ate it all up and ended up quizzing Ragnor more about his knowledge of shadowhunters than Alec’s potion making skills. It was kind of nice being able to talk about it to someone else, and Max thought everything was cool so it didn’t leave Alec feeling like he had to be ashamed of what he was learning.

But, like all things, Max couldn’t stay. He had demons to prepare to slay and all that, and his dad had to get back to New York.

“Really I was just supposed to drop this one off. The rules of our exile were very clear,” Robert said, the four of them standing outside. 

“I’m glad you came,” Alec said. “I’m glad both of you came.” He hugged Max extra tight, telling his dad, “You need to get him a phone. He’s in a different country dad, what if something happens.”

“He’s eight,” Robert said.

“And he’s gonna be fighting demons in like three years,” Alec pointed out. “Get him a phone. Cap it if you have to.”

His dad just rolled his eyes, but he was most likely thinking about it as he hugged Alec one last time and let Ragnor led the two of them through to London. When he returned, he gave one long look to Alec, like he was deciding whether to say something or not. 

He chose not.

Later, alone again, he thought about everything he should have been asking his dad. About the Downworlders, Jace’s parabatai and mom’s meetings. But, as Ragnor pointed out, the less his dad knew Alec knew the less they could pull out of him with the soul sword. 

So Alec was left with little answers and more questions. 

Questions he certainly weren’t going to get answered in the near future. So he tried to focus, again, on his studies and building up his stamina flying.

He could, pretty accurately, shoot while in the air by now. It was fun too. But the amount of time he could stay up was still bordering on the hour, hour and a half timeline. He started trying different techniques, gliding more than flapping, maybe taking up different weights to build up strength. He got a little better with it. Not to the extent he would have liked, but certainly long enough that, should anything happen, he could fly to the nearest village and hide out there until help came.

“What’s it this month?” Ragnor asked, popping his head in Alec’s room as he looked for his tie.

Alec glanced up, seeing the new photo that Magnus had skillfully taken for him, “See for yourself.”

It wasn’t Alec’s favourite, that was saved for February, but it wasn’t hard on the eyes either. Magnus had chosen to go shirtless, again and was being painted like a renaissance model by an arguably questionable cat. Alec was half sure it was photoshopped, there was no way Magnus had actually got his cat to pose like that. Not to mention it was a different cat every month. No one had that many cats.

Unless he was stealing them from shelters, which, Alec wouldn’t have put past him.

“Honestly,” Ragnor sighed, shaking his head, “You’d think he had nothing better to do.”

Alec thought it was kind of flattering Magnus had put all this effort into spiting him. It certainly helped fuel those long nights where Alec couldn’t sleep.

Not that he’d tell Magnus that.

Or, actually admit to it. 

It was just something that came to mind when Alec was alone on the moors with his wings covering certain things from sight. 

“Found it.” He did the damn thing up, then let Ragnor do it when it apparently wasn’t presentable. “Where abouts are we going again?”

“The theatre. Your brother chose it. I’m actually quite impressed with his taste.”

Meaning Alec was either going to love it or hate it. 

Turned out it was a little of both. He liked it, what he’d seen of it anyway, but at some point he’d fallen asleep in the intermission and when he woke, for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what was going on. He didn’t get away with trying to bluff his way out of it either. Max had heard him snoring, meaning Alec was going to get crap for this the rest of his life.

“It’s past your bedtime, go bother someone else,” Alec said, nudging Max to where the secret entrance to the London Institute lay.

“Fine,” Max huffed, turning to Ragnor, “Make sure this one doesn’t pass out on his way home will you. You’ll probably have to leave him there he’s so heavy.”

“I will sit on you,” Alec warned, nudging Max again. “Get lost.”

“Love you too,” Max called, slipping into the old church.

“He’s sweet,” Ragnor said, Alec agreeing with him there. Max was sweet. To other people. To Alec he was just a nightmare, and if he called Alec fat again he seriously was going to sit on him. See how his shadowhunter training had taught him to get out of that hold.

They had a few more meetings with Max before he was transferred to another Institute. Always they made sure that Max slipped out, that no one saw them together, and it worked. For those brief five months Alec had his family back. He even saw Max on their birthdays, which definitely made up for last years let down.

But Max had to go, and Alec had to stay.

Probably just in time too. Not even a week after Max left Ragnor told him they were getting a visitor, and Alec didn’t have to think hard to know who.

Magnus Bane just on the tail end of October decided to drop in for one of his visits. Only this time he wasn’t alone. 

“He’s getting gloomy again,” Magnus said, pushing Raphael gently in front so the vampire could lean his head in a half hug on Ragnor’s shoulder. “Can you tell him there’s more to life than suffering? I’ve tried my best but he still doesn’t believe me.”

Ragnor gave Raphael’s head a little pat, steering him towards the stairs, “How about we have a drink? Hmm?”

Raphael nodded, the two of them disappearing to Ragnor’s study without one joke from Magnus about Ragnor deciding to have fun. This really must be serious. 

As soon as they were gone Magnus, hands on hips, twirled to face Alec, “Nephilim, sorry to see you’re still here.”

Alec pursed his lips, deciding not to rise to the bait. Magnus wasn’t even baiting anyway, his tone was light, it was just the words themselves that reminded Alec of how little he was welcome at home right now. “How many cats do you have?” he asked instead.

The sudden change in subject had Magnus reeling, “My cats?” He plopped himself in his usual chair.

“That calendar you gave me, it has like twenty cats on it already and we still have two months to go. No one has that many cats.” They had about five at their house in Alicante, but it wasn’t like they went there a lot so the cats needed to be there to catch the mice.

Magnus blinked a few times at him, “You kept my calendar?”

Alec shrugged, “Course I did, it was a gift.” So were the three shirts that Magnus had sent him this year with more photos of himself with cats. Alec thought they were hilarious, mainly because the cats looked so upset to be photographed. He’d had Ragnor help him modify them so Alec could wear them to bed, refusing to chuck out a birthday gift if he could help it.

He also may have wrecked a few of his shirts showing off for Max the few times he’d been over. Sparring had turned to flying and flying usually ended up in crash landings when he was dodging stray arrows Max sent his way.

Magnus seemed to be thinking for a moment, scrutinising Alec a little longer before saying, “I have one. But he has friends he likes to bring to my balcony so, about… thirteen. A little more now the winter months are setting in. I hate leaving them out in the cold.”

It was probably a stupid thing to talk about, cats, but Alec had nothing else he could think of in common with Magnus, and, from experience, it took a while for the prickly exterior to wear down before he’d be willing to swap stories from his lucrative past again.

So, “We have a white one in Alicante. She had kittens last time I was over there,” About sixteen years ago now so who knew if they were all still alive. Come to think of it, the only reason he’d probably been there in the first place was because his parents were being questioned or something.

He’d enjoyed that month too. Just him and Izzy running around the Lightwood estate watching the other shadowhunter youths ride their horses and begging their parents for their own.

“I heard white ones were more ill tempered,” Alec went on, “You have a white one too right?” He’d seen the little thing in June, where Magnus had decided to sun himself oiled up on a pool lounger surrounded by his adoring sea of cats.

“I did,” Magnus said, “I’m afraid I haven’t seen the Great Catsby in a while. He’s probably found himself a queen to shack up with.” He hesitated only a moment before admitting, “He did have a bit of a temper on him now that I think about it.”

“The Great Catsby?” Alec asked. “Where do you come up with these names?”

“You don’t like them?” 

“No I do,” He wished he was half that creative. “It’s just my naming technique is limited to things like Fluffy and Whiskers or something. When I was allowed to name anything anyway. Izzy was quite insistent that she had jurisdiction on any and all animal names should the need arise.” Hence Princess Fluffy of the Iron Sisters had been born as well as her four kittens Alec couldn’t remember the names of right now.

Magnus hummed, “Your sister does look like the authoritative type. She takes a bit after her mother in that regard.”

“Don’t tell her that,” Alec huffed, “Her and mom are still stuck in that fighting phase apparently all teenage girls go through.” According to his dad anyway. Alec thought it was more the fact they were were so stubborn they refused to even listen to the other. 

He didn’t even know why he told Magnus that.

They talked a little more about cats, Magnus hopping to the floor in front of him to show Alec magic images of his cats. Some of them were new, some of them were in Alec’s calendar. He was surprised when they happened upon Chairman. A man like Magnus Alec would have supposed he’d choose a purebred cat for his sole indoor cat. Instead, there was a chubby tabby with stubby legs staring up at Alec.

More than adorable. “Do you not like purebreeds?” 

Magnus shook his head, “I like all kinds of cats. But the purebreds always have homes. These poor little things that come up to my loft are often the ones no one cares about. I found Chairman in a box down an alley actually. His brother and sister are off with other warlocks who needed some company. I thought Ragnor would have been one of them but, well, he ended up getting you so I supposed I wasn’t entirely wrong.”

Alec ignored the jibe. “We have one at the Institute. I don’t know if you’ve seen him. He’s quite ill tempered, so if you do happen upon him just watch out.”

“I doubt I’ll bump into him. Not until those little meetings Maryse set up have stopped anyway. I’m surprised to see her even out of the Institute.” 

“Wait,” Alec said, “You mean she can’t go out the Institute?”

“Grounded is grounded,” Magnus shrugged, “Meaning no demon hunting, no travelling, no going out to buy new booties for her brood. What a life she must live in there.”

“You don’t like her,” Alec said.

“She did try to kill me,” Magnus nodded. “And she succeeded in killing a few of my friends. She may have changed now, but it doesn’t wipe the blood she’s already spilled from her hands.”

Alec held his hands up, “I’m not trying to make you like her. I’m just making conversation.” and was quite happy with how well he’d been doing too. So far there’d been no blips or lapses or Magnus reverting to trying to subtly kick Alec out. Well, until now that was. He thought quickly about how to get them back on track. “I got more feathers for you.”

There, that had Magnus back in a good mood. He practically dragged Alec up, pushing him to go fetch them.

Since it had been a while since Magnus had last come here, or, come here when he wasn’t half bleeding out, Alec had quite a pile for him. He’d molted shortly before summer ended, Ragnor still unsure if it was a seasonal molt or just something that happened at random times of the year. Regardless, he’d molted, Ragnor had his pick of the pile and he’d broken the ones Max hadn’t stole up enough there looked to be far more than had actually dropped off.

Magnus emptied the whole bag out as soon as Alec turned with it. In a matter of seconds his room was a mess of feathers, Magnus spreading his hands over every single one of them. He meticulously inspected them, rubbing them against his face, even sniffing them at one point, before putting them one by one back into the bag.

It was only when he’d finished, bag snapped to God knew where, that Magnus realised he was basically lounging on Alec’s bed. A curious gleam came into his eye as he did the once over he probably would have done had Alec not been holding a bag of goodies. He spotted the calendar all too quickly, face lighting up like he honestly thought Alec had been lying to him. 

“Did you get my shirts too?” Magnus asked.

“Yeah, they’re in there,” he sat on the chest however just in case Magnus decided to root through it like Max. 

Magnus pouted a little, getting himself further on the bed. It didn’t look like he was going to be moving anytime soon. “Not going to try them on for me? I only guessed your size.”

“They fit,” Alec insisted. He was not going to do a fashion show for Magnus Bane. He’d already had enough of that growing up with Izzy. Not to mention he knew how long it took him to get ready on a morning, it wasn’t as simple as just shrugging a shirt on. Not for him. 

“Fine,” Magnus sighed, “But we need something to do. Or, I do,” He ran his eyes over Alec again. It took willpower he didn’t know he possessed to not let himself turn red at that look. “What exactly does Ragnor do for fun when I’m not here?”

That Alec could answer. “Painting, fencing, archery, reading, more reading, calls Raphael and taunts me with ideas of getting animals then remembers he can’t be bothered to look after them a week later.” 

Magnus narrowed his eyes, “Let me guess… a pony?”

“How did you-?”

“I’ve been around shadowhunters before Alexander. Riding is one of the Nephilim’s only fun hobbies. And not always with a horse,” He sent a pointed look somewhere Alec was not following. “Raphael’s probably going to be here for a few days, so how about we go riding tomorrow?”

“Riding… horses?” Alec made sure.

Magnus grinned, all teeth, but agreed, “Yes, horses. Although say the word Nephilim. Just because I don’t want you around my friend doesn’t mean I’m not up to keeping you for myself.”

His face did colour at that. 

“But that doesn’t solve our problem of tonight,” Magnus went on, “It’s still early here and I for one do not want to join the depression session happening a floor above us.”

Alec wanted to ask but, in all honesty, he was scared of the answer. “Well, what do you want to do?”

Magnus answered almost too quickly, “I want to go dancing. But,” again that once over, this time with less of the interest, “I honestly don’t think they’d let you into my kind of establishment.”

Alec shrugged, “Then don’t take me. So long as you’re back by morning I don’t think they’ll care if you take off.”

“True.” He considered the ceiling for a moment. “No. One drink will lead to ten and I probably won’t even make it back here. Still…” he dragged his phone out, stretching out on Alec’s mattress as he looked something up.

Alec tried to ignore it as much as he could, but he was sure even Raphael could hear his heart beating that little bit too quickly as Magnus’s shirt rode up. That, along with the fact he was on Alec’s bed, was doing things to him he certainly didn’t appreciate right now.

“Salsa!” 

He almost jumped a foot in the air, “What?”

Magnus sat up, “Salsa dancing. There’s a class on in half an hour.” he got up, doing a little dance that ended with him stretching his hand out, “What say you shadowhunter? Want to show me what they teach you in Alicante?”

He eyed the hand, and the man holding it out. “I er, I’m not a very good dancer.”

“That’s why there’s classes for it.”

Which was a fair point. He considered Magnus’s hand a little more. He didn’t particularly want to be here, not if Raphael was upset. They probably wanted privacy, and Alec knew his presence here wasn’t welcome. 

It would be nice to get out too. Ragnor had been a little hesitant about taking him places lately, and he surely wouldn’t object since it was Magnus. Powerful, Magnus that could certainly defend both of them if it came down to it.

“I guess.”

“Great!” Magnus gave him one last once over, “I don’t suppose you have another shirt?”

“I’ll change.” He knew this one had a noticeable hole at the bottom. He’d been planning on stitching it up at some point. “Should I put special shoes on or-”

Apparently not from the way Magnus laughed his way out the door. 

Making sure it shut behind the warlock, he dug out a nice, formal, shirt and told himself in the mirror seven times that he was not going to step on Magnus’s foot. Definitely not.

It worked too. Not once did Alec step on Magnus’s foot.

He did however, fall down more than he wanted to admit. “The twirls were confusing,” Alec defended as Magnus handed an ice pack to him.

“Sure they were.” 

It was dark, the two of them hiding away in a cafe as Magnus looked up the best place to eat out. When in Rome and all that. Or, in this case, Manchester. 

“No, really, they were.” Turns out dancers did need some kind of fancy shoe since his slipped all over the place as soon as he stepped foot on that stupid floor. “It’s not funny.”

“Oh it is,” Magnus insisted. “All the fancy fighting techniques in the world and you trip trying to step in time to a song.”

It wasn’t fair. He’d really tried to be good too. But then he’d been separated from Magnus, put with a woman that was far too handsy for his liking and when he finally got back to Magnus he’d been so distracted with whatever soap the other man used that he’d ended up forgetting half the moves he was meant to be performing. Hence the sore thighs. 

“Okay,” Magnus announced, flipping his phone around, “We have several, quite well starred, establishments within walking distance. What do you fancy?”

“Honestly?” He didn’t even glance at the places Magnus had found, “A New York pizza.” Ragnor had conjured some up every now and then, which made the cravings that little easier to ignore. But Alec didn’t know what it was, being in England or just how his brain worked, but it didn’t taste the same. “I dunno,” he sighed, “Just pick whatever you like. I’m sure I’ll enjoy whatever you do.”

Magnus’s phone drilled into the table for a moment before he started scrolling again. “If Ragnor hadn’t made me promise to keep you in the country I would take you for pizza. Just remember that okay.”

“Sure.” If Ragnor hadn’t made Magnus promise to keep Alec in the country he knew Magnus would have made good on that promise. Just like he knew straight afterwards Magnus would have shoved Alec into the nearest shadowhunter and told Ragnor he’d ‘ran away’. “How are things over there anyway? Ragnor doesn’t tell me much, but every so often he gets this look on his face. They’re starting to kill the warlocks they’ve captured aren’t they?”

Yellow eyes flicked up to meet his own, “Ragnor tells you a lot doesn’t he.”

Alec shook his head, “But I’m not stupid. I speak to Izzy and Jace back home,” Or he used to before that whole parabatai thing, “And dad…” he couldn’t tell Magnus his dad had outright said he was here for his own protection. “I’m not stupid.”

“I never said you were,” Magnus said, still staring at Alec, “Just, unconcerned I suppose. The rest of your kind is.”

“Yeah well maybe the rest of my kind needs to wise up and realise that there’s more people allowed to live on this world than shadowhunters and mundanes.”

“Such a sweet talker,” Magnus muttered, flicking through his phone a few more times before helping Alec up. “Alright shadowhunter, time to go.”

The restaurant Magnus picked was much more high class than Alec had been expecting. Despite being from an influential family, he wasn’t all that versed with dressing up and looking the part. Mainly these days he lived in torn up sweatshirts. Even in his nice shirt Alec found himself wishing he’d maybe wore that suit Raphael had sent him. Then again, if he had he probably would have been groped even more by that lady in the dance class.

It was cosy anyway, intimate almost. The food smelled good too. 

He let Magnus order for him, still not all that sure what would taste good in places like this. His eating out experience consisted of waiting in line at a fast food joint while his mom screamed at him over the phone for not being at the Institute. 

Conversation was slow. Namely because Magnus’s phone kept buzzing now it had unlimited access to wifi. Alec supposed the High Warlock of Brooklyn must be in high demand, but from the look on Magnus’s face when he looked at the screen, he wasn’t too sure it was for simple things like potions and quabbles. 

“I may have to come back for Raphael,” Magnus said as they walked the streets, Alec munching on the second desert he’d ordered to go.

“I’m not gonna hurt him if that’s why you don’t want to leave.” A shot in the dark, but Magnus was already twitchy leaving Ragnor in Alec’s care.

A wrong shot in the dark it appeared as Magnus snorted. So, not Alec’s potential danger then, just good old fashioned worry for his friend. “I’m sure it can wait,” Magnus decided, shoving his phone away. Surprisingly, he linked arms with Alec not long afterwards. He also tried to nab some of his cake. “I paid for it.”

Something Alec hadn’t been happy about. He held the cake high regardless, “You didn’t want a second desert. I told you when we were in there don’t come crying to me when you’re still hungry.” It was like he’d been trying to not embarrass himself. Like when Izzy went on dates with guys. Order as little food as possible, something that wouldn’t spill or smear and take care not to look like an animal as he devoured what pitiful thing he ordered.

“That’s not fair,” he tried reaching for it, Alec holding it higher. 

He gave in after a moment. If only because he realised how close Magnus was when he was leaning up to grab the cake. They were almost nose to nose, Alec able to see every shimmer of glitter on Magnus’s face under the dull street lights. The shine highlighting his hair that was streaked with pink, the way his shirt was open far lower than Alecs and that, if he looked down, he’d probably be able to see Magnus’s chest. Maybe even see the dark bump of a nippe. He’d seen Magnus’s chest before. The calendar wasn’t exactly shy about it. But it was one thing it being a photo or Magnus bleeding to death, and the other having it so close to his own if Alec breathed a certain way he could probably brush against it.

He let Magnus go in victory, suddenly not so hungry as he tried to sort himself out. Magnus didn’t seem to notice, doing that thing again as he tried to eat as politely as he could. 

It was cute.

He reached over and grabbed some with his fingers, stuffing it into his own mouth. “It’s like you’re trying to impress me,” he said, “Just stuff it in. I know you’re hungry.”

There was an aghast ‘o’ to Magnus’s mouth that slowly grew considering. A few steps more and Alec caught out the corner of his eye Magnus finally eating properly, even licking his fingers clean.

“I’ll buy you a burger,” Alec said, knowing they’d passed a fast food joint on their way here. “Fries or no fries?”

“Fries,” Magnus said after a moment, like he was still waiting for the shoe to drop. “And a drink,” he added after another moment. “And a toy. Chairman likes the cuddly ones. If it’s plastic don’t bother.”

He got himself some ice cream, pointing out when Magnus gave him a look that his second desert had been pilfered. “You use a fork in here and I’m leaving you,” Alec said, eyeing the way Magnus was looking at the burger. “You live in New York, act like it.”

“People in New York have class you know,” Magnus said, getting sauce on fingers Alec was still talking himself out of licking. God what had happened to him. 

“Yeah I just proved they do,” Alec said, both of them knowing he’d behaved impeccably in that restaurant. “But they also know you don’t eat a burger with a fork.”

Magnus rotated the burger in his fingers a little more before taking one large bite out of it. “Happy?”

He couldn’t help grinning at the small dribble of sauce on Magnus’s lip. “Very.”

They ate everything, Alec telling him outright next time if he pulled that kind of crap again he was going to actually cook for Magnus, damn right give him an excuse not to eat it. “Trust me, you don’t waste good food. I grew up with a sister who thought it was her right in life to feed us.” Namely because mom and dad were too busy to do it. “And who was shit at it. I’m not even sugar coating it. If Izzy made you something, you had to throw that thing out before it ate you, it’s bad. I used to sneak out because of it.” The amount of times he’d had to force something into his gut before pretending he was full was sickening to this day. “And I’m only marginally better than that so, good luck to you I guess.”

“Call me suitably warned,” Magnus agreed.

They portalled back once Alec had made sure Magnus didn’t want anything else. The house was silent when they got in, Alec wondering if they should check on the others. 

“They’re fine,” Magnus promised. “I can feel Ragnor’s energy, it’s still active. If someone had broken in here, which I doubt is even possible, I’d know about it.”

“Okay.” He trusted Magnus.

He kicked his boots off when he got upstairs, happily flopping onto his back and letting the aches of the evening work themselves out. It was only when he sat up to take his shirt off that he realised he’d been followed. He thought Magnus would have went to his own room, God knows it still glowed after all these months. Yet there he was, lounging in Alec’s doorway, a glint in his eye that told Alec he knew exactly what came after boots and he wasn’t shy about watching it happen.

“Er.”

Those eyes glowed as they flickered to where Alec kept the odd trinkets he’d bought out with Ragnor. They were also where he kept the nail polish that Magnus had given him for his last, and this, birthday. “If Raphael’s not down tomorrow I don’t suppose you’ll let me do your nails again?”

“Sure.” 

He had a feeling that wasn’t what Magnus had wanted to say, yet the man left after that anyway. Alec breathing easy for all of two seconds before Magnus’s glittery head poked back around, “For future reference, you’re not supposed to take off until after the goodbye kiss on a first date.”

First- “This-” What? “This wasn’t a date.”

He could probably have said it until he was blue in the face and still Magnus would have just smirked and walked off, this time Alec’s door closing between them and giving him the privacy he needed to work out what had just happened.

Turns out sleep was easier to find than an answer, Alec waking up to more pain in his body than that time Izzy had decided she wanted to try her new whip out on him. God dancing was the worst. 

He glamoured himself, stumbling to the bathroom only to find it locked.

That had never happened before.

He tried the handle again, then remembered they had house guests and not every room in this old place had their own bathroom. Meaning Alec was left to slide to the floor and catch ten more minutes of sleep as he waited for whoever it was to be done.

Raphael kicked his foot lightly, raising a brow at the now free bathroom. “All yours Nephilim.” He didn’t look any happier than he had yesterday, slouching his way back to the blacked out room Ragnor always kept for when he visited. 

He wondered what vampires even did in the bathroom as he brushed his teeth. Obviously, they brushed their teeth too. If Alec were a vampire he wouldn’t want bloody breath all day. But, technically, they were dead, right? So, did their bodies still require flushing things out? Showers he understood, even if he knew vampires didn’t sweat. 

Maybe it was just habit. 

Still, it was far too early in the morning for Raphael to be up, even if he was just doing it out of habit. Honestly, Raphael was the weirdest vampire Alec had ever met and apparently he didn’t know the half of it according to Magnus.

Ragnor was still in bed. “Probably with Raphael,” Magnus said, learning his lesson from last night and conjuring enough for both of them to stuff their faces. 

Alec raised a brow, hissing, “You mean they’re...?” 

Magnus pursed his lips, starting a few times before admitting, “I honestly don’t know.Sometimes I think maybe but others I just, I honestly don’t know. It’s not my place to ask I guess.”

No, Alec supposed not. Nor was it his either. “I always thought Ragnor and Catarina were something.”

Magnus hummed nodding, “Like I said, it’s complicated. I don’t think Ragnor realises how many people he’s got wrapped around his finger. If he did, maybe I’d have some answers for you. All I know is that both of them would rather run to Ragnor than myself and, honestly I don’t blame them.”

Yeah, “He’s pretty great.”

“He is.”

They waited downstairs for a little while, seeing if either of them would be coming down. But when eleven came and still no company Magnus got his phone out and announced a few minutes later that they were going out.

Alec cleaned himself up again, shoving another good shirt on. Then wished he hadn’t when Magnus portalled them to a stretch of land with a stable in near the road.

He knew he’d care, later, that he was going to wreck his fancy pants, but as soon as he saw the horses all he could think was that seven year old Alec was finally achieving his dream.

It was a lesson, thankfully, Magnus snickering the whole time as Alec asked fifty dozen questions all from, “Are you sure this won’t hurt the horse?” to “How do I go left again?” He had a bit of trouble mounting, which, again, he got laughed at for, and save a few hiccups Alec felt on top of the world.

They stayed inside the pen, or fence or whatever it was called for the hour they’d paid for. Yet, somehow, Magnus managed to pull some strings afterwards, and on a few more experienced, trail horses, they went for a half hour ride.

He couldn’t stop grinning, and had Magnus take at least ten photos of him to send to Izzy. 

“Sorry for making you do that,” he said, flicking through his gallery. 

“Nonsense, it was cute.”

He didn’t know how he felt about being called cute. He didn’t get time to think about it either as Magnus took them to a castle for afternoon tea and a tour. He loved it, he felt like he was stepping back in time, and when he saw they had special renaissance days with actual jousting and-

“An archery competition,” he knew what he was doing in June.

“I knew you’d like that.” 

He read through the requirements carefully, mentally ticking boxes until he knew just what forms to fill out when they got home. 

He picked up another leaflet, “They have Christmas here.” The snow around the grounds must be a sight to see. “Maybe I could ask Ragnor if he wanted to bring his watercolours.” The gardens were still open, despite it being winter, and while there wasn’t anything spectacular flower wise the view was still amazing.

“He’d probably enjoy that.”

They strolled through the old halls, Magnus, every now and then, leaning in close to whisper some tid bit of information that the tour guide didn’t know about or just left out.

“Orgies, every month,” Magnus muttered this time as they passed the parlour room.

“Weren’t men only allowed in here?” 

Magnus raised a brow.

“Oh.”

“It’s amazing how much history likes to keep out of its white heterosexual books.”

Alec was starting to learn how true that was. He wondered, in a few hundred years time, if he’d be the one telling someone else about the unknown history in places he’d frequented. 

His phone buzzed when they finally sat down for afternoon tea. The wifi showed him at least fifty messages from Izzy, all showing different emoticons or curses against Alec’s very existence that he got to ride a horse before her. He shoved it back in his pocket extremely pleased.

They got more cakes than sandwiches, Magnus pointing out a statue he vaguely remembered destroying three hundred years ago. “They must have redone it.”

“Or, maybe you only thought you destroyed it,” Alec suggested. “How much do actually remember of the incident?”

Magnus thought for a moment before squinting at the statue. “I may have to ask Ragnor,” he admitted.

“Do you think they’ll be awake?” Alec asked when he finished his first cup of tea. “I saw Raphael this morning, he didn’t look any better.”

“I doubt he will be,” Magnus sighed. “And probably not. Rapahel likes to be up early, but even he has nothing to really get up for today.” Magnus’s finger circled the rim of his cup a few moments before he said, “Raphael’s sister has been moved to a nursing home.”

Oh. “God.” He was eighty, meaning he had to still have family left. It hit him, right there, that Alec was going to be Rapahel one day. He was going to be the one crawling over to Ragnor’s because his sister or brothers were in a nursing home.

If they lived that long, and just the thought that he wouldn’t see them grow old, that he wouldn’t have their proper time on this earth to see and cherish them. He felt robbed. He felt sick even.

“It wasn’t really my place to tell you, but I didn’t want you to say anything insensitive. Not that I think you would. But, people say stupid things sometimes not even knowing they’re stupid.”

Alec nodded, stuffing another cake in his mouth. How was it going to happen? A demon attack? A vampire? A sparring session gone wrong? What was going to cut his family’s life short? “Is- is he going to be okay?”

Magnus shrugged, “I’ve seen people go through this before, it hits everyone differently. Raphael was always a family man, his sisters were his life. She’s the last one left, and her children haven’t been as supportive of her as Raphael would have liked. He was talking about moving in with her, but she doesn’t live in a vampire safe apartment, and Raphael is already on thin ice with her children so,” Magnus sighed, “I brought him here.”

Alec forced the cake down. He didn’t want to keep talking about this, but he didn’t want to appear insensitive. He felt panic welling with every second he sat there. He wanted to go home. He wanted to see Max and his sister. He wanted to see Jace and his parents. He wanted to sit and be told off for running away if that was what they were going to do, but he couldn’t go home and-

“I have to pee,” he choked out, almost running to the bathroom, locking the first stall he found and sliding to the floor. He barely stopped the first scream ripping his throat, the rest of them quiet enough he muffled them in his arm. He was gonna lose his family. Maybe not today, but he was going to lose them at some point, and Alec didn’t know what he’d do when that happened.

Would he forget about them? He knew faces faded in memory, that sound and smells could only linger around for so long before someone forgot about that too. 

He’d been prepped for death since he was a kid. But the thing about that was he always thought he’d be going not long after them. This, right now, was just a blip in his lifespan. 

He ended up vomiting up his afternoon tea, working himself up so much he didn’t leave the stall for a good ten minutes.

When he did, splashing his face to get rid of some of the redness, he was so dead to the world he didn’t even realise Magnus was leaning on the wall leading out until he looked up. “Should I be worried about food poisoning?” Magnus asked.

He sniffed, hoping there wasn’t any vomit left on his face, “Er, maybe. I just didn’t feel well.”

“Obviously,” Magnus huffed, chancing coming closer to lay a hand over Alec’s forehead. “Well you don’t feel warm. How’s your stomach?”

He nodded, wiping his face again, “Good. I think I got it all out.”

Despite his harsh once over, Magnus looked more worried than annoyed as he led Alec to a private place to portal back. “Nonsense,” Magnus said when Alec insisted they didn’t have to leave because of him. “If you’re not enjoying it there’s no point in being here. We’ll just have to come back another day.”

The house was quiet, even if Ragnor and Raphael were awake. They seemed to enjoy the silence, peering up from their separate parts of the living room to watch them walk in. “Have fun?” Ragnor asked.

“Until this one got sick,” Magnus agreed, going over to curl up next to his friend. “Go to bed Alexander, if it’s no better in a few hours I’ll see about healing you.”

He didn’t argue, figuring it was better catching a nap then having to explain that he wasn’t actually ill. He could phone home from his room too and almost cried again when he saw Izzy’s dishevelled head say hello to him. “Hey, I missed you.” 

“Me too,” Alec said, telling her in detail about the horse he rode that morning.

He did sleep, after. He slept the rest of the day actually, waking well into the night to a note under his door. Ragnor told him, briefly, that he’d checked on Alec, and not to worry about Magnus or Raphael catching a look at his wings. Underneath that was a less formal script telling him there was food waiting in the kitchen when he woke. He’d seen Magnus’s handwriting before, and this wasn’t that. He wondered, again, what exactly the relationship was between Ragnor and Raphael before changing out of clothes that smelled like a mental breakdown.

There was pizza, Alec actually recognising the box. It was from this place in New York he used to order from. At least he knew Ragnor would be there for him. Maybe Raphael too if the vampire cared enough to tell them they’d left him food.

He braced his hands on the table, willing himself not to think about it. It was going to happen at one point, what point was there dwelling on when that time would come? It was best to just, put it out of his mind. He couldn’t do anything anyway. He was here for his own protection, for others protection too. He wouldn’t put all that in jeopardy because he was homesick.

He warmed the pizza up, finding a nice spot outside to watch the sunrise.

Around three thirty he heard the door pointedly close back at the house. Glamouring himself, he supposed he wasn’t surprised to see Raphael sit down next to him, he was the only one that should be awake right now after all.

“I heard you rustling around,” Raphael said.

“You don’t have to make excuses.” He wouldn’t want to be alone if he were Raphael either. Not when he probably felt so alone to begin with. “How are you?”

There was a pause, a bird not far off chirping to its friends, Alec didn’t know they were up this early. “I feel better, being here. But I know it won’t last.” Alec felt eyes on him, “Magnus said he told you about my sister.”

He nodded.

“She’s a good woman. Not a saint, but she’s good.”

“I wish there was something that could be done.” He really did too. “Is there no spell or…”

Raphael shook his head, “Even if they could vampire proof the apartment, I can’t make excuses for everything. What if she falls and she needs someone to go to the hospital with?” In daylight. “What if she needs medication? I know those pharmacies don’t open after sundown in the summer.” Alec hadn’t even thought about that. “Even if I could work through all of that, if I could ask Magnus or have a mundane do it Camille made it clear I wasn’t allowed to go.”

“Because of the disappearances?” Alec guessed.

Raphael laughed, a broken thing, “You’d think wouldn’t you? I guess in a way it is as well. She just doesn’t want to let me go. She likes the power of it. Of making me beg her.”

He understood vampire hierarchy. It was difficult to ignore a clan leader. They had a whole sire thing going on to begin with, and on top of that the threat of being left in the open for anything to happen was too frightful for a vampire to ignore. The Du Mort had been made into a haven, and, in a way, it kind of was.

“I’m sorry,” Alec offered. “I know if that were Izzy I’d-” It would be Izzy some day. It might be Izzy some day actually. Hopefully. “Maybe you could ask her.”

“What?”

“Izzy. She’s…” he didn’t know how to say not an asshole like the rest of his kind in a nice way. “Well, she’s always ignoring the rules. And she knows a good soul when she sees it. If you ask her, I’m sure she’ll keep an eye on your sister when you can’t.”

Raphael shook his head before Alec finished. “No offence Nephilim, but the less people who know about my family the better.”

Yeah, he got that. Raphael was pretty high up on the food chain, and with the recent trouble with the Downworlders who knows who might take advantage of that information. 

They sat in silence the rest of the night, and only when the sun began to rise did Raphael sneak back to the house. Alec didn’t for a moment think they were friends now. Raphael just hadn’t wanted to be alone, and if Alec were honest with himself he’d enjoyed the silent company too. 

He nipped back in himself when eight came surprised, again, with the bathroom being occupied, only this time the blare of some recent pop song told him it definitely wasn’t Raphael in there. Groaning, he slid down the wall and wondered just why everyone seemed to use this one. There were others in this house. Three upstairs and two en suites on this floor yet somehow Magnus and Raphael decided to use this one. Alec knew why he was using this one, it had his stuff in it. God he hoped Magnus hadn’t spotted his underwear. He’d shoved it in the trash when it ripped for good getting past his thighs. All it would take was one used q tip and Magnus would know what kind of underwear he wore.

Well he certainly wasn’t feeling sad anymore.

Three more pop songs and the shower stopped. Another two and Alec felt his heart stop as he came face to, well, towel. It was a taunt. Had to be a taunt. He knew for a fact Magnus could magic clothes in there if he wanted to. In fact, he’d made it a point to always look his sparkly best at all times. So this, just the hair and a little bit of eyeliner, proved that it was a taunt. 

A damn good one too.

“All yours Alexander,” Magnus near purred, swagger in his steps as he walked the short distance to his room. 

He looked a mess when he caught himself in the mirror. But then, was it his fault? He’d threw up, had a mental breakdown, watched the sunrise and seen Magnus in nothing but a towel. A tiny towel that just barely covered what it needed to. 

He brushed his teeth to that image. Of Magnus’s bare legs and his hips swaying. He glanced over to the shower. He could take one. Magnus probably expected him to. He knew what he’d been wanting with that display. Alec wouldn’t take that long either, not when he remembered the way the towel had hitched on Magnus’s thighs with every step. How Alec almost caught a glimpse of… no, nope. There was a vampire here. He was not… doing that when he could be overheard.

It was one thing for Raphael to know he had a crush on him when he was twelve and a whole other for the man to hear him jerking off to thoughts of his friend. 

He finished brushing his teeth, not looking at the shower as he forced all images of Magnus away and went to scrounge up breakfast.

The kitchen was dark, for once all four of them present. Alec slid over the few leaflets he’d gathered the day before, making sure Ragnor understood how pretty this place was. “It would be nice,” Ragnor agreed after a while. “I’ve been there before.” He snapped his fingers, handing over a leaflet to Raphael, “Speaking of castles, they do ghost tours at some of them. After dark too.”

The leaflet dangled between the two of them, “You want to take me to a ghost tour?”

“I want to take you out of this house. We can go anywhere you like, I’m just putting ideas out there.”

Raphael ended up sulking off back to bed for a while before coming down later and telling them they could go stargazing, something Alec got the feel they’d done more than once before. Especially because, once Raphael went off again, Ragnor dug out a huge telescope and a casket of blankets.

It was nice, walking up the moonlit fields to a spot just outside of Ragnor’s wards. It was colder up here, Alec hearing the distant bleat of sheep from the farmers fields not far off. It wasn’t out, out, like Ragnor wanted, but it was outside, and Raphael did look happy to sit there and let Ragnor turn the telescope to different constellations. Magnus didn’t complain either, his yellow eyes glowing in the dark as he traced the stars with his fingers. 

It was peaceful up here, like most of the land Ragnor lived on. 

Alec ended up drifting off up there, blanket over his wings and stories of greek myths and faeries in his ears. 

He woke uncomfortable, as he always did when he slept on his back. This time however, there felt like a different kind of weight pinning one of his wings down. 

Turning his head, he heard the gentle purr like snores before he saw Magnus’s sleeping face. He checked, and was pleased to find he was asleep above the blanket, another one on top to keep the wind off Magnus’s own body. It was still dark outside Ragnor and Raphael on their own blanket, a torch looking over something they had between them.

Alec moved his wing a little, testing it out. It pulled at some of his feathers, but more importantly, it got a cute little chirp from Magnus. He didn’t think he wanted to risk waking the man over something that wasn’t really painful just uncomfortable. So he shifted down, flexing his wing carefully until he was at that perfect angle again that would let him get a few more hours sleep.

Ragnor woke him before Magnus, the four of them trudging back just as the sun rose over the hill. 

“We’re going back to New York today,” Magnus told him, lounging in Alec’s doorway. “Camille is calling and I can’t put off my clients any longer.”

“Okay,” He didn’t know why Magnus was telling him but okay. “Guess I’ll see you next time.”

“Guess you will,” Magnus said. He waited a little longer in Alec’s doorway before sighing, “No goodbye kiss?”

“Er…”

“First you skimp out on our date, then you throw up on our second date now no goodbye kiss.” He pointed a finger Alec’s way. “You Alexander, are a tease.”

“A-” what? Was Magnus being serious or not? He couldn’t tell. He wouldn’t put it past Magnus to be messing with him.

“Fine,” Magnus sighed, “You’re off the hook this time. But I won’t be so generous the next.”

He had to be messing with Alec. 

Whatever the case, they really were leaving. It was sad watching them go. Watching Raphael go especially. With what was waiting for him back in New York, Alec didn’t blame Magnus for bringing Raphael here, God knows he needed a break before delving into the chaos back there. 

Ragnor hung onto both of them for a good amount of time, reminding Alec, also about the disappearances, and that Ragnor was probably wondering when, if, he was ever going to see his friends again. Alec wasn’t surprised with the handshake Magnus gave him. Actually, he’d expected the man to go for a hug, but the handshake was there so Alec let himself be transfixed with Magnus’s hands for the short few seconds it took for them to part.He was surprised with Raphael’s handshake however.

“I’ll see you shadowhunter.”

Remembering the fact this guy knew he’d once had a crush on him, Alec kept his voice as straight as he could when he said, “You too.”

Then they were gone and the house felt quieter again.

“... now think about the recipient and set the paper on fire,” Ragnor instructed.

It was winter, near Christmas again. They didn’t have any snow yet, and while Alec was a little sad about it, Ragnor wasn’t. There was something off about him these days, a twitchiness to him that set even Alec’s nerves on edge.

He set the paper on fire, concentrating on who he wanted it to go to. In less than a second another piece with Alec’s handwriting was flying into Ragnor’s outstretched hand. “Good,” Ragnor said, tossing the thing in the fire. “Really good.” He did that thing again he’d been doing recently. That slight moment of stillness, as if he was listening for something. Alec felt his hands clenching the longer it went on, even more so when Ragnor, instead of brushing it off like he usually did, told him, “Hide your wings. Someone’s coming.”

He did, Alec noticing the flare of a portal, his magic more attuned to others now he was learning more. It didn’t feel unfamiliar however, and was proven so when Magnus stepped into the house not long after.

“They’ve called the council,” Is all he said before walking out.

“Are you-?”

Ragnor was already standing. “Stay inside Alec. I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

Ragnor was gone a long time. Two days in fact. When he did come back he spent a few seconds just looking at Alec before saying, “The warlocks are going into hiding.”

“It’s really that bad?” Alec asked. He’d not heard of any more people disappearing. But, he was sure that was just because no one had deemed to tell him. Still, from the way Ragnor was considering him he didn’t think they had gotten to the point where it looked like he was asking himself whether it would be better to hand Alec over to more than just himself.

Proven so when Ragnor said, “The disappearances have turned to murder. There’s more and more absences of magic every day. The council agreed everyone below a certain level was to seek refuge with their High Warlock and await further instruction.”

Murder. “Am I going then?”

It was a long couple seconds before Ragnor shook his head. “Technically, as the old High Warlock of London, you already have sought refuge with your High Warlock. We’re going to have to take some extra precautions though Alec. No more trips out. It’s too dangerous.”

He understood. He didn’t like it, but he understood. “Am I still allowed on the grounds?”

Ragnor thought for a moment before nodding, “We’ll have to strengthen the wards first but, yes, I see no problem with that. When you’re finished with your breakfast I’ll need you outside. It’s time you learned how to protect yourself.”

Wards were a complicated craft. There was more to it than just waving around his arms and forcing protection outwards. There were maps to be made, contingencies to think of. Sometimes there were even symbols drawn. 

All heavily intricate stuff that Alec forced himself to understand. 

Strangely, Ragnor didn’t tell him not to fly anymore. In fact, flying became their main afternoon activity. Instead of having the afternoon free, another hour was taken out of his day to dedicate it to building up his stamina.

“So if anything happens to me,” Ragnor said, “I’ll know you can still get away, and get away fast.”

He practiced with his bow and sword too, Ragnor sometimes calling drills to him he had to have picked up at his time at the Academy and actually setting Alec homework when something wasn’t up to par. Sit ups, push ups, takedowns, target practice it was very much like being back at home only, sort of worse, or better depending on how it was looked at. Ragnor had magic, meaning he had the ability to conjure or create illusions that definitely put the fear of God into Alec. He was being desensitised, he knew. Ragnor was doing what Alec’s parents had been too afraid to do and gave him a taste of what it would be like if he came into contact with rogue Downworlders, Shadowhunters or demons. 

In the mornings, his magic was focused more on offensive and defensive measures. He was taught to conjure fire balls, build up shields and generally stay alive should he lose his weapons at any point. 

They celebrated Christmas with just the two of them. Ragnor didn’t like leaving, and had subsequently stopped getting the mail. Alec understood and had to explain to lie to his family, later, when they asked if he got their presents in time. It wasn’t like they were going to be anything special. A few shirts from Izzy probably, a new array of books, or maybe even a violin bow since Jace was adamant that he learn to play an instrument so he could accompany Jace’s piano. Max had probably gotten him something weird from his stay in wherever he was right now and, well, his parents had never been one for Christmas so who knew with them.

He wasn’t the only one suffering, if he could even call it that. He knew Ragnor wouldn’t be getting his usual letters from friends, and the odd gift that came with them. He knew Ragnor, too, was stuck just like Alec, the pair of them feeling the difference this new weight on top of them brought. They were no longer guests, but prisoners, waiting for something to happen. Be that an attack or the call of victory.

The months passed, Alec able to fly gracefully for near two hours before needing a rest. His fighting skills were sharper than ever too. That didn’t mean he wasn’t still bored because he was. He was so bored. Bored enough that he let Ragnor paint him for something new to do.

“Do I have to be naked?” he asked, already stripped to his underwear.

“Do you see angels with black briefs Alec?” Which was a fair point. Ragnor threw a sheet at him. “If you can cover them with this they can stay on. Now are you sure you can stay in the same position?”

“Yes.” He had a book and everything. “Just, if I look like I’m falling asleep splash me with water or something.”

Ragnor promised to do just that, dragging his canvas that little further towards the sun. 

It was a hot day, perfect for lazing around, which was why Alec had actually considered Ragnor’s usual question of whether it would be okay to paint him. He didn’t understand why Ragnor wanted him as a subject, but considering it wasn’t fifty burpees followed by hours of monotonous shooting he thought why not.

He sat himself on the rocks overlooking the river, back to the sun and started losing himself in the weird mundane narrative Ragnor had lying around the house. 

Alec was quite surprised at the raunchy bits, peering over at Ragnor when one went into specific detail. He didn’t care for it much himself, skipping the few pages, but it was kind of funny imagining Ragnor reading it. 

He had just gotten to another raunchy part when the air shifted around him and a portal appeared. Ragnor was already in front of Alec, paintbrush branded before him as a weapon even as both of them recognised the familiar magic. 

Alec didn’t trust it, wishing he’d thought to bring his bow as Magnus stumbled out. He waited, poised, but it was just Magnus, and the man himself wasn’t looking all that good.

The portal closed with a wave of Magnus’s hand, Ragnor catching him before he fell to the floor. There was a nasty gash on his face, his clothes stained with blood as well. Alec didn’t even think before grabbing Magnus around the waist and picking him up. “Do you feel anyone else coming?” Alec asked.

Ragnor shook his head, “The wards are keyed to certain people.” Actually just Magnus, and it had been, Ragnor had told Alec, only for emergency use only. Like now. “Get him inside.”

Magnus was already protesting before they got to the threshold, “It’s only a cut,” he said, yet didn’t attempt to leap down from Alec’s hold. “A lucky shot, really. If they didn’t have one of the children as hostages I would have done away with him easily.”

Alec stopped dead, realising what Magnus being here meant, “They found you?” How did they get in?

“Unfortunately the warlocks in my district aren’t very adept at maintaining wards. I’m suspecting an inside job actually, but my heart wants to think no one’s that stupid.” 

Ragnor cleared one of the sofas, Alec setting Magnus down gently, the pair of them prying his hands away so they could get a good look at his eye. Yeah, that was a nasty cut. A slash, not a gouge however, meaning they wanted to disorient. Ragnor’s hand started glowing as Alec fetched a cloth, cleaning the blood from Magnus’s fingers while his eye was tended to. “Let me guess,” Ragnor said as he peeled the eye open to check there was no inside damage. “You were at a party.”

“How did you know?” Magnus grinned, then hissed when Ragnor whacked him.

“Our people-”

“It was important,” Magnus insisted. “I wasn’t there to dance, I was there to negotiate. A few shadowhunters wanted to talk so I let them. Jocelyn’s child has started to remember.”

That got a beat of silence, Alec wondering when he would never feel like he was missing out on something with these two. “That is troubling,” Ragnor agreed after a moment, hands back to healing. “I suppose I should be expecting a visit sometime soon then.”

“Don’t know why,” Magnus said, “But, probably. They have warlocks working for them too. Not spies. There was something wrong with them. I couldn’t put my finger on it.”

Definitely troubling. 

“Right,” Ragnor said after a moment, Alec keeping Magnus’s hand still, he knew what blood in the eye did to a person. Especially someone else’s blood. “All done. Where else did they get you?”

Blinking a few times, Magnus nodded to where there was a short tear in his shirt, Ragnor getting right to it. “I don’t know what to doooo- what the-?”

Alec whipped around, expecting, well, he didn’t know what he was expecting. But nothing was there. When he turned around, Magnus certainly didn’t share his opinion since he was staring, wide eyed, at something just beyond Alec’s-

Oh. “Er, so, you don’t know what to do?” not what Alec had been meaning to ask, but, he didn’t think Magnus should be focusing on the whole ‘Alec’s a warlock’ thing right now. “Magnus?”

He floundered for a moment before forcing out, “Well my loft is compromised and the warlocks scattered. Even if I wanted to gather them back up I have no idea where to… Ragnor did you do something to my vision?”

Ragnor squinted for a moment before he too realised Alec had forgotten to hide his wings when Magnus popped up. “Afraid not. And if they went for your loft they’re most likely looking for you. Best lay low and let the New Yorkers handle themselves for a while. Maybe now, with a few more complaints, those shadowhunters will actually do something.”

Magnus didn’t appear to be listening, eyes transfixed on Alec’s wings that he could feel fluttering slightly under the attention. “Mom should be doing something already,” Alec said. “If she’s not then there’s a good chance someone higher up is in the Circle.”

Magnus’s other hand, the one not being rinsed, was reaching forward, Alec catching it before it twisted him too far from Ragnor’s grip and starting on that one. “So are we just not talking about it?” Magnus asked a little floaty. 

“My mom got raped by a demon when she was in the Circle, what else is there to know?”

Alec finished setting the rings down, not too sure what exactly Magnus wanted from him.

Whatever answer he had expected, that one wasn’t it apparently, he actually looked genuinely horrified as he whispered, “Poor Maryse.” 

He couldn’t help looking up at that, “You’re feeling sorry for my mom?”

Those eyes went hard, “Alexander a lot has happened between myself and your mother, but even in my darkest hour I would never wish something like that to happen to her. To anyone. And it’s not like I’m not glad you’re alive but-”

“I know,” he said quietly. He did. “But it happened and I’m here. And if you do tell anyone I have wings mom’s gonna find wherever you’ve hidden yourself and finish whatever job she started twenty odd years ago. She’s pretty adamant no one know about it.”

“I can see why,” Magnus breathed, eyes once more just behind Alec’s head. He shot a look to Ragnor after a moment, his eyes wide, “I can’t believe you knew.”

Ragnor seemed to catch onto something else Magnus was saying in that sentence since he sent a grin back, “I have to admit it was funny.”

“It’s humiliating.”

“You’re the one who insisted on taking them.”

“That’s because I didn’t know-” Magnus finished the rest of that with a gentle smack to Ragnor’s arm. “At least I wasn’t hallucinating that night,” he said instead. “Do you know how many nightmares I had Ragnor? Because it wasn’t funny.”

“I wasn’t allowed to tell you Magnus.”

They bickered for a while, Magnus getting everything, every wrong thing he said to Alec, or every time Ragnor had skillfully evaded answering him about ‘Will’s return from the grave’, off his chest until they circled back around to what Magnus was going to do now.

“Don’t know,” He sighed again, “Lay low for a while and figure things out from there I suppose.”

Ragnor hummed, patting Magnus’s newly mended skin, “Well you can stay here tonight. But I think Alec and I will need to get moving if they actually do have warlocks working for them.”

“But the wards-” Alec tried.

Ragnor shook his head, “I there is indeed something ‘off’ about these warlocks I don’t want to find out what that is. I have another safe house we can go to. It’s a little more cramped, but it should do to keep you safe.”

He didn’t know if he liked that idea or not. He didn’t know if he liked any of this. He’d been taught to fight all his life yet here he was hiding. For his own good, yes, but it was getting real tiring just hearing the world go on around him without being a part of it. 

“I’m going to fetch my paints,” Ragnor said. “You know where the shower is Magnus, I suggest you use it.” He left.

It dawned on him, just as the door shut, what exactly they’d been doing before Magnus had shown up. So far Magnus hadn’t mentioned it, too transfixed with Alec’s wings, and he half hoped it’d stay that way until he could somehow develop the ability to turn invisible.

Alas, he didn’t, and as Magnus dragged his hand over Alec’s, making sure his fingers caught the edge of his, he seemed to notice for the first time Alec’s state of undress. There were the wide eyes again, Alec feeling very much on display as they ran quickly over him. He seemed to know Alec was uncomfortable however, as he quickly turned his nose up, eyes on the ceiling as he walked towards the staircase. “Call me down when dinner’s ready?”

“Yep,” Alec heard himself squeak, and felt like melting into the floor immediately afterwards as he conjured his shirt and pants from outside. 

At least there had been nothing too explicit. He’d had his briefs on. It was really just like going swimming, he wore just about the same amount of clothing. No big deal. Except, it probably would be if he went swimming with Magnus. He wondered what Magnus wore when he went swimming. He’d spied a few of his sister’s magazines through the years to have a pretty good picture of just what men who were comfortable in their own skin liked to wear, and Magnus was certainly that. 

He forced himself to think of something else. For crying out loud the man had just been attacked. So, other things. Like just how he was going to get Ragnor to promise never to show that painting of Alec to another living soul so long as he breathed.

Dinner, when it was conjured, was a quiet affair to begin with. He could feel Magnus looking at him, and knew Ragnor was looking at Magnus looking at them. Glaring more like. But Alec remembered the first few years of Ragnor coming to the Institute. How he’d scoop Alec up and make him put on a show, asking him fifty gazillion questions about his wings he’d never even thought of before. Even now he didn’t waste an opportunity to ask for a few feathers Alec had molted away. Hell they’d just spent the afternoon with him in his undies because Ragnor wanted to ‘immortalise’ his wings. Ragnor had nothing to glare about.

Besides, Alec kind of did the same when Magnus had his own warlock mark out. Something about those eyes… he couldn’t explain it. It was fascinating seeing them, how they interacted with the world around them, and their expressiveness. Alec bet Ragnor could always tell when Magnus was in a mischievous mood through the years. Alec had noted it himself how they got huge when he was excited, exactly how Chruch’s used to whenever Alec would walk past him.

He missed that little ball of fury.

So Ragnor really had nothing to glare about. He was just doing it because he probably thought it made Alec uncomfortable. Which it did. But only because he always felt uncomfortable when Magnus looked at him.

“So,” Ragnor said, Alec jumping a little in his seat. 

“So,” Magnus parrotted when Ragnor left it at that. 

“H- how are your cats?” 

A safe topic, and one Magnus could talk for hours about. Until he started getting a little frantic as he realised he’d left his babies back in New York.

“No,” Ragnor warned.

“But it’s cold outside-”

“It’s the middle of summer-”

“And Chairman’s an indoor cat. He needs company Ragnor or he’ll die. Oh God, what if the Circle members got him. I don’t remember seeing him when I was hurrying people out.” 

Alec wanted to say that they probably wouldn’t bother with a cat. Why would they? They were after the warlocks. But, this was Magnus’s cat, and Alec knew people could be sadistic, these kinds of people especially. “Maybe if it’s just Chairman?” Alec asked.

Ragnor floundered for a moment, looking almost betrayed before huffing and magicking up a portal he disappeared into for a good five minutes. He’d never seen Magnus so worried as he was in those five minutes. He was practically picking at his nail varnish, hands above the table, ready to move if someone else ventured through that portal that wasn’t Ragnor.

Ragnor prevailed in the end. Cat, litter box and all, in arm, he set the Chairman in front of a very happy Magnus and proceeded to tell Alec this was the only cat he was fetching today. Alec held his hands up, he was sure the others would have scattered. Cats could mostly take care of themselves. When they weren’t indoor cats that was.

Chairman proved to be a good ice breaker anyway. Even Ragnor looked a little more at ease now Magnus wasn’t constantly staring Alec’s way. He didn’t hate Chairman either, just put up a front like he did with all of Magnus’s antics. In fact he was the one to give Chairman the tour, telling Magnus that since he wasn’t going to give the house rules it was up to Ragnor. 

Later, after the tinkly bells had been magicked up and abandoned, Alec remembered just why he liked cats. Chairman was a lot like Church. Except Chairman was actually a nice soul who didn’t hiss at anyone and everyone that wasn’t Alec or the Silent Brothers. He got the same big eyes Church did when he wanted to play, and spent an age stalking Alec before wiggling his butt and pouncing.

Unlike Church, again, however, Chairman didn’t actually make contact. He just left his paw hanging in the air, taking a few swipes at the feathers Alec dangled off the floor before running off to try again. 

“He’s a harmless thing,” Magnus said when Chairman took another go at it, like Alec might mistake play time as a sign of aggression. “He won’t actually hurt you. To be honest I’m surprised he’s even out in the open. Usually he’s off hiding whenever there’s new people around.”

Alec grinned, swiping his wing up at the last minute and watching Chairman jump for it again. “He’s cute. And I’m sure it’s not me personally. I’m like a big bird to them. They just want to hunt me.” He brought it up again, bopping Chairman lightly with the tip of a feather when the cat touched the ground.

As if finally taking that as permission, Alec had a tabby cat chewing on one of his feathers, his feet rabbiting out as he tried to kill the big bird taunting him. 

He was surprised when Chairman let Alec grab him, the cat chirping as Alec set him on his lap. He looked up, seeing another cat that looked very much like it wanted to pounce him. “How are you feeling? Are your eyes okay?”

“Fine.” He blinked once at Alec with those slits that were currently blown wide after watching Alec’s feathers move one too many times. “Thank you for caring.”

“Of course I care.” Anyone else would too. “No one deserves what they were going to do to you. You especially. You were only trying to protect people.”

Magnus hummed, face twisting as he thought that over. After a moment he set the drink he’d stolen from Ragnor’s gin cupboard and slid to the floor, Chairman immediately abandoning Alec now his dad was in reach. “This is very strange for me,” Magnus admitted after a moment.

Alec didn’t have to guess what. “It’s strange for me too. I always thought dad would be able to get rid of them and I could just be a normal shadowhunter.”

Magnus hummed again, shoulders relaxing as he rhythmically pet the Chairman. “Do you think you would be happier as a shadowhunter?”

What sort of question was that? Of course Alec would be happier if he was a shadowhunter. He could have a parabatai. He could go fight demons. Protect his family and not be sent like the family’s shameful secret into hiding because his mom didn’t want anyone to use him as leverage against her. Still, he found himself saying, “I don’t know,” because it was kind of true. He’d sort of been a shadowhunter before and he’d been miserable. Even now he wasn’t exactly happy, but he was happier here than he had been back there. Maybe it was just because Ragnor knew he was gay and since it was only Ragnor here he didn’t have to worry about more than one person ostracising him. Or, it could be that he didn’t feel so suffocated here as he did at the Institute. Well, he did now, but before, when Ragnor would take him on trips, he’d been to more places in the last two years than the last twenty years of his life. If he’d been a shadowhunter he wouldn’t be allowed to leave the Institute. Or, was that if he’d been allowed to stay?

He honestly didn’t know anymore. So much of what he thought of his life as a shadowhunter was what he’d lived, and Alec hadn’t lived a proper shadowhunter life. But it was the only one he knew, and the only one he could think of himself living even if Robert had fathered him. 

“What did you like about it?” Magnus asked. “I’m being serious before you start laughing too. What about the shadowhunter life is so good?”

He shrugged, struggling to find the words he needed. Eventually he came up with, “I guess it’s just what I was born into. I think if I’d been born to a mundane family I’d want to be mundane. It’s just what I know, you know.”

“So you don’t find glory in vanquishing demons?” Magnus posed.

Alec shrugged again, “I’ve never killed a demon. Mom wouldn’t let me out of the Institute.”

“Course she wouldn’t,” Magnus muttered, a roll to his eyes before he got back on track, “What about the superiority of your bloodline? You don’t enjoy that? As I recall the Lightwoods are still a respected family.”

“Technically I’m not a Lightwood,” Alec huffed.

Magnus let out a slow sigh, seeming to berate himself as he remembered, “Of course you’re not.”

“And no. I mean, it’s nice and all, but, we never really got to see the perks of being a Lightwood.” They didn’t grow up in Idris, in their actual home. They’d been brought up at the Institute, soldiers from the moment they were born. They never got to go to balls or make friends at the Academy. “To be honest I don’t really see the big deal. I’d say it was the money, but, you probably have more money than my family. The status stuff is just not what we were brought up with.” It was all about gaining what little status they had left than keeping it, and Alec had never really been a part of that grand scheme.

“Then why? Why do you think you can only be happy as a shadowhunter?”

Again, Alec could only say, “It’s all I know.”

“But it’s not,” Magnus said, glancing around, “You know this now. And, I’m not talking about being a warlock. Trust me, I still struggle with that, it’s a long journey. But you’ve had a taste of life without demons and missions. Do you think you could be happy living without it?”

Alec thought about it. Really thought about it, and realised he could. “So long as I could see my family.”

Magnus nodded before he finished, “Of course. No one should be denied their family if they can help it.”

Silence reigned, Chairman’s soft puffs the only thing accompanying the crackling of the fire for a while. Then, “Why? Why that topic?”

Magnus rolled his eyes again, at himself not Alec he realised as Magnus said, “Because I’ve been behaving awfully to you. I understand why the secret had to be kept, but I wish I’d been asking you things like this before. I should have known when you had no runes that you weren’t just… here for no reason.”

“I did say they were hidden under my clothes,” Alec pointed out. “It’s not your fault you didn’t think twice about it.”

“True,” Magnus grumbled. 

“And I don’t want big conversations from you, not this kind anyway. I don’t want you to be nice to me now I’m suddenly not a shadowhunter. You have your guard up for a reason, you shouldn’t drop it just because you think I’m friendly.”

Magnus pursed his lips, “I was already being nice to you before I found out if you remember.” Which, yeah, he had been. Although nice wasn’t exactly what Alec would call the constant attempts to both give Alec a good day and see how many times he made an ass out of himself at the same time. “And the conversations are things you need to think about. I’ve been down this road many times before with other Downworlders. The only difference is that you’re on the opposite side of the problem.” 

Alec didn’t get it.

Magnus knew he didn’t get it as well since he went on to explain, “Werewolves and vampires, they have to leave a life behind when they get turned. I’ve seen many of them become bitter shadows of themselves because of it and it’s because they don’t know what to do. They don’t understand this world they’ve suddenly been thrown in so, if they happen upon my doorstep I ask them what they want in life. If they think they can be happy without their glamorous day job, if they think they can find love again. A family. That’s them. You, you’re already in the shadow world. Your problem is asking whether you’re going to be happy without it. We warlocks tread a fine line. We can live as mundanes without the complications a vampire or werewolf have. I’m not saying you need to turn your back on the shadow world completely, I mean,” he spread his arms out, quickly dropping them when Chairman gave him a wounded look for the lack of petting. “I haven’t. But I also make a point in finding happiness outside of it too. So, Alexander, do you think you can be happy?”

He wanted to say yes again but, “I don’t know.”

Magnus smiled, wiggling Chairman at him, “I don’t know is better than no,” he said, “It just means you’re uninformed.” He leaned in a little closer, “Don’t tell Ragnor this but you really couldn’t have lucked out on a better guide. If this damn war wasn’t starting again he’d be the perfect man to introduce you to the pleasures the world can offer you. My advice, and I promise this is the last I’ll speak of it if that’s what you want, is to keep an open mind. Maybe try something new. You have eternity Alexander, it’s up to you what you want to do with it.”

Eternity. It was such a long time.

Magnus seemed to be doing okay with it, turning Chairman over until he was lying like a baby. “I’d best get this one to bed. Ragnor made it clear no zoomies after eleven. It’s going to be a nightmare keeping you from wrecking my room,” he cooed to the cat, carrying him up the stairs. “Goodnight Alexander.”

“Night.” Maybe he should get a cat.

Or a horse.

Definitely a horse.

He didn’t sleep well that night. 

It wasn’t because of Magnus’s conversation with him. Although that did weigh on his mind a little. Actually, it was the ruckus across the hall that bolted Alec’s already frail nerves leaving him jumping periodically through the night.

Despite ‘no zoomies after eleven’ Chairman Meow had no problem showing Magnus just how much he disliked not having the run of the house. Things were knocked over. Things were smashed, and at one memorable point in the night Alec heard, “Chairman Meow if you don’t go to sleep this instant daddy is going to be very cross with you!”

Liar.

Magnus couldn’t get mad at Chairman if he wanted to. Proven when Chairman did not in fact go to sleep and apparently jumped on Magnus five times in revenge. When morning came Chairman still didn’t look suitably chastised. Carried in Magnus’s arms he was getting fifty kisses a second on his fluffy head as he was asked what he wanted for breakfast. 

Ragnor was apparently versed with what closing a cat in a room all night did since he gave Magnus a blinding grin asking how he slept. He got a dirty look in response. “You can let him out. So long,” Ragnor warned, “as he doesn’t destroy anything that can’t be mended.”

“Why didn’t you say that last night?”

Ragnor didn’t answer, conjuring up breakfast instead. 

Alec snuck Chairman little bits of egg throughout breakfast, he let the cat attack his feathers again too, Chairman careful to not stick his claws in the big bird that handed him egg. 

After, Ragnor and Magnus retreated to his study, the two of them talking about what happened now. Alec had been left downstairs, orders to look over the next few spells Ragnor wanted him to try out. The look he got from Magnus alone, like it was finally sinking in Alec wasn’t a shadowhunter, stuck with him the whole time. 

They came down late in the afternoon, neither looking any happier than when they’d gone up. “Are we leaving them?” Alec asked.

Ragnor’s lips twisted, “Maybe not. It’s come to my attention my house in Idris is more well known than this one.”

“You have a house in Idris?” As soon as he said it Alec remembered Ragnor had taught at the Academy there. Of course he had a house. There was no way they would give him his own lodgings there. Not back then. Alec’s mother would know about it. Everyone her age would know about it actually, meaning those who were probably in the Circle then, and probably now. “Right.”

“We’ll see how things pan out here,” Ragnor said, which explained why he wasn’t happy. Just waiting to see if they were attacked wasn’t the best way to live their lives. 

“I did offer Brooklyn,” Magnus butted in. 

“You know as well as I do as soon as you go back they’ll be on you,” Ragnor sighed. “Especially after you butchered who knows how many Circle members.”

“Seven,” Magnus said, preening a little. “They deserved it after what they did to the children.”

Alec felt his heart almost give out. There were children there? 

Ragnor had said all warlocks were flocking to their high warlock so of course there would be children there. It was just, whenever Alec thought of a warlock he thought of Ragnor, or Magnus. Someone who’s been alive for over a century, at least, and most certainly an adult. It didn’t cross his mind that there were kids out there, like he’d once been, trying to figure their lives out as well. Only, like Alec, they’d been born at the cusp of another war. 

God this was awful.

“Well I have to go back,” Magnus said. “After a while.”

Ragnor rolled his eyes, “I’ve already said stay as long as you like.”

Alec caught the look Magnus gave him. He wanted to stay. He probably wanted to stay long enough for this war to pass. But Magnus was a High Warlock, meaning he couldn’t just hide away and hope the shadowhunters would finally do something. It was probably pure luck if Magnus made it past this war as unscathed as he did the last, and considering Alec had seen him crash into Ragnor’s twice now injured he didn’t have high hopes. 

Recovery, however, was on the menu right now, meaning that, for the time being, Magnus was free to make as many excuses as he wanted to hide away from the world for a while. Which he did that night reacquainting himself with Ragnor’s liquor cabinet. 

Alec woke the next morning to something warm on his lower back. He spent a whole two minutes panicking before a set of claws got him right in the ass and Alec remembered cats weren’t bound to the laws of physics like the rest of the world. So when Alec saw the door he’d closed last night open a slither, he knew Chairman could work a handle. Magnus must have blocked the door his first night here.

“Up Chairman,” Alec tried, going for the nice approach first.

Chairman didn’t budge. Nor did he know the meaning of negotiating since he didn’t budge when Alec promised him all the cat treats he could conjure if he kindly stopped digging his claws in that part of Alec’s body. 

“Come on,” Alec whined five minutes later. He didn’t want to budge the poor thing manually. What if Chairman decided he didn’t want to play with Alec later because of it? He couldn’t take that chance. “I’ll magic you a bed. A nice one. With little pom poms on so you can play with it too.”

Chairman dug his claws in again.

“You’re not going to get him to move,” came from his doorway. Magnus wasn’t even looking at him, or moving, just leaning slightly into his room, Alec hoping his eyes on Chairman and not Alec’s old pair of briefs. “He’ll stay there all day. Especially if you keep fluttering your wings like that. He’s five seconds away from making you even more uncomfortable.”

Alec’s wings fluttered at that, feeling the pounce as uncomfortably as Magnus promised. As soon as Chairman touched down, and touched down right between his legs, Magnus grabbed him, sniggering the whole time.

He scrambled up before Magnus let the little Chairman go, checking himself for scratches. “You’re up early,” Alec noted.

“Right on time if you ask me,” Magnus set the cat down, “What are you doing today then?”

“Doing?” He shrugged, subtly trying to cover himself with his sheet. “Er, studying? It’s kind of what Ragnor has me do in the mornings.”

“I see,” Magnus said slowly. “And the afternoons?”

“Whatever doesn’t end up with me in trouble.” 

“Great,” Magnus beamed at him, “So you wouldn’t mind spending time with me?”

“Like…” In what context? Because he was lonely? Because Ragnor was probably going to be spending the day doing the wards and Magnus didn’t want to stand around doing nothing? Or, “Like a…  _ date? _ ” He felt stupid even asking that.

Yet Magnus nodded. He’d just- oh. 

“Okay.” His voice was seven octaves higher than normal. His heartbeat was following along those lines too.

He’d just said yes to a date. An actual date. One he knew was going to take place and would be present for. 

“Have fun with your magic lessons,” Magnus said, Chairman following him out the door. 

Right. So, this was happening. 

He could barely concentrate that morning. Magnus had made himself scarce, which should have helped, but in actual fact made Alec wonder all through trying to learn a new shielding spell just what Magnus was doing. Was he getting ready for this afternoon? Sleeping? Chairman had wandered away from him, so the latter was probable.

Ragnor called him a hopeless case near lunch, muttering about just why he postponed lessons when they had company as he tried, again, to get Alec to deflect an upcoming spell. He had a bit of a lengthy healing session after that.

Lunch came with still no Magnus. Alec paid it no mind, quite happy for it in fact because it meant he could change. He had nice clothes hanging around somewhere. It just took a bit of digging to find them.

He must have applied seven layers of deodorant before slipping said fancy clothes on. Even after it all he still felt like there were sweat stains seeping through. Did everyone get this dehydrated before a date or was it just him? He fanned himself out, wondering if he should fix his hair, or maybe wash it. Did it smell? Did he smell? Screw it, he was taking a shower.

He finally understood, when he emerged from the bathroom, just why Izzy took forever to get ready. It wasn’t so much the picking of the clothes, it was making sure it stayed presentable long enough from first being put on to seeing whoever she was going out with that was the challenge. 

He was calling himself an idiot as he shoved his boots on. He was overthinking things and yes, this was his first, official, date ever, but that was no reason for him to get nervous. He’d been around Magnus before. They’d went on trips and spent alone time together. Just because this time he knew there was the label of ‘date’ attached did not mean things had to be different. 

He kept repeating that to himself when Magnus knocked on his door, looking just as breathlessly elegant as usual. Alec should have applied another layer of deodorant.

“Ooh, someone’s made an effort,” Magnus purred, inclining his head for Alec to follow. He did, Magnus leading them out of the house and to the edge of the wards “I thought, since we’re both on house arrest, we could do something simple.” He spread his arms out, Alec seeing nothing but a bunch of weird looking pins in the ground. “Skittles!” 

Alec thought about the nicest way to ask, “What is it?”

Magnus squinted before a moment before remembering, “Right, shadowhunter upbringing.” Walking over to the little stack of balls at the end of the grass, he tossed it in the air, “Skittles is like bowling, but, on the ground. Kids play it.” He threw the ball Alec’s way. “You’ve been bowling before, right?”

He had. Once. He kind of saw the similarities now he was looking for them. The pins were stacked up in the usual triangle, the ground was flat, if not slippery, and there was a ball. “My parents preferred ice skating and rollerblading but yeah, I’ve been bowling.”

Magnus’s eyes gleamed at that, “Maybe our next date.”

He let Magnus teach him the rules since it had been a good ten years since he’d been bowling. Once they both knew what was going on, a little practice game was had. Or, not really a practice game since it turned out they were both competitive enough to start keeping score immediately. 

It was nice to know his accuracy skills could be applied here. Alec got told off a little for the ball staying in the air longer than it should be, but then, Magnus was looking for any excuse to take points off him so what did he know. It was good. Not awkward at all. They conversation didn’t lapse either, Magnus launching immediately into a story about just why Ragnor had skittles lying about his house. Apparently they’d bought them for game night, when they two had been roommates, and ended up almost blowing their home up when one of their guests got a little too into the game. 

“I’ve seen sore losers in my time, but that one always sticks in my mind,” Magnus said, making little ‘pew’ noises as he acted out the warlock sending fireballs into his former home.

Sniggering, it took Alec a moment longer than usual to line the ball up, getting distracted with another ‘pew’ and sending it too far left as he doubled down laughing. “Cheater,” Alec accused when he had his breath back.

“Me?” Magnus pouted, shoving Alec out the way, “Never.” He got a strike, the show off.

Skittles was only fun for so long. Once it had took its course Magnus magicked it away and dragged Alec on a nice walk, the pair of them talking about just why Maryse and Robert would threaten their pardon from the Clave to take their children rollerblading.

“I think they just didn’t know what to do with me,” Alec admitted. He told Magnus about how his mom felt guilty about keeping Alec cooped up in the Institute. She probably would have gotten over it had his dad not been so adamant about taking his wings off-

“He did what to your wings?” Magnus asked.

Alec shrugged, “You know, runes and surgeries and anything he could think of really to get them off. Mom said I must be using some kind of magic to keep them on since the knives wouldn’t even penetrate them. Mostly he just cut up my back a lot.” Thank God Ragnor had always come around not long after or who knew how many scars he’d have. 

Magnus looked physically sick when Alec glanced over.

He went back over what he’d said, realising it probably didn’t sound good to someone who didn’t understand. “I didn’t want them on either. I thought, if I got rid of them I could be a shadowhunter, you know. So.”

That didn’t really help things apparently, so Alec just went on with his story. About how his mom would ask him after Ragnor was done if he wanted to do something fun to get his mind off still being a warlock for another few months. They couldn’t do anything dangerous so she’d often sneak him out to do mundane stuff. It was just him and her, most of the time. It was nice as well, just spending time with his mom. She didn’t bark orders at him when they were out doing mundane stuff. Nor did she tell him off for letting Izzy sneak out. So they went out, and after a while ice skating became one of their favourite things to do.

“The lakes freeze over in Idris when winter comes, and mom always told me she’d spend every day racing against her brother on the ice.” Before he left that was. “She didn’t have a lot of friends, so she used to tell me stories about my Uncle Max when we went out. It was nice hearing a little more about my family. Especially the one who didn’t stay a shadowhunter either.” He thought that was why she told those stories in the first place. The rest of her family turned their back on her brother, but his mom still loved him. They used to write, when he first ran off, then, after a while, he just stopped writing back. She wasn’t sure, but she thought either her parents found out and hid the letters from her, or Max had seen the danger he was putting her in and took the first step in cutting off contact. “Last she knew he was expecting his first kid. She never forgot him though. She named my younger brother after him.”

“What a complicated life your mother led,” Magnus said not unkindly.

“Yeah.”

Magnus bumped his shoulder, “So the ice skating?”

His mom brought him there when he was seven. “Her and dad were fighting, and she just didn’t want to be in the Institute anymore.” It also helped that Robert had tried to take Alec’s wings off a few days before, giving her the perfect opportunity to sneak out. “Dad knew when we went out, it was how we didn’t get caught and mom just, I don’t know, I guess she was missing Idris since she looked up where the nearest rink was.” 

They weren’t even glamoured, and after Alec realised he could use his wings to stabilize himself he loved it too. She held his hand the first few times they went. After that she taught him tricks. Then, as the years went on, they started having races. It got better when Izzy and Max came, scarce those occasions were. 

“We never took Jace. I think mom didn’t trust him the first year he was with us not to tell the Clave she’d ventured outside the Institute.” After that it was because Jace would rather do anything else than go ice skating. “I’m kind of glad,” Alec admitted. “Mom sometimes looks at Jace and…”

“You feel like you don’t measure up?” Magnus guessed.

Alec nodded. “Jace is good at everything,” was the problem. Better looking. Faster. Stronger. He was the perfect fighter, and just once Alec wanted something where he didn’t look at his mom and find her looking at Jace instead. 

Magnus took his hand, “No one’s good at everything.”

“Even you?” Alec asked, forcing his tone light. He wasn’t bumming this date down. 

“Especially me,” Magnus said. “I mean,” He thought for a moment, “Your archery. I could never make half the shots you do. Just like you can’t dance as good as I can.”

“The floor was-”

There were fingers pressed against his mouth, Magnus grinning as he stood in front of him, “The point is that there’s going to be something out there that Jace isn’t good at, and if it’s any consolation, I’ll always be looking at you.”

Alec smothered a smile. What kind of line was that? “You sweet talking me?”

“I’m trying.”

They laughed, walking around a little longer until the sky turned pink and the lawn in front of Ragnor’s back door was covered in a picnic. Very romantic. He was pretty sure he was sweating again.

Thankfully both of them had eaten in front of the other, so Alec didn’t even try to remember how to make looking finger sandwiches elegant. Hell Magnus had seen him throw up, Alec was good. It was just the whole intimacy of sitting there, alone, Alec trying not to make faces at the array of cocktails Magnus magicked into his glass.

“Mojito,” he said with a snap, the pink liquid in Alec’s glass being replaced by this new monstrosity.

He tried it, not hating it, but certainly not expecting the kick. 

He saw Magnus not even trying to smother his grin as Alec attempted to hide another face, “Let me guess, you’re more of a wine guy? I knew I should have broke into Ragnor’s cellar.”

“He may actually kill you if you do that again.” Alec set his glass down, not really in the mood to have his throat on fire again. “I don’t know, I don’t go drinking.” Save the, yes, glass of wine he had with dinner sometimes with his parents. “This is good though. Just, I don’t fancy getting drunk on our first… date.” He still couldn’t wrap his head around that.

“Third.”

“Huh?”

“Third date,” Magnus corrected.

“No,” he was sticking to this logic, “I didn’t know they were dates so they don’t count.”

“Of course they were, we went dancing,” Magnus laughed.

“You didn’t even like me,” Alec wasn’t giving this up. 

“I did like you,” Magnus insisted, “I just didn’t trust you, there’s a difference.”

“No, no,” he couldn’t hide his grin, “You are not taking my first date away from me. This was nice, this is our first date. Not…” he waved his hand, memories of being on his ass more times than his feet bombarding him. 

Magnus’s laughter was a little questionable now as he put his own glass down, peering at Alec strangely. He took a moment to calm before repeating, “My first date,” really slowly, like he was feeling the words out. “Alexander, you have been on a date before right?”

That mojito was looking pretty tasty right now as he shook his head, explaining, “Well, I didn’t really get a chance too. My family doesn’t know that I’m- and the Institute and,” he pointed backwards to where his wings were blocking out the worst of the setting sun. “And now I’m at Ragnor’s so…”

Magnus took a suspiciously long drink. “Right,” he said eventually.

“Is that a problem?”

“No.” that was a fast no. “No not at all.” He circled the rim of his glass, “Except.” There was always an except. “Well, usually I go out with people with a little more experience.”

Right. “I get it. I mean, you’ve lived a while,” and no one wanted to be the one to lead around the bumbling virgin. 

“That’s not it,” Magnus said, “You’re lack of experience isn’t even a problem it’s just, are you going to be okay with it?”

“With…?” Oh. He saw the way Magnus was holding himself. He thought he was the problem. It had dawned on Alec too that Magnus was more than experienced. He didn’t even know how old Magnus was, and it wasn’t a secret he lived a colourful life. Did he even want what Alec did? “If you don’t want to make this serious then that’s fine with me. It was nice getting to know you.”

“No I didn’t say that,” Magnus huffed. “And of course I want to explore this. Even if it only lasts for today it’s serious for me, okay?”

Alec nodded.

“I meant, before, are you going to be okay with me? With my history with people? There are some still alive and some don’t have the best stories of me. And... “ he sat further up, wringing his hands a little, “Since we’re laying things down, there are going to be some things I won’t tell you. It won’t be because I don’t trust you, but that’s just how I want things to be.”

He couldn’t lie that some of what Magnus was saying was a problem. But at the same time, Magnus was his own person, just like Alec was, and just because they were thinking about venturing into whatever this was didn’t mean they had to know everything. So, “Everyone’s entitled to their own privacy. If you don’t want me to know something then I suppose I’ll have to trust there’s a good reason for it.” Since there probably was. One thing Alec had learned living with Ragnor was that some secrets were meant to stay quiet, sometimes for others own good and sometimes just for personal own good. 

They looked at each other for a moment, both of them knowing there was more that needed to be hashed out. Alec didn’t even know how this was supposed to work. But, somehow, they both ended up demolishing the rest of the picnic. The other stuff could wait, for now they could just enjoy this little moment they’d carved out for themselves.

They went in just before dark, Alec finding a note Ragnor had left them for Magnus to please behave and not ‘scar Alexander anymore than he already is’. Whatever that meant. Alec heard the man himself puttering about further inside, meaning as soon as they left the kitchen, their date was done. Alec was feeling mighty proud of himself for doing so well.

Magnus, burning the note, seemed to realise the fragility of their time too as he stared consideringly up at Alec. “Usually my third dates-”

“First date-

“Third dates,” Magnus insisted, “end with a little more alcohol and a little less clothing. But, sadly, because I’m still recovering from a horrendous injury,” that was fully healed meaning Magnus was talking out of his ass. “I’ll just say goodnight.”

He actually started walking away too. All that talk and Magnus was willing to slow down. It was sweet. 

Alec stopped Magnus before he got too far, grabbing him around the waist and dipping his head low enough that his intentions were clear. Magnus didn’t say no, nor did he pull away, and instead inclined his head that little bit closer as if telling Alec ‘your move’.

He was never one to back down from a challenge closing the gap between them and hoping to whatever God was out there he didn’t embarrass himself. 

Magnus was warm under his lips, soft and eager as he leaned up on his toes to get that little bit of extra height that truly put them on a level playing field. Everything was lost to sensation and heightened at the same time. He felt nothing but euphoria that threatened to overwhelm him so much he may never remember exactly what had happened other than the feel of what was happening right now. At the same time, he noticed every detail. Every brush of Magnus’s nose against his own, the small giggles they shared between them, the hand in his hair and Alec’s own on Magnus’s lower back, skirting quite close to somewhere that had been taunting him ever since he’d seen Magnus in nothing but a towel.

He dipped down again, and again, angling his head every which way to see what was best. What made it better was that Magnus didn’t stop him, or laugh at him. Instead he helped Alec along, dragging him down so Alec could feel what it was like to have his lower lip dragged slowly between a set of teeth. Or angled a certain way that let Magnus run his tongue lightly along the seam of his mouth.

It was all very- he couldn’t even describe it. Just that it was good, and it was Magnus.

They pulled back at some point, both of them grinning wildly. As much as Alec wanted to kiss him again, he could hear Ragnor still searching for something. They weren’t the only two here, so Alec bade Magnus, “Night,” striding through the door before he could think better of it.

Potion making. That was what Ragnor was doing. He spared Alec a roll of his eyes when Alec came in, Magnus not far behind him. “You two have fun?”

“Magnus cheats at skittles,” Alec said, garnering a smile out of Ragnor.

“I could have told you that.”

“I do not,” Magnus huffed, even more outraged when Chairman abandoned him in favour of wrapping around Alec’s legs. “You’re all just mean.”

They broke out a few more games Ragnor had hidden away. It wasn’t a date, just time together, Ragnor shouting tips Alec’s way when it looked like Magnus might have the upper hand. 

The hours grew later, and eventually Alec called it a night, handing over a sleeping Chairman back to his parent before bidding the other two goodnight.

He heard them talking just as he was out of sight, Magnus’s low, “His wings Ragnor.”

“I know. Sometimes I wonder what Robert was trying to prove…” 

He left them to it. While they were talking about his dad, if they’d wanted him to listen to it, they would have spoken about it in front of him. Besides, he knew neither of them had love for Robert, best Alec just keep out of it, since picking a side had never worked so well before.

He tried not to think about it. Instead, he focused on the fact he’d just had his first kiss. With a guy. 

With Magnus.

Chairman seemed to delight in sneaking into Alec’s room the following few days. Every morning he’d wake up with the little beast perched somewhere on his person. Alec thought, since his wings sometimes hung over the bed, maybe Chairman would wait there and play with the feathers for a while. But no, Chairman liked to sit on Alec’s back, or his neck, and wake him up with a few swats or claws that only threatened to break skin until the big bird he liked to play with woke up.

He tried bribing the cat. He gave Chairman so many of his eggs he was sure they were the best of friends by the end of the day. Yet, the next morning, he’d wake up and there again was Chairman Meow purring on his legs.

Magnus thought it was great. “I don’t date anyone the Chairman doesn’t approve of,” he said when Alec had asked just how Magnus kept the cat from tormenting him in the God awful hours of the morning. 

Speaking of dates, they didn’t formally have another outing like their impromptu skittles game, but they spent enough hours in the afternoon getting to know each other that Alec didn’t mind. 

Except when Magnus discovered the painting Ragnor had been attempting to create that day he dropped in. Then Alec minded. 

“It’s for reference,” Magnus said, phone held high in his hand and Ragnor happily painting next to him.

“It is not,” Alec knew. He just knew and if he’d been allowed to move he would have taken Magnus’s phone and hidden it away. Or at least have shown enough willpower to not end up near naked as his likeness was immortalised on canvas.

He may have been uncomfortable at the time, but even Alec could admit Ragnor had talent when he caught a slither of his painting.

“It looks all… old,” Alec tried. 

Which was an apt description in his book. The whole thing looked like something he’d see in a museum. Or in one of the Institutes. It was all pale pinks and creamy whites with clouds and harps and stuff with the only bright things in it being Alec’s hair, wings, and whatever was covering his dick.

“Thank you Alec,” Ragnor said, already dotting in the other end of his canvas. 

“I for one think it’s great,” Magnus said, “And I know it’s going to look amazing above my bed.”

“You’re not taking it,” Alec said.

“Like hell,” Ragnor agreed.

“I’ll pay you for it,” Like that was the problem. “Just so long as everyone that comes into my home knows the literal angel I’m dating.”

Alec felt his cheeks heat as Ragnor said, “You’re definitely not getting it now.” the two bickering about it until Ragnor suggested doing Magnus’s portrait. That quickly diverted Magnus’s attention. 

Things were nice. Relaxed in a way the past few months hadn’t been. Which was why he should have known something was going to happen. Like an odd phone call in the middle of the night.

“‘Lo?”

“Hi,” a girl. He checked his phone, Jace’s name coming up. 

Oh God this wasn’t one of those jealous girlfriend calls was it? He got them every so often, more so when he was younger and Jace had just started discovering he was actually a catch. Whatever girl he’d went out with would sometimes get jealous and when they got jealous they took Jace’s phone and, obviously since ‘Alec’ was clearly some kind of unisex name in their minds they rang him up and told him to back off.

He blamed Jace constantly talking him up. In Jace’s mind, he thought he was getting a double date for his brother, in theirs, they heard, somehow, a girls name, Jace’s affection for said girl, and then stole his phone to do some damage control.

He couldn’t be bothered with this.

“I’m hanging up.”

“NO!” 

He held the phone away from his ear. Whatever happened to indoor voices. Or, maybe, common courtesy since phones were often held near ears that, in his case, were very sensitive and wishing to meet back with his pillow in the next few minutes. “Look I-” 

She didn’t let him finish, quickly talking over him with the usual, “I know you don’t know me but my name’s Clary-”

“Don’t care-”

“And Jace said you’re staying with a warlock who knows Magnus Bane.”

Okay that was a new one. 

She must have taken the silence as him listening since she went on with, “Jace told me we would only ask if it was necessary but I think his version of necessary is different from everyone elses. My mom’s in trouble, and Magnus Bane is the only one that can help. I know this is a lot to ask from a complete stranger but could you please ask your warlock friend to tell Magnus to meet with us again?”

He checked his phone again, Jace’s name still coming up. He didn’t know why but this whole thing didn’t sit right with him. “Where’s Jace?”

“Jace?” She rustled around with something, “He’s er, training. I, kind of, took his phone. Which is bogus, I know, but I thought you’d be more likely to answer if it was his name popping up.”

He still didn’t like it, “So he just told you his password?”

“Well…”

He swallowed, sitting up a little further in bed, “Could you put Jace on the phone please?”

There was a pause, then a small, “Do I have to?”

“If you want me to help you.”

She sighed down the phone, Alec hearing her clop her way through halls that could be the Institute and could very well not be too. He should have asked her to put him on video. Actually, he did, and saw a disgruntled red head march her way through halls that, yeah, did look familiar to him. 

The sounds of fighting were heard through the speaker before Clary turned the phone Jace’s way, the angle suggesting she was keeping herself out of eyesight. “There.”

“I said put him on the phone, not show me him.” Although, even with this brief look Alec could tell Jace wasn’t being held under duress. He was sparring with Max in fact, his little brother doing his best to defend against Jace’s whirlwind attacks. 

“But he’s there. Why do you need to speak to him?”

He kept quiet, hoping she could see how much he wasn’t enjoying having his sleep interrupted by her tantrum. 

He had three siblings, he could outlast anyone in a battle of wills, and did so again this time as Clary quietly called out, “Jace?” then louder when, of course, Jace didn’t hear her, “Jace!”

If Alec hadn’t long ago sorted his feelings out for Jace, and by that Alec meant last year when he decided Jace could take another parabatai and it wouldn’t feel like his heart was being broken, he would have, he didn’t even know, at the way Jace just melted when he saw this girl. “Clary,” in an instant Max was disarmed, Jace showing off a little more as he twirled the boa staff before sauntering over. “What’s up?”

“I…”

“Jace!” He wasn’t putting up with her toeing around the issue another ten minutes, this was precious sleep he was missing out on.

Thankfully, the speaker was loud enough to travel his voice since Jace immediately dropped his smile. “Is that Alec?”

“I kind of called him,” Clary admitted.

He ignored whatever little fight they were having, flopping back to his pillow. 

Something rattled in his room, Alec bolting up, trying to see what it was. He edged further to his bow as it came again, wondering if it was just a coincidence or something else was at play here. A random phone call, now this? What were the odds.

The rattle came a third time, Alec seeing his door handle move. It jerked down, then again when the handle didn’t give all the way.

It seemed to take an age, Alec already by his bow, knocking one of his arrows, when the door gave way and Chairman Meow sauntered in.

“Little bastard,” Alec hissed, his heart attempting to return back to normal. 

“Excuse me!” came through his phone, Alec forgetting he had it on his bed and his room was not, in fact, very large.

“Nothing,” he picked the screen back up, Clary glaring back at him. “I just had an intruder. Now is Jace going to talk to me or not?”

“Yes,” Jace butted his face in. He side eyed Clary for a moment before asking, “Did she ask you about Magnus?”

Chairman came onto his chest, poking his head around to see what was so interesting on Alec’s phone, “She did.”

“Is that- nevermind,” Jace waved off, “Do you think you could do it? Ask Ragnor? It would be a great help.”

He wanted to say yes but, “I don’t know.” Magnus was in hiding right now. Alec knew it was only for a few more days but, couldn’t he be a little selfish? Besides, Magnus said this specified amount of time for a reason. “What do you even need him for?”

“There’s a memory demon,” Clary said, recounting some wild tale about Magnus taking them because her mom was a shadowhunter and her dad was-

“Are you joking right now?” What the hell happened to courtesy calling? Or, maybe a text. Something to let Alec know his siblings were consorting with Valentine’s daughter. “Jace, tell me you’re joking? You’re not seriously standing next to someone who tried to massacre the entire Downworld.”

He didn’t tell Alec that. Just, again, asked if Alec could ask Ragnor for Magnus’s location.

“Hell no.” he hung up.

He spent a good hour petting Chairman before sleep found him again. When morning came, he wasn’t that much of an asshole not to tell Ragnor about the call. Unfortunately he seemed to be the only one that saw the problem with Jace consorting with Clary.

“You didn’t actually take her memories did you?” Alec asked when Magnus put his two cents in about ‘Clarissa’s character’.

“Her mother was trying to escape that life, and she, at least, feared Valentine wasn’t as dead as everyone else thought he was. She thought it best that I take Clarissa’s memories for safe keeping. Then I disposed of those memories so I wouldn’t get in trouble.” What kind of safe keeping Magnus wouldn’t say, nor would he elaborate on the trouble that would find him because some kid had memories of a few pixies pulling her pigtails on the subway. 

“So,” Alec filled in, “You’re going to go help her?”

To that Magnus pulled a few faces before deciding, “No. I mean, I could. But, getting them is too much hassle. Just text her to look in the Gray book for a while and over time they should return to her. Or not. Who knows. Either way, I’m not putting my neck on the line again for her. I like her and all, but…” he rubbed at his eye.

Alec had to admit, now that he was allowed to stare at them as much as he liked, he didn’t want Magnus to lose his eyes either. 

Unfortunately, texting Jace to tell the red head that she just needed to look into the Gray book opened up a floodgate that would not let Alec sleep at night. Text after text after text bombarded his phone, first from Jace, then from some unknown number Alec was refusing to save even if he knew it was Clary. Magnus had said no and Alec wasn’t going to press the issue. 

“This is important,” Jace snapped when the texts had turned to phone calls and the phone calls to screaming over the phone at Alec to do one simple thing for him.

“And I already asked him, he said no.” This wasn’t the first time Alec had said it and it wouldn’t be the last, he could just tell. “Just make her look in the damn book.”

“I did!” 

“Then make her do it again!”

“I’m asking you to do one thing Alec,” Jace said, voice attempting to stay calm.

“And I did it. He said no.” He hit the end of his bed again, turning to pace back to the door as he thought of other ways to say the same sentence that might have Jace understanding.

“Then ask again,” Jace ground out.

“If he said no once, he’s not going to magically say yes the next time Jace.” God help whatever girl Jace had his eye on if this was how he went after them. “Just make her look in the book. He said it was gradual, give it time.”

“We don’t have time Alec!” 

He rubbed at his face, so very tempted to just hang up and try and sleep. But he didn’t think he could handle the number of calls if he did. He didn’t like turning his phone off either in case it was something important. Or Izzy, who, actually, waited until actual awake hours to call him. Or at least understood the time difference enough to know Alec wasn’t going to be very pleased getting fifty calls at two in the morning. “Then find some other way.”

“You are our other way! Look, I don’t care what you have to do Alec, just pay the warlock to meet with us again.” Warlock, not man. Not Magnus. 

“It’s not my job to negotiate for you Jace.” 

“No it’s your job to help people. And right now Clary’s people and Magnus is the only way to help her-”

“Help her? Help her do what? Aren’t you supposed to be hunting down Valentine? Protecting the Downworld? Finding the people that have been kidnapped? What makes her a priority Jace? She’s Valentine’s daughter, finding her mom should be at the bottom of your list. You’re a shadowhunter, start acting like one.”

There was a pause then, “Is this- are you jealous of her?”

“Wh-” Was Jace being serious right now? “Excuse me?”

“That’s what this is isn’t it? You’re jealous of her.” 

Alec felt bile rise in his throat. Did Jace know about him? Did everyone know and just decide to let him suffer in silence for years?

“Look Alec, you chose to go away,” apparently not since Jace was talking about a different kind of jealousy. The relief at that deferred the rest of Jace’s words making impact for a moment as he went on to say, “You could have stayed but you left, so you don’t get any say in who I hang around with. Okay? You left me. Not the other way around. So the least you could do is ask a freaking warlock to do a simple favour before pissing off to whatever hiding place you’ve ran off to.”

“Hiding place?”

“You think I didn’t notice you never went on patrol? Those secret meetings you had with mom? I know you were scared to hunt demons but you’re a shadowhunter Alec we all get over-”

“I’m not a shadowhunter!” His heart was beating wildly in his chest, pain lacing his knee as he walked into his bed again. “And I didn’t leave because I wanted to. How dare you say that to me! You know how much I love my family. It’s been hell not seeing you every day, and now you’re finally calling me after God knows how long to-”

The phone was snatched out of his hand, Alec turning to see Magnus looking anything but happy as he calmly said through the phone, “Do have any idea what time it is here?” Chairman came in just as Alec sat on the bed, forcing back the frustration that welled in his eyes. “I already told you once, and Alexander has kindly relayed my message again. If you so much as raise your voice like that again I’ll make sure Clary forgets the next seven years of her life.” He hung up, tossing Alec’s phone onto the bed.

“I’m sorry,” since he’d obviously woke Magnus up. 

The man had the decency to not look too bothered by it. “It’s fine,” he said, “just prepare yourself for a good talking to from Ragnor in the morning.”

“It’s not like I wanted to answer,” Alec tried, “He just wouldn’t stop calling.”

“No,” Magnus said, “It’s my fault. I should have told them myself, not have you relay the message.” He sighed, looking blearily around for Chairman who’d already made himself at home under Alec’s wing. “Well there goes my cuddle buddy. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Alec waved him off, not really in the mood to talk more either. Making sure the door was propped open a little, he grabbed Chairman and made sure both of them were comfortable as he tried to find sleep again.

Jace’s words weighed heavily on him however. He woke more than once in the night replaying every detail Jace had noticed through the years. He thought his mom had been smart about keeping him off patrol. She always told the others Alec went off solo, and even logged them in the system so no one would get suspicious. The meetings with mom too, well, he’d always been given the position of head when his parents had to leave on official Clave business so that one he could have explained away. 

Thinking about it, he probably could have explained it all away if he’d just been in his right mind. But Jace had just gotten him that riled up and… yeah, okay, maybe Alec was a little jealous. It wasn’t even about Jace liking some girl. Not romantically anyway. He liked to think, now he’d had time away from Jace, now he’d lived a little, that the feelings had faded from what they once were. He loved Jace, he always would, but not like that anymore. 

But he was jealous. He was jealous that this girl, this practical mundane, had managed to come in and steal the life he’d always wanted for himself. It felt like every step he took forward into accepting himself there was always something to remind him of what he’d lost too. Of what he could have if he just-

He couldn’t finish that because he couldn’t think of just what he could do to make himself a shadowhunter. He had magic, he had demon blood inside of him. He couldn’t bare runes even if he wanted to. He just, he could never be a shadowhunter, and by all rights that Clary girl shouldn’t be one either. Yet there she was at his Institute, talking with his siblings, taking his life away. 

Jace liked her, and if Jace liked her then Izzy was probably smitten. Max probably liked Clary too. She was probably good at fighting, and she was obviously pretty. She was probably allowed on demon patrols. She probably never had to do monitor duty because no one had to do monitor duty really, it was just something his mom would put him on to keep him feeling like part of the team.

It wasn’t fair.

He must have been pondering the unfairness of life longer than he thought since Ragnor actually came up to get him for breakfast. He didn’t mention the late night awakening, but Alec didn’t think for a minute he’d slept through Alec screaming over the phone. 

It was quiet that morning. They did their usual studying, yet when afternoon came all of them were tired enough to agree it was nap time, Alec venturing outside to enjoy the rare summer sun. He couldn’t stop thinking about home. If he checked his phone would there be missed calls on there? Was Jace even sorry about what he said? Alec was. Kind of. About some of what he said anyway, the rest of it was completely justified. Sometimes Jace didn’t understand that there was a wider picture than those around him. Call Alec biased, but he kind of wanted the Clave to hurry up and deal with these Circle attacks so he could go back to living peacefully in the world. It was a shadowhunter mess, not a Downworlder one, yet it was the Downworlders that were suffering. A shadowhunters job isn’t just to help other shadowhunters. Yes, sure, Clary wanted to find her mom, but was her mom more important than the hundreds of vampires and werewolves that had gone missing these last few- it wasn’t even months at this point it was years. 

Couldn’t people see that the more they let things go on the more distrust and opposition they were creating. The Accords were always a fragile thing, and right now they were one more disappearing Downworlder away from not existing at all. Alec didn’t even know if he felt better or worse at the idea that the Clave wouldn’t win another uprising. They had weapons, sure, but the Downworlders far outnumbered the shadowhunters and they knew it. 

Something lifted one of his wings, Magnus curling up inside of it after a second, scooting backwards until his back was pressed to Alec’s front. His head was going around wildly as Alec settled the wing back of them, hand reaching up like he wanted to touch before he turned to grin at Alec. “It’s warm.”

“They’re good insulators.” A fact he enjoyed in winter, not so much in summer. New York summer anyway, English summers were still cold.

“I see that.” his hand did that little jerk again.

Alec took it next time it tried, pressing it up until Magnus was running his fingers over the feathers. “I don’t mind if you touch them. Just don’t pull.”

“No pulling,” Magnus promised, turning Alec onto his front so he could climb out, around and onto Alec’s back. 

Magnus was fascinated with them, pushing them gently up, even asking Alec to take his shirt off so he could see how they connected. 

He did, getting a little thrill at feeling Magnus’s hands smooth up his back. The noises too were quite nice. The little chirps and ‘ooh’s as Magnus found something that excited him. He wasn’t going to lie and say it didn’t feel nice too. He hadn’t really had all that many people touch him there. Not like that anyway. Usually it was just to heal it, or, in his dad’s case, try and pry his wings off. 

Magnus rolled off him after a while, crawling back under their little nook. “Are they heavy?”

Alec moved them around a bit, trying to decide on their weight. “Not really. It’s kind of like having an arm.” It was something that his body had accommodated for and grew with. “They only get heavy when I fly for too long. Even then it’s like running a long time heavy than actual heaviness.”

“Of course you can fly,” Magnus nodded to himself. He reached up, stroking along the shorter feathers again. “I could look at these for decades.”

Alec huffed, feeling much the same about Magnus’s eyes. “Is that really what you came out here to do?” He lowered them down enough to tickle Magnus’s face, the man rolling away with a laugh.

“No,” Magnus said, wiping his itchy nose. “I actually came out here for a nap. Chairman’s hogging the sofa.”

“Ah.” He raised his arm a little, wondering if it was weird that he was this comfortable with Magnus getting closer this soon into their, what, courtship? Relationship? Something.

“I er, also came to tell you that I’ve decided to go home tomorrow.”

Huh. He didn’t really know what to do with that.

“It’s just, I can’t stay here forever. Not that I don’t want to. But, New York needs me. Your brother helpfully reminded me about that last night.”

“That’s got nothing-”

“It does. It is to do with me. I need to start checking on people and making reports and just, doing my elected job.”

Alec could have told Magnus that he didn’t have to. But it wasn’t about Magnus not having to do it. Magnus wanted to do it. He wasn’t a coward. What’s more he wasn’t one to sit idly by. So, “Just, be careful okay?”

“I’ll try,” Magnus promised, rolling until he was facing Alec, their noses touching. “You know,” he said after a while, “If you wanted, I could ask Ragnor if you could come with me.”

“Come with you?” To New York. To his family.

Magnus nodded, “Your parents will hate it, but, your parents don’t really get a say in your life. You’re an adult. What’s more you and I both know Ragnor’s a target just as much as I am. Maybe even more so. They knew him at the Academy. Especially Valentine. Whatever he’s using warlocks for, he’s going to want a powerful one, and Ragnor may not be more powerful than myself, but he is still plenty powerful. You’re just as much in danger here as you are with me.”

Which was a point they all knew was true. Magnus wasn’t trying to persuade him here, just lay out the facts. The facts were that Ragnor was high profile and highly skilled. It made sense to go for Ragnor, Magnus Bane’s close friend when failing to obtain Magnus. 

He was an adult too. He knew his mom worried, and he knew she was just trying to do her best but her best was going to get him mixed up in this war one way or another. Maybe… maybe Alec should try a different tactic. One that wasn’t lying about waiting to be attacked. “Where would I stay?”

“With me,” Magnus shrugged. “I have a spare room. We can still take things slow, and I can organise some magic lessons too. Nothing you wouldn’t be getting here.” The only difference was it was with Magnus and in New York.

“What about Ragnor?”

Magnus pulled a face, rolling his head for a moment before confessing, “Okay, so maybe my proposition isn’t completely selfless. The thing you have to know about Ragnor is that for all his annoying pomp and glares he deeply cares about people. I’m scared Alec, that if you stay here, Ragnor’s going to do something stupid to make sure you’re safe. He’s a smart man, he knows how to hide himself, but if there’s someone in the house that can’t, he’s going to fight them.” And Ragnor wasn’t much of a fighter. 

“Yeah. I’ve thought that too.” It was why he used to sit at the bottom of the stairs some nights, reading books on how to cloak someone while his bow sat tight in his other hand, waiting for something to creak off in the night. 

“He’ll be sad to see you go,” Magnus insisted. “But he and I have been talking and, even Ragnor agrees maybe you’ve outgrown here.” He sat up, “That’s not to say he’s kicking you out. If you want to stay, that’s fine, that’s great even. I just, I know you’ll be happier nearer your family.”

“Can I think about it?” Since it was a lot to give up. He could get months of peace here before something bad happened. Whereas, if he went home, he knew the second he walked into Magnus’s home he’d be fighting off who knew what. 

“Of course. I’m not leaving until tomorrow anyway.” He flopped back down, gently pulling Alec’s wing down until it was covering him like a blanket. 

Magnus quickly dropped off, reminding Alec of the time they’d went stargazing. There was no blanket this time, and the sky was a number of black feathers that glittered with the reflected sunlight from the grass. 

He didn’t have to go. 

If he did go, he knew things would be awkward. Magnus said he didn’t mind Alec moving in but, who were they kidding, they’d been on three dates, that’s it. They barely knew each other, and even Alec knew there was a number of months someone had to wait before even thinking about moving in together. It was just something that needed to be approached with caution. 

What if they fought too? Where would Alec go if things got so bad that he couldn’t stay with Magnus? To the Institute? His parents wouldn’t let him in. It would be bad enough when he turned up in New York at all. As soon as they heard he was back they’d be trying to hide him away like they always did, and Alec would probably let them too. 

Then there was the whole Magnus and his parents thing. Just because Izzy and Max knew he was gay didn’t mean they did. Alec wasn’t planning on keeping Magnus a secret. He wouldn’t do that to someone. But just the anxiety of showing his parents just even more of a disappointment he was had him considering asking if they could just cool things off if Alec did in fact want to go with Magnus.

Magnus would hate it. 

Alec would hate it.

But it was something he had to think about if he was even considering going back.

He thought about it some more. About the little things. Missing Ragnor. The long days of lounging around doing nothing. This little corner of the world where Alec didn’t have to hide who he was from anyone.

It took a while to sort through it all. Long enough for Magnus to use him as a pillow. Eventually, the pros outweighed the cons. Meaning the next morning he could tell both Magnus and Ragnor, “I’d like to go, if you’re offering.” because at the end of it all Alec was persistent. If he and Magnus were meant to be then it would happen regardless of them living together or not. He’d find a way to make it happen, and, if things got bad enough that he didn’t want to live with Magnus then he’d figure that out when it came down to it. He was resourceful, he’d find somewhere.

Other things too made it worth it. The fact that Alec was sick of being useless here. That he wanted to help people, he wanted to talk to the Downworlders of New York and help them help themselves. Hell he’d sneak into the Institute and tie Jace up until he listened if that was what it took to get something actually happening. 

Alec had been born into a position of privilege he was only now realising he had. He wasn’t a shadowhunter, sure, but he’d lived among them long enough to have good relations with them. He knew their laws inside and out, meaning he knew their loop holes and just when it was time to cut their losses and strike out on their own. 

He wanted to help.

More importantly he wanted to protect them. He was a Downworlder, it was time to start living like one.

“You have everything?” Ragnor asked, the portal shivering behind them.

“Yeah.” He dropped his bag, hugging Ragnor as tight as he could. “You’ve always been kind to me. Thank you.”

Ragnor gave him a good squeeze before letting go, “Don’t get yourself killed.” He grabbed Magnus next, the two of them sharing some words in Spanish.

Alec grabbed his bag. He also grabbed Chairman’s carry case, the little cat glaring at him from inside. “Two minutes and you’ll be home you little drama queen.” He’d sensed he was being kicked out of his new home again and had thrown a fit all morning until Magnus had conjured a glittery carry case and wrestled Chairman in it.

He wondered if Magnus had easy to turn doorhandles in his house. Their house, Alec supposed now.

He’d have to get used to that.

“Ready?” Magnus asked.

Alec nodded, the pair of them stepping through the portal and into the chaos of the mortal war.

**Author's Note:**

> Another one shot that was just lying around my drafts


End file.
